CPAC Blogging: At Least It's Honest Edition

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Professional virgin Ben Shapiro just strolled by talking about his highly nuanced position on the war on drugs: "People who use marijuana piss me off, so I support their prosecution." Which seems more or less consistent with his general philosophy.

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  1. Sounds like he needs a doob and a shag.

  2. Know-nothing scrubs with bad-haircuts piss me off. I support their prosecution.

  3. Well, people who advocate prosecuting marijuana users piss me off, so I support sodomizing their virgin asses with a broomstick.

  4. BTW, according to is bio he’s about 22. Time to take it out of the wrapper, boy! Something tells me you won’t be aging into some kind of cool-even-though-you’re-an-older-virgin-Steve-Carell-type.

  5. I predict that some day this guy will have a scandal where he’s caught doing all of the things he insists he’d never do. I just hope he never becomes important enough for us to hear about it.

  6. “And you know who else pisses me off? Guys in bands! Always wearing tight leather pants and having hot chicks give them spontaneous commitment-free handjobs in the back of their van. And dominatrixes, with thier Rack of Pain and thier cat whips and the exquisite agony they bring! And those homeless guys who urinate on you and then tell you they don’t have change for a twenty! And pet store owners who take it upon themselves to decide that you’ve purchased “enough” gerbils for the week! And cops who won’t cuff you regardless of how many time who call them “pig!” And mothers who treat you like you’re still ten and insist on handling your personal grooming and continually remind you that they’re the only one who understands you even though you’re old enough to have your own website!”

  7. Is it really so surprising that someone who practices a conservative religion would have such a view point (and I don’t just mean Judaism – he could be an orthodox christian or devout hindu or whatever and be just as conservative and mean-spirited).

    Not that orthodox religious folk have the market cornered on conservativism and desire for violence done to those with whome they disagree by any means. Nor have I found them to ever practice compassion for those who either 1) live or 2) step outside of the moral boundaries that their particular religion dictates for practitioners.

    His stance on execution for marijuana users is not surprising in the least, but it is offensive.

    As thoreau said above, I hope this kid is involved in one of those caught-with-your-pants-down-hooker-sucking-his-d**k-while-his-bum-is-being-penetrated-during-a-three-day-coke-bender kind of situation.

    but somehow, people always seem to bounce back from those kinds of things…

  8. sounds like Jeff P. and I have similar vividity in our imaginations…

  9. His stance on execution for marijuana users is not surprising in the least, but it is offensive.

    Where does he say that? I don’t see it in the links on this post.

  10. i think this guy has a “look at me! i’m so young and conservative! isn’t that just so counter to your expectations? i’m the opposite of most young people who just don’t ‘get it’ like i do! dig me!”

    except that someday soon, he’ll just be an old musty conservative. whoop-de-shit.

    i’ve heard a saying that goes like this (i have no clue about the origins):

    “when you’re young, your convictions are a mountain on which you stand, when you’re old, they’re a cave in which you hide.”

    i guarantee that this guy is the most annoying clown in his classes.

  11. sorry, wrong word, I did mean prosecution – guess I was thinking of extremes and “exec-” popped in for “pros-“

  12. that first paragraph should have a “gimmick” tacked on the end of it.

  13. “and those H&R posters who make fun of me! They make me so mad I can barely see the paper I’m writing all thier names down! Just below the list of girls that wouldn’t blow me! Isn’t my cock good enough? I’ll show them all! Won’t they be surprised when they open that anonymous goatse email!”

  14. continuing on above – I meant that his reaction was a little annoying and mean – just cause a guy smoking pot annoys HIM, that guy should be arrested, prosecuted, whatever – that’s a flimsy reason upon which to predicate going after someone in court.

    he’ll make a hell of a lawyer if he plans to attack people/laws/policies based upon how much it raises his particularly sensitive ire.

  15. Get fucked, Ben Shapiro.

    (Take that however you choose to.)

  16. ??Not that orthodox religious folk have the market cornered on conservativism and desire for violence done to those with whome they disagree by any means. Nor have I found them to ever practice compassion for those who either 1) live or 2) step outside of the moral boundaries that their particular religion dictates for practitioners.??

    Add this to the pile of ?tar all with same brush?, regular ongoing ignoramus bigoted comments about religion.

    SO I guess Orthodox Hindus, Mormons, Greed Orthodox, Buddhists, Franciscan Monks, Jesuits, Quakers, Mennonites etc. are all screaming violent lunatics too, who have no capacity to deal with nonbelievers right?

    Why cant? you people talk about Right Wing Evangelicals/jews/crazy islamists without tossing out the ?SO ALL religions eat dicks!? comments? A day doesn?t go by without it.

    Fer @#$@*)#& sake

    JG

  17. I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds Ben Shapiro about the most obnoxious, chickenshit little blowhard in the conservative fold.

    I got so pissed off about him bloviating about the Iraq war etc that I sent him an email with information on how to get in touch with a recruiter for the service of his choice.

    Within a month he wrote a column saying that you didn’t have to have been in the service to talk about military matters. Next time I’ll tell him that’s not what I meant. What I meant is that I think that an ablebodied 21yr old who talks about this war like it’s the most important thing ever is a CHICKENSHIT LITTLE FUCKING COWARD if he hasn’t enlisted.

    Especially when he sings in the chorus that everyone who questions the war is a traitor.

  18. OMG

    I would totally like not ever date this guy. He doesn’t even think we should be allowed to smoke pot. Like, whatever. And plus I heard he’s a virgin. Hahah! Totally! Like, look at that hairdo!

  19. . . . Greed Orthodox . . .

    Best. Typo. Ever.

    Isaac, the punchline to your story is that, after he wrote that piece, Vox Day of all people took Ben’s sad ass to school.

  20. his religiosity isn’t the issue. he’s a 22 year old virgin nerd, for zog’s sake! of course he sounds like an idiot.

  21. RPG – I think the haircut may be the first line of defense for his virginity

  22. Before clicking into this thread, I’d never heard of the little twerp.

    A cursory glance at his website tells me that he may not be getting laid, but he is a whore.

  23. I go to Hillsdale College, probably the most politically conservative school in addition to being notorious for strict social control. Guys like this don’t phase me; they’re a good majority of the population of Hillsdale. Ann Coulter and Reagan have been beatified by this population, and us libertarians (even though we’re a pretty signigicant group) get the same treatment as leftists. Ridiculous, but it’s an everyday thing here.

  24. BTW, there’s always an opportunity to read some good Virgin Ben mockery at World O’Crap.

  25. ?SO ALL religions eat dicks!?

    You’re right. Only JG eats dick.

    ๐Ÿ˜‰

  26. I think Reason Pillow Girl needs to become a permanent fixture of the Magazine. I’m thinking like the Playboy Femlin by Leroy Neiman. Maybe she can make happy/sad faces on the Balance Sheet page.

  27. We should actually be nice to the guy. Invite him to the next H&R gathering. Show him a good time. Loosen him up. Help him work up the courage to hit on a girl at the bar. I’ll chip in for his drinks and, if he needs them, condoms. Those of a more…commercial bent might want to encourage him to explore interstate commerce.

    Let’s make Ben Shapiro our project! Maybe if he just loosens up a little he’ll write some confessional column where he renounces his old ways and declares himself a fan of free minds, free markets, and free love.

    And if we convert him we’ll have earned our places in Libertarian Heaven.

  28. I believe the eating of dicks is forbidden in some religions…

  29. Neil,

    Keep the faith! I’m a libertarian Hillsdale Alum (graduated about 5 years ago). Things were a lot easier on us under George Roach (Roche?), but after Larry “Teddy Ruxbin” Arn took the helm I hear it’s been hell on libertarians and economists. Just push through and at the end of it you’ll have that sweet Hillsdale brand name.

  30. Incidentally, what did he say to set this whole thread in motion, anyway?

    Link?

    (too busy to search it out.)

  31. *smacks forehead*

    Nevermind…

  32. P.S. One need not be an easy livin’ type to be dedicated to liberty. I was a virgin until I turned 22 (at which point I got married) but I sure didn’t support locking up marijuana smokers. (Well, not after I took my first Econ class and read “The Law”.)

    Alright. You are now free to mock me.

  33. Let’s make Ben Shapiro our project! Maybe if he just loosens up a little he’ll write some confessional column where he renounces his old ways and declares himself a fan of free minds, free markets, and free love.

    Yeah, but then you’d have to hang out with the guy. Nobody wins when that happens. Well, except him.

    Anybody else read the “About Me” page? I didn’t realize it was possible to be *that* big a douchebag.

  34. Brought up in the home of two Reagan Republicans, where intelligent conversation about politics and philosophy was encouraged, Shapiro quickly developed into a reasoned political thinker and a powerful writer.

    See, if I wrote something like that about myself it would be the following:

    Brought up in a divorced home, where one of his parents didn’t seem to mind his eccentric personality, the poster known as thoreau spent his teen years as an annoying and uptight know-it-all.

  35. OMG Amy you are so totally right! He probably doesn’t even like girls!

  36. Jeff I just saw your post! Me, work for a magazine! That would be so great. I could redesign the cover and, you know, get more IMPORTANT stuff in there. How can anybody stand to look at all those words? What you need is some tasteful ads like Vogue or something, but with more class! Yah!

  37. Brought up in the home of two Reagan Republicans, where intelligent conversation about politics and philosophy was encouraged…

    i think the key word here in this young republican version of gangster rap is “conversation” which is completely different than being brought up in an atmosphere of intelligent political and philosophical debate. i’m willing to assume that any discussion of any non-republican viewpoint in this household was simply deemed “unintelligent”.

    i’m not much older than this fella (5-6 years), and i have to admit that i’m skeptical of anyone at even my age who just seems to have their whole political philosophy and worldview so completely worked out.

  38. Oh this is so exciting. I never thought I’d be able to get, you know, a “real” job after that unfortunate incident with the toner when I was an intern. But you know what, I’ve always wanted to be a designer. I draw really nice pictures, and I even thought about going to interior design school. Or hair design. I couldn’t decide. But this would be a dream come true? Can I have the job? Please? I’ll wear my bikini to work!

  39. Yeah, but then you’d have to hang out with the guy.

    Yeah, but if he turns into a fan of free minds and free love he’ll be cool to hang out with.

    RPG, would you be willing to help him loosen up? We’ll invite him to our next party, get him drunk, then you take him to your place. Once you have him alone at your place I don’t think he’ll inconvenience you for more than a couple minutes. After that he’ll fall asleep, and you can call some of us over to carry his drunk ass away so you don’t have to worry about him freaking out in the morning (or, even worse, wanting more!).

  40. Read his column on Economics For Girlie Men. He pegs the fact that minimum wage is a job killer. But the reason he says it is is priceless.

    New rule: No pundit is allowed to offer economic analysis without presenting creditials that s/he has taken introductory level courses in micro- and macro-economics.

  41. The reason is very simple: Businesses only have a certain amount of money they are willing to spend on jobs. If the wages for each job are increased by law (and not by the business’ own cost-benefit analysis), fewer jobs will be available. The current minimum wage in the state of California is $6.75 per hour ($1.50 above the federal minimum wage). If a business can afford 30 employees at $6.75 per hour, it can afford only 26 employees at the increased minimum wage. Four people will have lost their jobs.

    So, Shapiro thinks that demand for low-skill labor always has unitary elasticity. Um, whatever.

  42. thurreau, what do you think I am a hooker! Just because I MODEL BATHING SUITS doesn’t mean I’ll like, sleep with some pathetic virgin. I mean sure you could hire me to entertain him but that don’t mean I’ll SLEEP with him.

    Everyone always judges me by my looks.

  43. I know it’s mean, but I’m having fun with this guy. He’s totally a fish in a barrel, but it’s fun.

  44. He feels sinful if hi mind ever approaches sexual thoughts.
    Certainty is required by some minds, like BS’s

  45. RPG-

    I don’t think you’re a hooker. I just think you’re a nice person who would be interested in doing a good deed, and helping this guy loosen up would be a good deed.

  46. Well, I might consider it if you guys could get me that cool job at the magazine ๐Ÿ™‚

  47. You’re paying for the booze, right?

    Oh yeah and I’d have a threesome with that Jeff & Jennifer and you wouldn’t have to give me anything for it!

  48. 21 year-old virgin? Big deal. I was a 30-year old virgin when I got married to my 25-year old virgin wife – who had never even kissed a guy before. And we’re both secular libertarians. I’d never even jacked-off before, and I’m still not sure how you can do that without a naked person touching.

  49. helping this guy loosen up would be a good deed.

    Call it a mercy fuck.

  50. “I’d never even jacked-off before, “

    I’m quite certain I would spontaneously combust if I didn’t regularly make love to the person I most love in the whole world.

  51. Call it a mercy fuck.

    Bah! the insufferable little shitsack deserves no mercy.

  52. RPG-

    If Shapiro has valid ID then yes, I’ll pick up the bar tab.

  53. Well I still think he’s gay, but I’ll put on my bikini and we’ll see what happens. Who wants to take pictures?

  54. Smappy,

    Good to know there’s a Chillsdale alum on this board! Roche was definitely awesome… Larry Arnn has decimated the economics department (and there’s a rumour circulating that he wants to sell off the Mises library collection); there’s still a few Austrians left, but monetarists/supply-siders have been encroaching.

    I saw Dr. Roche at a dinner in Jackson in his honour a couple months ago. Still a badass.

  55. Phil

    It’s probably a stretch to claim credit for little Bennie’s article, but it did seem coincidental that it came out within a month of my email. Besides I feel so flattered to be noticed by such ab eminence in the neocon universe:)

    I’m not really that surprized that Vox Day takes him to task. The other guy who’s been riding him is Tom Knapp at freemarket.net. He links to Shapiro’s articles in a “look what the little prick is up to now” way.

    Vox Day’s article says many of the things I would say if I was a better writer.

  56. ab eminence should be an eminence

  57. I’d like to read the article or whatever where this guy actually put into black and white how the psychotically polarized “other side” (the normies/straights who espouse open season on mmj users) feels. Very interesting! Did he really say we users should be executed????? Oh…my…God! This guy should get into comedy!!!!!!

    What an ass.

    Just got a letter from Wally Herger, Congressman, Republican that praises the wonders of pharmaceuticals like oxycodone, hydrocodone, opioids of all shapes and colors as being a government “gift” of sorts…a modern revolution in pharmaceutical hell in my opinion. They hand that crap out like candy…and candy it becomes to our bodies and minds! Idiots!!!!

    Yeah, keep the People down w/legal drugs and brain-adjusting chemicals…let’s all do the zombie dance, huh?

    Nan

  58. Brought up in the home of two Reagan Republicans, where intelligent conversation about politics and philosophy was encouraged, Shapiro quickly developed into a reasoned political thinker and a powerful writer.

    Mine would look like: Timothy grew up in the home of an alcoholic housewife and an emotionally disengaged banker, both of whom pretty much left him to his own devices. In high school he found Jesus, and was a real prick there for awhile. Eventually mom sobered up, Tim figured out to related to his dad, he quit church & chilled the hell out in college.

  59. not to be a dick or anything, but isn’t going to a college dominated by conservatives pretty much the exact opposite of fun?

    why do that to yourself?

  60. dhex,

    maybe they were fooled.

    i remember being in high school thinking that a school named liberty university sounded like my kind of place!

    i’m glad i did a bit of research before wasting a long trip on a campus visit.

    yikes!


  61. Alright. You are now free to mock me.

    And that goes double, at least, for Mr. Ben.

  62. The Reason Pillow Girl is a deceitful tramp. She’ll pose in that bikini and say whatever it takes to make a buck. I saw her on an ad for an online dating site, and the pillow didn’t say “Reason” at all, it said “Be Mine.”

    I don’t remember the name of the site. It is for young, sexy singles so it isn’t very salient to me.

  63. “I don’t think you’re a hooker. I just think you’re a nice person who would be interested in doing a good deed, and helping this guy loosen up would be a good deed.”

    Jesus, Thoreau… If there’s such thing as pathological kindness, you’re the poster boy.

    What makes you think that all this kid needs to do is “get laid” or “get blown out” and he’ll suddenly be a libertarian? This kid will almost certainly forever be a shameless, hard-right drone. What he needs to do is get laid… the fuck out.

  64. For you fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000, B. S. looks like Rowsdower’s pre-pubescent teenage little buddy, Troy, in The Final Sacrifice, doesn’t he?

  65. The Reason Pillow Girl is a deceitful tramp. She’ll pose in that bikini and say whatever it takes to make a buck.

    I have a buck! Reason Pillow Girl, please contact me for a list of things I want you to say to me.

  66. andy – I agree. Cuffing his carrot in the presence of a hooker didn’t seem to mellow out Jimmy Swaggart.

  67. Oh yeah and I’d have a threesome with that Jeff & Jennifer and you wouldn’t have to give me anything for it!

    I can see why Jeff might like that, but what’s in it for me?

  68. I can see why Jeff might like that, but what’s in it for me?

    The pleasure of knowing that you’re contributing to the happiness of the person you love most in the whole wide world?

  69. People who smoke marijuana piss you off? WTF?

    How do you feel about people that drink liqueur? What about coffee? Do you have any strong feelings about people who eat saturated fats? I suppose people that vote Democratic should receive the death penalty?

    What a fucking asshole. People that advocate the prosecution of people just because they piss them off really piss me off. Therefore I support throwing them on the ash-heap of history.

  70. No response from Jennifer. Sorry, Jeff, it was worth a shot. I already cashed the check you sent me and I spent it. Sorry it didn’t work out.

    BTW, ritual kudos to Warren for post # 69.

  71. His initials are b.s. Ha!

  72. Has there ever been a person for whom the phrase “little shit” applies more aptly?

  73. Just when you think the neoconservatives couldn’t possibly produce a more irritating chickenshit twerp than Sean Hannity….

  74. So…uhhg…he’s a Jew. Right?

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