CPAC Blogging: Too Good to Ask Edition



I'm sure there's some deep metaphor here, but I preferred to just accept it as pure situationist theater.

NEXT: Attn, DC Reasonoids: Happy Hour, Sunday, Feb. 12, 6:30PM

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  1. Well, I suppose that if it wasn’t for certain kinds of wieners, the whole issue of pregnancy and abortion would be moot, wouldn’t it?

  2. Weiners for Choice. Like, real weiners? Oh I get it! That’s so funny!


    I like weiners, but not the kind you eat…I mean not the kind you swallow…I mean…
    I like them even better if I get to choose!

  3. hot dog.


    hot dog


  4. It’s a sausage fest.

  5. Sausages are bigger than weiners, right? Oh, yeah. I really like sausages. But I totally support a choice of weiners!

  6. I (mis?)read the sign as “whiners for choice”, which makes the whole thing about as unintelligible as the other reading.

  7. I knew those weiner lobbyist would be the ruin of this country.

  8. Ah, yes! It all comes back to me now (“like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist,” but that’s a different memory bubble).

    In its early, glory days, National Lampoon often included one of those subscription cards with a picture of a hot dog person (i.e., hot dog with facial features, arms and legs) standing at an open mailbox reading an envelope that read “You May Already Be A Wiener!”

  9. The bottom line is that weiners have a constitutional right to privacy. What a weiner does with its own body in nobody’s business but the weiners (and perhaps a qualified butcher).

  10. Did the wiener spellcheck the sign?

  11. Question: will the Weinerists start protesting and rioting at this depiction of their holy prophet?

  12. I think the misspelling is intentional. With the E before the I it is pronounced exactly like “whiners.” You have to know a bit of German to get the joke, but that’s not really a problem for them: note that her right hand is doing some kind of compulsive, strangelove-esque salute…

  13. Great work Julian!

  14. Can I be frank?

  15. There she is…she stole my weiner mobile…call the cops…

  16. My balony has a first name.

  17. this thread is absolutely the wurst.

    (what!!! no Abe Froeman jokes yet?)

  18. this thread is absolutely the wurst.

    I never sausage a thread in my life.

    I think the misspelling is intentional. With the E before the I it is pronounced exactly like “whiners.” You have to know a bit of German to get the joke, but that’s not really a problem for them: note that her right hand is doing some kind of compulsive, strangelove-esque salute…

    I find this very ominous. Didn’t the Germans, right before they got Hitler, have some kind of “Weiner Republic”?

  19. Meaty stuff.

  20. I respect you guys far too much to make any comments along the lines of “this is a nice, meaty topic that I can really sink my teeth into.

  21. Julian Sanchez,

    So, how did the crowd consume this performance? Was there a great deal of ejaculation?

  22. Jennifer! Ouch!!

    I’m gonna leave this link alone 😉

  23. Cartman,

    I guess if I said something like “bite me” that would only make matters wurst, huh?

  24. She mustard been excited to be there. She certainly seems to be relishing the attention.

  25. No, Mark, she’s just trying to ketchup with her more popular older sister.

  26. Ah shucks, I’m late to the pun-fest. Now I’ll never catch up.

  27. If the pun is the lowest form of wit,
    Is the bun the lowest form of wheat?

  28. The guy in the photo is totally ignoring the pro choice weiner girl. He’s such a braut.

  29. What do hot dogs have to do with a little town in Arkansas?

  30. My favorite Wiener is Mises!’


  31. Michael Savage’s real name is Weiner (true). Coincidence? I think not…

  32. Hot dogs
    Armour Hot Dogs
    What kind of kids love Armour hot dogs.
    Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks
    Pillow girl kids, reason-able kids
    Even kids with chicken pox
    Love hot dogs
    Armour hot dogs
    The dogs kids love to bite.

  33. Which is wurst, if I want my weiner inserted into her buns, or if she wants to eat it raw?

    Is it kosher for me to say that? My what a pickle.

  34. This disgusts me, to be frank.

  35. Maybe, after Valentine’s Day, they can get this girl to advertise for the Reason book.

  36. We’re on a roll now!

  37. Happyjuggler,

    I can’t say as to if that weiner is Kosher, but it doesn’t appear to be made with pork products.
    My guess is it includes white breast meat like a Jenny-O Turkey frank.

    I hope my comment doesn’t set off rioting in Istanbull.

  38. You guys sure picked a weiner this time.

    We have to stick together if we want to be weiners, because in onion there is strength.

    I’d better go and warm that girl up, otherwise she’ll be a chilly dog.

  39. On furter review…

  40. Andouille have a wiener yet?

  41. The choice to not have brats?

  42. Making law is just like making sausage. And I should know!

  43. Making law is just like making sausage.

    As long as you don’t watch how either are made.

  44. Oh, I get it. It’s a reference to Kissing’s Hank’s Ass. Jumping to the end…

    Me: “But…oh, never mind. What’s the deal with wieners?”
    Mary: She blushes.
    John: “Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It’s Hank’s way. Anything else is wrong.”
    Me: “What if I don’t have a bun?”
    John: “No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong.”
    Me: “No relish? No Mustard?”
    Mary: She looks positively stricken.
    John: He’s shouting. “There’s no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!”
    Me: “So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?”
    Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears.”I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la.”
    John: “That’s disgusting. Only some sort of evil
    deviant would eat that…”
    Me: “It’s good! I eat it all the time.”
    Mary: She faints.
    John: He catches Mary. “Well, if I’d known you were one of those I wouldn’t have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you I’ll be there, counting my money and laughing. I’ll kiss Hank’s ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater.”
    With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.

  45. I’d swear that’s Andy Garcia in the green tie.

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