Who Will Be the Next Tom DeLay (and Will He Also Get His Hair Greased at JiffyLube)?

Former Reason intern and occasional contributor Jeremy Lott discusses the likely Tom DeLay replacements in the New York Press.

In Lott's read, Roy Blunt of Missouri (the "Warm Beer State") is the Tortoise, Ohio's John Boehner is the Hare, and Arizona's John Shadegg is the Square. All of America, needless to say, is the Loser.

Whole thing here.

Shot of Tom DeLay promiscuously parting hair on either side of scalp here.

Comments

[Kip]

Blunt, Bohner, and Shadegg. That's Awsome.

[downstater]

roy blunt, my goodness. but if you think the father is bad, well guess who's tanking in the "warm beer state."

[Shem]

Does one become the new Tom Delay for killing the old Tom Delay? Because that seems like it would violate the eighth amendment.

[Jason]

Shadegg is awesome; he comes from a district where his closest opponent each election is a libertarian.

[Randolph Carter]

if only Blunt, Bohner, and Shadegg were in power in the early '90s, we could have heard all about them in Tribe and Beastie Boys songs instead of Meschach, Shadrach, and Abednego.

[panurge]

I'll go out on a limb and say that Boehner wins. Shadegg has picked up some steam lately, actually convincing many GOP members that he'll reform the party and has the backing of many libertarian members, like Jeff Flake. But he won't be able to pick up enough votes to win.

Blunt may lose support since he has been unable to shake off his pork-barrel habits. He could lose just enough votes to Shadegg and Boehner to put Boehner over the top.

Remember, this is all done in secret ballot style. Boehner may pick up enough votes from GOP members who want to keep ties to lobbyists but reform the pork-barrel image.

[coarsetad]

"Shadegg is awesome; he comes from a district where his closest opponent each election is a libertarian"

Is that sarcasm? Seems like, if he's running against a libertarian, he might not hold very many libertarian values.

[Douglas Fletcher]

No, Tad, he's not joking, he's talking about Arizona.

[panurge]

I certainly wish this were a joke: Bob Ney is running for re-election.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/01/25/ney.re.election.ap/index.html

[Karen Cox]

Please accept the heartfelt apologies of the state of Texas for foisting the Exterminator from Hell on the nation. Very few of us actually voted for him; we can't help it if he was able to convince all those other Congressmen to vote for him.

[joshua corning]

Please accept the heartfelt apologies of the state of Texas for foisting the Exterminator from Hell on the nation.

shouldn't you be appologising for the democrats in your state...didn't all the dems leave the state to stop a vote a few years back? and now you have an off the reservation prosicuter.

jesus christ you lost get over it...and I don't know, look at how to change your party to reflect the voters.

[joe]

Being embarrased of Tom Delay is a reason for scorn?

Making trouble for Tom Delay's power grabs is something people should be condemned for?

You have some screwed up priorities, joshua.

[thoreau]

As a M'waukee native (what, you didn't hear me say the L? I clearly said the L. It's not my fault that you can't hear it) I'd like to apologize for Sensenbrenner. All I can figure out is that the people in his district must be high when they vote. My family and friends would never vote for him, you betcha.

[joe]

Ha ha!

You-ah prounuciation of Milwaukee is wicked quee-ah!

[thoreau]

The "L" in Miwaukee is pronounced in the back of the throat, and very quickly. We Miwaukeeans can hear it just fine, but nobody else can.

[joe]

Does anyone else remember when the Republicans were putting out the spin that Democrats kept mentioning Delay's career as an exterminator because they are snobs who look down on working people?

Anyone see the recent statement by a White House aid denying that Bush and Delay were ever close? He actually says that Delay is "blue collar," and "not someone you go on vacation with."