Boehner's Ark

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There's a new captain of the S.S. House Republicans. Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio), the hell-raisin', Sallie Mae-squeezin', tobacco check-repurposin' man from Porkopolis, has outflanked Missourian Roy Blunt to become House majority leader. Says commenter Pro Libertate: "Great, maybe he can hand out tobacco checks again."

Update: It turns out the House GOP conclave initially produced some black smoke. The first vote resulted in a wacky mixup wherein nobody was sure whether they had the correct number of ballots. Republican sources say the Puerto Ricans are to blame for the snafu, which resulted in the House majority leadership's being temporarily awarded to funnyman John Byner.

NEXT: "We Cannot let This Reprehensible Cartoon go Unanswered"

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  1. I liked this quote from the first link

    “Meanwhile, John continues to serve as Vice-Chairman of the House Agriculture Committee, on which he is a consistent free market voice for Ohio?s farmers and ranchers.”

    Maybe he is a voice for free markets on that comittee, but clearly not an effective one if thats the case because the US’s agricultural policy has nothing to do with free markets, and everything to do with keeping a key constituency happily rolling in pork.

  2. Honestly, this is a big, big mistake for the GOP. They could’ve won over a lot of moderates and even some Democrats by going with John Shadegg (who wrote a nice op-ed that’s worth a look. Yes, I mean right now). Instead, they showed that they think they’ll never lose to the Wacky Democrats?, no matter how corrupt the GOP looks. Wrong. How quickly the GOP forgot the lessons of 1994, huh? My bet is that they lose the House over the scandal(s) and their obvious indifference to it(them). Unless Captain Tobacco decides to really do something, which is technically possible, I guess.

  3. How wise was it for the republicns to elect a guy who’s name sounds like “Boner”?

  4. Can someone provide a guide on how pronounce this guy’s name?

  5. How wise was it for the republicns to elect a guy who’s name sounds like “Boner”?

  6. BAY-ner.

    But it’s funnier to say Congressman Boner.

  7. Isn’t it B-ay-ner? I’ve heard it before, but I can’t remember. We’ll hear it plenty soon enough, I’m sure.

  8. Never mind. His main website indicates his surname is pronounced “Bay-ner.”

  9. Oh God! The old newspaper comic strip, Boner’s Ark! I haven’t thought about that in years! This must be “Funny Papers Theme Day.”

  10. As far as funny names go, the Republicans were stuck with either ‘Boner’, ‘Blunt’ (no alteration necessary, you libertarian potheads), and ‘Shagged’.

    They were doomed from the start.

  11. My favorite story on this, from The Hill:

    Voting irregularities found in House leadership election

    House Republicans were forced to discard the results of their first ballot in the election for majority leader Thursday afternoon after members discovered an error in the number of ballots received compared to the number of members present in the room. . . .

    Republican leaders did not reveal the results of the initial vote, and members were forced to cast their ballots a second time.

  12. I hate to be a litmus test type, but he also voted for the federal marriage amendment, so that’s strike one right there; his dual votes for the flag burning amendment and flag burning act are strike two.

  13. kirk cameron obviously used his pull with christian republicans to get his best friend the majority leadership position.

  14. “Instead, they showed that they think they’ll never lose to the Wacky Democrats?, no matter how corrupt the GOP looks.”

    Well, they won’t. Not while me and my ilk are willing to shill^H^H^H^H^Hhonestly opine that the Democrats are Just As Bad*

    * (Actually Worse, But The Liberal Media Won’t Let Me Go That Far).

  15. Well, he has said (according to Instapundit) that McCain-Feingold should be repealed, that all legislation should be posted on-line 72 hours before its voted on, and that all legislation should identify the provision of the Constitution that give Congress the authority.

    Talk is cheap, of course, but those are all good ideas in my book.

  16. Actually, I think the Democrats are somewhat worse–they have too much of a tradition of corruption historically, and they still kick ass in corruption at the local level. Even so, it’s a close enough call that at least some voters are going to rebel against the arrogant and increasingly unaccountable GOP. Don’t worry, the GOP will surpass the Democrats in overall corruption soon enough 🙂

    We are in desperate need of divided government, and I think enough people will see that to vote that way in November.

  17. HEHEHE. Boehner. HEHE.

  18. Better a Boehner than a Blunt?

  19. Pro Libertate,
    Be careful who you say is more corrupt. Hell, the Republicans are having the dead vote in their own elections. Says here they got more votes than members present the first time around.

  20. That last statement was a joke, btw.

  21. Boehner sure smoked that Blunt.

  22. Between server-blocking technology and an intervening crash of my Firefox browser, I lost a post on Shadegg’s somewhat libertarian-like nature (which is why he lost, of course, constrained as he is by the First Law of Libertarian Robotics*). To sum up, he’s part of Ron Paul’s Liberty Committee, is a member of the Republican Liberty Caucus, and scored reasonably well on the RLC’s Liberty Index.

    *The Three Laws of Libertarian Robotics:
    1. A libertarian robot may not try to win an election, or through inaction, allow an election to be won by it.
    2. A libertarian robot must follow any principles laid out in The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged, or Libertarianism in One Lesson, except where such principles conflict with the First Law.
    3. A libertarian robot must protect its own drug stash, prostitution ring, and ferret farm as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

      Comment by: zirakzigil at January 31, 2006 10:51 AM

  23. A libertarian robot must protect its own drug stash, prostitution ring, and ferret farm as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

    Hey!! I ain’t no dirty ferret farmer!

  24. Finally, in Congressman Boner we have a House Majority Leader who understands that sex isn’t impeachable!

  25. Better a Boehner than a Blunt?

    Why do we have to choose? I think I’d prefer to have both a Boner and a Blunt.

    I would imagine that “Boehner” might be an anglicization of “B??hner. ” Which would be pronounced somewhat between boner, bayner, and benner?

    Heh heh, “B??ner” would make a good Spinal Tap type name…

  26. Uh, why the heck a “?” got attached to my o’s umlauts I have no idea.

  27. Actually, in modern german, it’d be pronounced more like “Ber-ner”, only without actually closing down on the “r”. Like you’d imagine some arch English aristocrat saying “Bernard”.

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