Hey, Vern

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For the strangest story about local politics that I've read in a long time, go here. There's a great film noir in there just waiting to be written.

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  1. Forget it. It’s Chinatown.

  2. I think this was already a Rockford Files episode. He used Angel and his friends to run a reverse sting on the town cronies.

  3. I first heard Personville called Poisonville…

  4. Interesting . . . I could take a few pointers . . .

  5. The need 50 voters?

    50 homeless people should do the trick.

  6. Why did they bother driving these guys out? The city’s got 93 residents, 57 of whom are registered voters. Almost all of those 57 are on the public tit. So who, other than Huff and his droogs, is going to be voting for Huff and his droogs?

  7. Thanks for the great story, I think I’m going to use it.

  8. I was going to point out that this sounded oddly like a Dashiell Hammett story (ex: “Nightmare Town”) but the Continental Op not only beat me to it, but did so with flair!

  9. Does Wolfram & Hart have an office there?

  10. There’s a great film noir in there just waiting to be written.

    [Cue solo saxophone.]

    It was a hot a muggy night. The kind of heat and and humidity that drains the life out of you and leaves you a sweaty, exhausted mass on the couch watching reality TV all night. The damn air conditioning in my apartment was broken, my girl friday was out on vacation, and except for a couple of divorce cases that could wait, there was nothing for a private dick to do but sit in his overheated office in cheap suit in front of an electric fan and wish for some action.

    Then SHE walked in…

    That redhead had the body of a playmate under that little black dress, and lips that could put Goldie Hawn’s to shame… even before the latter’s collagen injections. She slinked he way over to my desk and gave me the Lauren Bacall look.

    “Excuse me shamus, are you Akira MacKenzie,” she said meekly. Yeah, she was putting on the innocent act all right, but I knew dames and their games. She may look the part, but this broad was no angel.

    “For you, gorgeous, I’ll be anything you want,” I said coyly. “What can I do for you, Miss…”

    “You can call me Angel,” she replied and battled those deep green peepers with a smiled. I guess I was wrong, either that or she was a member of the psychic friends network. “I have some work for you, gumshoe. Some work that I think you’ll find… interesting.”

  11. Number 6, Chinatown is a fine film, but the best film noir is The Third Man. No, that’s objectively and absolutely correct, so sorry.

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