Fuzzbuster for Your Tub

Jeff Tucker evades the government's shower regulations.

Comments

[Jennifer]

Did anybody see the "King of the Hill" episode where the city mandated low-water toilets, and it turned out that they needed to be flushed so much more often than regular toilets that they ended up wasting water? I think something similar is at work with shower heads--a few months ago I stayed in a hotel which had a lot more water pressure than in my shower at home, and I was amazed by how little time it took for me to rinse all the shampoo and conditioner out of my hair.

My at-home low-flow shower probably wastes more water than that high-pressure hotel shower head, because I have to spend so much extra time rinsing my hair clean.

Could be worse--the way things are going, I won't be surprised if they start mandating how many showers you can take in a week, and how long each shower can last.

[Rover Random]

He's a dirty communist, a subversive force in our war on terror.

He kicks ass and I like his snarky writing. Hear hear!

[David]

Could be worse--the way things are going, I won't be surprised if they start mandating how many showers you can take in a week, and how long each shower can last.

Then they'll need to find ways to trick people into exceeding their cleanliness quota. Like paying informants that squirt people with oil and mud, then run to the Water Police to report unauthorized lathering and rinsing.

[joe]

I don't know about California, but I bought a fully-compliant cheapo shower head at Home Depot that produces the best showers of my life. I bought another one when I moved, just because I liked it so much.

Like the people who insist that the bigger, heavier cars of the 1960s were safer, Tucker assumes that brute force is the only variable that matters, when the important factor is design.

[Lost_In_Translation]

Man, I love those old style showers. I don't understand use of water in the shower though because don't the sewer systems return to water sanitation tanks of most cities?

[thoreau]

From http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheShowerhead.htm

Kramer, Newman and a 'salesman' are at the back of a van in an alley.

Salesman: All right, I got everything here. I got the Cyclone F series, Hydra

Jet Flow, Stockholm Superstream, you name it.

Jerry: What do you recommend?

Salesman: What are you looking for?

Kramer: Power, man. Power.

Newman: Like Silkwood.

Kramer: That's for radiation.

Newman: That's right.

Kramer (pointing to the largest one): Now, what is this?

Salesman: That's the Commando 450, I don't sell that one. What about thi-

Kramer: Well that's what we want, the Commando 450.

Salesman, Nah, believe me. It's only used in the circus. For elephants.

Newman: We'll pay anything. We've got the (hands a wad of money to Kramer)

What about Jerry?

Kramer: He couldn't handle that, he's delicate.

[Jennifer]

Like the people who insist that the bigger, heavier cars of the 1960s were safer, Tucker assumes that brute force is the only variable that matters, when the important factor is design.

When I'm trying to rinse shampoo suds or conditioning treatments out of a thick mass of long, wet hair, it's not brute force that matters--it's the sheer amount of water running through my hair. These new shower heads are like switching from a garden hose to an eyedropper.

[Gimme Back My Dog]

Lemme see if I have this straight. An article about overbearing government regulation and joe completely misses the point? Has this ever happened before?

[differentphil]

This seems like a lot of work. A few years ago we bought a new shower head at Lowes, and it had a clearly labeled removable flow restriction washer in it. The directions said that it was removable so that it could periodically be cleaned, and it said not to remove it or the shower would have a higher than legal flow rate. I love clear directions like that on how to follow the law.

[Akira MacKenzie]

I must truly be a shower criminal since I have one of those Waterpick showerheads that are 8" in diameter.

I feel sooooo naughty.

[David]

I feel sooooo naughty.

Why? Where are you putting that showerhead?

[Jennifer]

I wonder what the Founders would say if you told them that one day the United States Government would pass laws concerning how people bathe?

[Jeff P.]

must...resist...golden...shower...joke...

[Akira MacKenzie]

Could be worse--the way things are going, I won't be surprised if they start mandating how many showers you can take in a week, and how long each shower can last.

If that happens then environmentalists will have succeeded in their goal to make the Americans smell more like Europeans...

[Ducks!]

[Akira MacKenzie]

Why? Where are you putting that showerhead?

Wouldn't you like to know? 😉

I bought the showerhead after a friend of mine gave it a glowing review. He said that he and his financee finally got to enjoy an intimate shower together without having to fight over who gets to stand under the stream during coitus.

Sigh...

[Akira MacKenzie]

Edit: fiancee

[downstater]

well if we all kept our hair short in accordance with the appropriate ideological spirit, we wouldn't be having these problems.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4157121.stm

[Crushinator]

Eventually it will be a badge of honor and patriotism if you go around reeking of body odor. Dirty fingernails and unwashed clothes will become chic. Libertarians will be jailed for treasonous hygiene.

[David]

Wouldn't you like to know? 😉

No, I think I'd prefer to stay ignorant on that one.

But I would like to know, what does a gamer need with a shower for two? 🙂

[keith]

My smuggling empire just keeps expanding. first, it was just running cheap sex toys from New York down to Alabama, where they're legal, and bringing cheap cigarettes back with me from Alabama up to New York. Now I can start smuggling shower heads, too. The government truly is the criminal's best friend.

[Umbriel]

I'm a Speakman fan myself...
http://www.speakmancompany.com/shower.php
... their flow-restricting washers pop out quite nicely.

[Jennifer]

By the way, since it now takes longer for me to get the minimum amount of water I need to rinse out my hair, that means in the winter I have to spend that much extra time with the bathroom heater on.

That's government for you--forcing me to use more electricity in the name of conservation.

[wellfellow]

"I bought a fully-compliant cheapo shower head at Home Depot that produces the best showers of my life"

...of course.

[thoreau]

joe-

What kind of shower head is it? Brand? Model name? Cost?

If it's cheap, I might test it out.

About 4 years ago, when I shared an apartment with another grad student, he got tired of the low flow shower head and got a new one that worked pretty well. Supposedly he went to Home Depot for it. Maybe he modified it. I never found out for sure. He just said one day "I put in a new shower head. The old one sucked." I was busy with other stuff and didn't ask for details. I just appreciated the new one.

So I'm willing to believe that joe might be right here. Gimme the details and I'll get in my car, go to the nearest Big Box retailer, and test it out.

[theOneState]

Akira, your correction totally ruined the story.

[theOneState]

joe might be right, but I've tried several, expensive and cheap, in my past 3 residences. None have worked very well. Part of the problem is water pressure...pre-regulation heads were more responsive to low water pressure. If your pressure is okay, you might be able to find a regulated head that works.

Like differentphil, I had an old head years ago which had a flow control you could remove if your water pressure was low. That worked.

Which is kind of the point...this particular regulation doesn't fit the problem and shows no regard for need/preference. It's top-down rationing without the bargaining that might lead to more appropriate outcomes.

[Jennifer]

Which is kind of the point...this particular regulation doesn't fit the problem and shows no regard for need/preference. It's top-down rationing without the bargaining that might lead to more appropriate outcomes.

Exactly. Even assuming there is a water shortage so severe that the government needs to start regulating how much water people use to wash themselves, why not give people a choice? Maybe Person A would like to take a high-pressure shower every other day, while Person B takes a low-pressure shower on a daily basis.

Better yet, if water gets scarcer then the price of it will go up, and people will voluntarily use less so that they can save money.

[Kevin]

Thoreau:

Don't know what joe has, but Lowe's sells these little metal dealies that are dirt cheap and completely rock. I think I paid six bucks for the thing, and wouldn't trade it for any other, except maybe that black market elephant washer that Kramer bought.

[thoreau]

if water gets scarcer then the price of it will go up, and people will voluntarily use less so that they can save money

And if water becomes so scarce that daily bathing is an unaffordable luxury, we can call it Peak Odor.

[Jennifer]

And if water becomes so scarce that daily bathing is an unaffordable luxury, we can call it Peak Odor.

No, that implies that Odor has now reached the maximum and will henceforth decline. No such luck, I fear.

Maybe the government will require everybody to spray themselves with Lysol, thus deadening people's sense of smell so that nobody will notice how badly they stink.

[thoreau]

Kevin-

Do you remember what it's called? Lowes sells stuff online, maybe I won't bother with the trek to Lowes.

Jennifer-

Fine, ruin my joke.

[Timothy]

Maybe the government will require everybody to spray themselves with Lysol, thus deadening people's sense of smell so that nobody will notice how badly they stink.

If I wanted to move to France I'd do it, this hypothetical Lysol requirement makes me fear for our future.

[Jennifer]

Thoreau--

Peak Bath Oil.

[ralphus]

thoreau

The genius of the Seinfeld back-alley showerhead purchase was that it was a spot on parody of Taxi Driver.

Jeff P

Resist the golden shower joke if you can, but with my lousy, low-flow head my morning shower feels more like I'm staring in an R-Kelly bootleg.

[Wild Pegasus]

When I'm trying to rinse shampoo suds or conditioning treatments out of a thick mass of long, wet hair...

Speaking of showers, I need a cold one.

- Josh, thanks i'll be here all week

[bubba]

Conroe, TX had a brilliant idea to reduce subsidence from overpumping of water. All of our ponds/lakes are artificial and many are fed by wells. Many of these well-fed ponds are "decorative" in nature, to improve the appearance of new housing developments, golf courses, etc.

The idea was to tax large wells to reduce the amount of water pumped out of the aquifer, etc. This is a rural area, with lots of homes fed by wells, so they naturally exempted wells below a certain size. At the end of the day, the primary taxation fell on the city water utility wells, which feed the city proper. This tax was designed to discourage wasteful water use by developers and instead it falls largely on the urban (poorer) population.

Hooray for government.

I'm happy with my shower head, until it gets clogged with minerals. Maybe the water restrictor "fell out" when the builder installed it.

[Timothy]

I've been considering getting one of those filtration showerheads to cut down on the hard water problem here, anybody have one of those? I can't very well install a softener in my apartment.

[bubba]

The Conroe example does show why you can't rely entirely on the market for distributing every finite resource. There have been wars fought over water rights. It doesn't all belong to the person farthest upstream.

If I pump out all the water, and Houston sinks into a giant hole...[insert joke here]

[Jennifer]

Speaking of showers, I need a cold one.

Despite what shampoo commercials and Playboy articles would have you believe, there's nothing particularly sexy about a woman who is taking a shower. For example, did you know that the average woman does NOT wear full makeup whilst bathing? It's true! Also, soap suds don't roll down a woman's face in the exact right position to enhace her cheekbones--they just go all over the damned place.

[bubba]

My water does not test as "hard" but it sure leaves behind a lot of minerals. Must be "soft" minerals. These minerals are not impacted by the filters I use in my fridge. Water softeners just exchange one salt for another. So, I'm not sure a filter is going to solve your problem.

[Jennifer]

"enhace" = "enhance"

[Number 6]

This just proves that there is no hope for a revolution. If people will tolerate this petty, intrusive bullshit, they will tolerate anything. BTW-my last apartment had a real showerhead. I took it with me when I moved, and I'm willing to kill to protect it.

[Timothy]

Despite what shampoo commercials and Playboy articles would have you believe, there's nothing particularly sexy about a woman who is taking a shower.

Jennifer: I dunno, a naked woman covered in water is pretty sexy, regardless of soap bubble cheek bone enhancement or makeup.

bubba: Looks like I'm just going to have to run some CLR through my showerhead every so often and resign myself to replacing my shower curtain liner every six months. Why is water in Texas so inferior to water in Oregon?

[Number 6]

Despite what shampoo commercials and Playboy articles would have you believe, there's nothing particularly sexy about a woman who is taking a shower

I disagree.

[Pro Libertate]

Well, I can't believe I'm the first to say that if the government wants to mandate the amount of water I can get via my shower head, then I will simply eschew the shower for the bath. Ah, libertarian defiance never felt so good. And so squeaky clean. Who knew the next revolution would be led by Mr. Bubble?

Jennifer, you're dead wrong about women in the shower. I can understand you not understanding that from your perspective, but I have a whole different one. To begin with, men are happy any time a women is naked. Add "wet" to "naked", and, well, we can miss the first half of any football game for that experience. Aesthetic topics are so enriching, don't you agree?

[Timothy]

Add "wet" to "naked", and, well, we can miss the first half of any football game for that experience.

First half nothing, whole thing plus the post game, really.

[Pro Libertate]

Make that aesthetical topics.

[tobycat]

If the government had regulated showers in 1960 Alfred Hitchock wouldn't have had much fun with Janet Leigh.

[smacky]

Could be worse--the way things are going, I won't be surprised if they start mandating how many showers you can take in a week, and how long each shower can last.

That's a bunch of bullshit. One of the reasons I specifically left my parents' house for good was so that I can take "hotel showers" every damn day. In fact, I could do without the length of them -- who really wants to spend more time cleaning themselves? Perhaps I, too, should look into getting a high-powered shower head. It really is a pain in the ass to try to wash shampoo and conditioner out of long hair with a weak water flow.

Eventually it will be a badge of honor and patriotism if you go around reeking of body odor. Dirty fingernails and unwashed clothes will become chic.

Haven't you ever heard of hippies?

[Jennifer]

It really is a pain in the ass to try to wash shampoo and conditioner out of long hair with a weak water flow.

Indeed it is.

[Michael A. Clem]

I think that Joe's point is that a reg like this isn't really that much of a burden. However, it's just one of many such irritating regulations. Which one will be the straw that breaks the camel's back? Furthermore, if government regulation makes things worse, then the politicos will respond with even more drastic regulations, a vicious cycle.

[Jennifer]

I think that Joe's point is that a reg like this isn't really that much of a burden.

That depends on who you ask. If I had a short, "manly" haircut, maybe I wouldn't even notice. But when I shower at home, versus when I shower in a hotel (and how DO they get around the water-pressure regulations, anyway?), I have to spend a lot more time to reach the same level of cleanliness.

[mediageek]

Yet another example of "the government has made it a crime to do something inocuous, so now it's a revolutionary act to defy them."

[smacky]

Jennifer's absolutely right. I may have never noticed such a difference as a child either because 1.) I had a boy haircut or 2.) I didn't care if I was actually clean after I showered.
However, with long hair the difference in water pressure is really noticeable. It's especially bad when the water goes cold before all the shampoo and conditioner are washed out of my hair, and my hair feels grimy afterward because of the residue left there.
I agree that it should be a pricing issue, not regulatory. If water is so high in demand, the prices should rise. It's my right to waste as much water as I want if I am paying for it (or alternately, if my landlord pays for it).

[smacky]

Next up: regulating baby pools. On which particuarly hot days of the summer will government officials agree to allow its citizens to fill up their baby pools? I'm on the edge of my seat.

[Robert]

I'm reminded of Frank Schwartz's idea, the Soap Control Agency, which he satirically forecast as coming if the desires of some controllers to ban bath foams were heeded, as described at:

http://www.bestweb.net/~robgood/suds/origin.html#motive

Frank's a pretty good satirist, and imagined what would happen after the first step (banning bath foams, for health reasons), because of the substitutes people would resort to for themselves or their children. All detergents would have to be low sudsing, with anti-foams added even if they made the products more harmful to skin & eyes, then water would have to be "hardened", then bathtubs would be banned, etc.

[Mr. Nice Guy]

A bathing beauty is one of the top 10 coolest things ever. And it's pretty handy if she's tall, too. Makes it much easier to..um..

[NoStar]

Jennifer,
As one who readily came running when a wife asked for her back to be washed, I can tell you that you are wrong: A wet woman is a beautiful woman.

Sorry if it bothers you but until I can get home and take a cold shower I will be thinking of you taking your own shower removing the conditioner from your gorgeous red hair.

NoStar

PS: In case this post violates that new law making use of anonymous posts that annoy, please be aware that my real name has been mentioned on H&R numerous times and is available upon request at [e-mail].

[Timothy]

MNG: There's a reason I have one of these.

[Number 6]

Being forced to take a shower that feels as though I'm being spit upon is not a minor burden. When the government makes it impossible to clean my body (and difficult to clean my military-short hair) they have gone too fucking far.

[Jennifer]

Sorry if it bothers you but until I can get home and take a cold shower I will be thinking of you taking your own shower removing the conditioner from your gorgeous red hair.

Well, here, let me give you the soundtrack for me, as I sing in the shower and simultaneously detangle the snarls from my hair (the curlier the hair, the more snarls):

she signed the letter OUCH! all yours, babushka babushka bab OW! ushka yi-yi she wanted to take it GODDAMMIT THIS HURTS! further, so she arranged a place FUCK! to go to see if he would JEFF BRING ME THE GODDAMNED SCISSORS! fall for her incognito I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT! and when their eyes met he had the feeling they had met before SINEAD O'CONNOR WAS RIGHT uncanny how she reminds OW him of his little lady. . .

So now that you know the truth, you won't be needing that cold shower after all.

[Robert-storylink]

This should work to give 1-click access to the story without gumming up my usual contact info.

[smacky]

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who sings Kate Bush in the shower. You have good taste, Jennifer. 🙂

[Jennifer]

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who sings Kate Bush in the shower. You have good taste, Jennifer. 🙂

Thanks to the bullshit low-water regulations, I stay in the shower long enough to go through an entire damned album.

[smacky]

Thanks to the bullshit low-water regulations, I stay in the shower long enough to go through an entire damned album.

Hounds of Love, I hope.

[joe]

I actually had shoulder length hair when we got the cheapo, plastic Home Depot shower head. I'll see if I can find a brand name or something when I get home.

[Jennifer]

I don't remember who first said this, but how many little inconveniences do we have to suffer before life becomes one big inconvenience?

[mac]

OK, wiseguys. Maybe or maybe not showerhead restriction is a good idea. (And jennifer, it only seems like you're using more water. Most of the time in the bath you are not rinsing your hair, even if it takes longer now.)

But: what exactly do you propose instead, in places like Arizona where the aquifer is draining detectibly every year, or in places like Seattle, where the snowpack is getting smaller, and there aren't any reservoirs? Yes, you can charge a bigger premium for water consumption past some average household use. But what about private wells, which genuinely do "steal" water from their neighbors? I am genuinely interested in a libertarian view on a finite natural resource like Aquifer water. It's not adding to GDP to use it up; you are just stealing from your children.

Snark about minor issues like showerheads isn't going to convince anyone but the people already drinking your particular flavor of koolaid.

[Stevo Darkly]

But I would like to know, what does a gamer need with a shower for two? 🙂

Hey ... "Be prepared." It is better to have and not need, than to need and not have.

This philosophy explains most of the things I keep in car's trunk. And much of what I have in my closets. In fact, it pretty much explains why I have a bedroom, since most of my actual sleeping is done on the sofa.

By the way, add my vote to those who appreciate a woman in the shower, no matter where the suds are.

[Qbryzan]

I am genuinely interested in a libertarian view on a finite natural resource like Aquifer water. It's not adding to GDP to use it up; you are just stealing from your children.

I would think charging for use would pretty much cover it. If the aquifer is depleted, are you going to abandon the area completely, or will you just bring in more water at higher expense?

[NoStar]

Heh, heh, heh, You said "Bush."
Now I'm doing Beavis?! Truly I have sunk into a pubescent mind set.

Sorry Jennifer, the fantasy lives.

But I do have a tool that can ream out that
flow restricted nozzle.

No need to thank me, I'm always ready to help a damsel in distress especially a wet damsel.

[Johnny Clarke]

Great. Next, Jennifer is going to tell us that women don't shower in slow motion with a lot of overhead arm movements.

[Timothy]

Where property rights can be definied, bargaining solutions are possible. I can always negotiate a contract for well useage with my neighbor, for instance. If it's a big enough problem, such that water is hard to sell rights to, I wouldn't be all that averse to restrictions on private well drilling PROVIDED that the government (read other tax payers demanding a landowner not use his/her property in a certain manner) imposing such paid for the property owner to be hooked up to the system.

In the Seattle example if prices go high enough people will either use less water or move. One could also, presumably, build desalinization plants on the sound someplace. Oh, what, that's an eyesore? Do you want water or not, Seattle? Christ.

As for Arizona: it's the desert. It's dry in the desert.

And, mac, when we talk about letting prices for water move we don't mean some premium above X, we mean charge on a per gallon basis and let demand drive the price up as the resource gets scarecer. But then, of course, people will complain about the "high cost of bathing a family" or whatever the fuck.

[Jennifer]

Great. Next, Jennifer is going to tell us that women don't shower in slow motion with a lot of overhead arm movements.

We don't shower under sexy soft-focus lenses, either.

The truth hurts, boys, but it will set you free.

[Jennifer]

In the Seattle example if prices go high enough people will either use less water or move

Considering how much rain Seattle gets, I find it highly unlikely that they're suffering from a legitimate water shortage.

[Dr. Evil]

I don't know about California, but I bought a fully-compliant cheapo shower head at Home Depot that produces the best showers of my life. I bought another one when I moved, just because I liked it so much.

And at the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum -- it's quite breathtaking ... I suggest you try it.

[Kevin]

Thoreau:

All I know is that Lowe's sells those little showerheads (no bigger than your thumb) loose with no outside packaging. I searched their website with no luck.

[Pro Libertate]

Mac, a lot of water waste can be attributed to the fact that its price isn't even remotely market-driven. In fact, the lack of a free market in water could help delay developments that would give us alternative water supplies (e.g., desalination, importing water from water-rich areas to water-poor ones, snagging icebergs, mining comets, whatever). In addition, if water prices were as high as they should be in, say, the desert, then maybe people wouldn't move to such places so readily.

Regulations that have little science or logic behind them (one of the big arguments here is whether we don't end up using more water with lower pressure shower heads) are no answer. Of course, having a free market in water doesn't solve the problem if we waste all of the easily available water, so some regulation seems reasonable--so long as it's narrowly tailored to deal with specific, local issues.

[Timothy]

Considering how much rain Seattle gets, I find it highly unlikely that they're suffering from a legitimate water shortage.

Maybe, but Seattle at SEA-TAC had 38 inches in 2005. Dallas, TX had 33.7 according to this site. In Dallas they have an aquifer, in Seattle it mostly runs into the sound.

[Stevo Darkly]

Great. Next, Jennifer is going to tell us that women don't shower in slow motion with a lot of overhead arm movements.

Yeah... or that any all-female gathering of three or more doesn't automatically devolve into a lingerie-clad pillow-fight and tickling free-for-all.

[theOneState]

mac, even if you can't get as far as Pro Libertate and Qbryzan suggest, don't you think there's something odious about the government saying, we need to reduce water use in some locations, so we're going to force manufacturers to "restrict maximum water flow at or below 2.5 gallons per minute (gpm) at 80 pounds per square inch (psi) of water pressure or 2.2 gpm at 60 psi". I mean, that's just dumb.

You can attack the problem other ways, like by offering tax breaks on water-saving devices etc, by establishing water quotas (which may be bought and sold), etc.

Local governments could also price water (if they control it) such that if your household use exceeds certain levels, you start paying stiff premiums.

All of these interfere but are more palatable to non-libertarian types than the radical idea of charging market prices.

There are LOTS of ways to encourage water conservation that lie somewhere between an fully unregulated free-market system and restricting the flow of water through every single showerhead manufactured in America.

(Maybe joe bought a Chinese shower head?)

[Timothy]

Of course, having a free market in water doesn't solve the problem if we waste all of the easily available water, so some regulation seems reasonable--so long as it's narrowly tailored to deal with specific, local issues.

When it would get dry/droughty in Portland there were restrictions on lawn watering that were enforced with extreme prejudice.

[Jennifer]

Stevo, Johnny--we also don't seduce plumbers or pizza delivery boys as frequently as the movies would lead you to believe.

As to the original topic, there are certainly some discrete situations where water-regulation rules might be necessary (as in the previous example of "no lawn-watering during a drought); the problem comes with a permanent one-size-fits-all approach. People living in the desert states of Nevada or Arizona might have to face some restrictions on water that are unnecessary for those of us living in New England during the rainy season. If Seattle has no water-storage capacity, they need to build a reservoir rather than expect people in Florida to install low-flow shower heads. And so forth.

[smacky]

Lookin' for a fight one day, I decided to pick nits:

(the curlier the hair, the more snarls)

Or likewise, the finer the hair. My hair is (I will argue from an unprovable standpoint) as difficult to untangle as virtually any curly-haired person's. It is an absolute nightmare to hairdressers all over the world. I'd say it's similarly nightmarish for me, but most of the time I just let the knots sleep in peace. Whereas when I pay a hairdresser, I *will not move from their chair* until they get all of the knots out. Just the other day I got my hair cut, and the hairstylist tried to stall and get me to detangle my own hair. I just snarked at her when she suggested, "I'll be right back...why don't you try to brush your hair out for a few minutes?"

There is a reason why my mother forced me to get boy haircuts as a young child, and that reason is my unmanageable, chronic knots. I would grow dreads, but my hair is too fine for dreads. Therefore, if I let my hair go unkempt long enough, I am only rewarded with the fabled "rat's nest".

[Pro Libertate]

Timothy, we have had the same kind of restrictions here (you'd think we'd have extra water with all of the hurricanes). I remember back when the water management bureaucrats got particularly oppressive, one of the local papers pointed out that exempt industrial concerns were using water way beyond that being used by consumers. Once again, government regulation screws the little guy in favor of the big guy.

[Jennifer]

Smacky--my hair is curly and fine, which is the worst possible combination. But the secret to unsnarling is lots and lots of conditioner. I buy two bottles of conditioner for every one bottle of shampoo.

[smacky]

I buy two bottles of conditioner for every one bottle of shampoo.

Jennifer,

Me, too.

I can also see how the added effect of curly would complicate things for you.

[thoreau]

mac-

That's a genuinely good question. The aquifer crosses property lines. I'm sure other people have put a lot of thought into this. I tried thinking about it after reading your post, but every approach that I came up with was economically inefficient. Leaving aside libertarian ideological concerns, it was hard to come up with scenarios where people don't have big incentives to dump costs onto others (negative externalities) and easy ways of doing so. Basically, from the standpoint of economic efficiency, that means that marginal costs were not equal to marginal benefits.

I'm sure somebody else has put thought into aquifers and ways to manage them with markets, or at least very minimal intervention.

Anybody care to distill those findings for us? I could always read a book, but I have a pile of things to read already.

[Randolph Carter]

Jennifer & Smacky,
My hair is spun from a radioactive alien polymer, and requires over 2000 gallons of water and an industrial cooling system to wash. So stop complaining.

[Stevo Darkly]

Stevo, Johnny--we also don't seduce plumbers or pizza delivery boys as frequently as the movies would lead you to believe.

Oh, we know that -- it's the cable TV guys and UPS deliverymen who get all the action.

OT, but this just reminded of something. A few years back, there was a video clip on the Web called "Reach and Frequency." Created by the now-defunct ad agency Elvis & Bonaparte, it was a parody of a 1970s porno flick set in ... an ad agency.

The scene I just thought of has a shirtless delivery guy making a delivery to the very hot (but airheaded) agency receptionist. He is holding a large elongated box that appears to be coming out of his crotch. Imagine the most most stilted dialogue delivery possible:

HE: Ma'am, I have a package for you?

SHE (reading a magasine): Just put in on the counter... (pause to recall lines) ...over there.

HE: But ma'am, my package requires a signature.

SHE (looking up and noticing the size, shape and position of the box with blooming delight) Heyyyy ... you're not the delivery guyyyy!

HE: No ma'am. I am not.
-------------------

Other choice lines of dialogue:

Tough but hot female account executive: "Our competition is very stiff. I'm going to maximum penetration on this full page spread."

and:

Hot airhead female graphic designer: "Heyyy! What does it take for a girl to get something mounted ... (pause to recall lines) ...around here?"

Alas, the clip no longer seems to be available on the WWW. This is the only reference I could find. (Its link to "reachfrequency.com" is dead.)

[Zoidburg]

don't remember who first said this, but how many little inconveniences do we have to suffer before life becomes one big inconvenience?

Jennifer, you may be looking for this:
"No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny: the officious demands of policemen, government clerks, and electromechanical gadgets."
Edward Abbey
(from http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html)

[Jennifer]

Zoidburg, that's a good quote but the one I'm thinking of actually contained the words "convenience" and "inconvenience."

[Darkly]

"I'm going to need maximum penetration ..."

[Lost_In_Translation]

No one has explained what happens to water after it enters the sewer and why it cannot be recycled. This is water after all and it doesn't just disappear after rinsing you off.

[Jamie Kelly]

Seems to me, if the gub'mint is so interested in limiting the amount of water we use when we scrub our asses, the real thing they should go after is the hot water heater. Those fuckers hold up to 180 gallons of water! Goddamn waste! We should also all receive government-issued washboards and tubs. In fashionable gray, of course.

[Pro Libertate]

You know, you could just recycle all water on a household level. If you're really serious about preserving the water supply, that is.

[JD]

There's also this one, although I don't think this is what Jennifer was thinking of:

"To be GOVERNED is to be watched, inspected, spied upon, directed, law-driven,
numbered, regulated, enrolled, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, checked,
estimated, valued, censured, commanded, by creatures who have neither the right
nor the wisdom nor the virtue to do so. To be GOVERNED is to be at every
operation, at every transaction noted, registered, counted, taxed, stamped,
measured, numbered, assessed, licensed, authorized, admonished, prevented,
forbidden, reformed, corrected, punished. It is, under pretext of public
utility, and in the name of the general interest, to be placed under
contribution, drilled, fleeced, exploited, monopolized, extorted from,
squeezed, hoaxed, robbed; then, at the slightest resistance, the first word of
complaint, to be repressed, fined, vilified, harassed, hunted down, abused,
clubbed, disarmed, bound, choked, imprisoned, judged, condemned, shot,
deported, sacrificed, sold, betrayed; and to crown all, mocked, ridiculed,
derided, outraged, dishonored. That is government; that is its justice; that
is its morality."
-- Pierre-Joseph Proudhon,
"General Idea of the Revolution in the Nineteenth Century"

[Akira MacKenzie]

But I would like to know, what does a gamer need with a shower for two? 🙂

Have you seen most gamers? A shower for two is the minimum recommended size! I mean, look at me and my fat ass and tell me I don't need a an olympic sized swimming pool to bathe in.

Of course, there's always the stereotype that gamers don't bathe, and yes, I've met a couple who seem to have an aversion to soap. At a GenCon a couple of years back, I was talked into trying this overly complex space combat game and one of the players just reeked! I had to fake a migraine headache and leave the game just to get away from the guy.

[Jennifer]

More than ever, I am glad that I have almost no sense of smell. The world stinks.

[Hairy Kerry]

We don't shower under sexy soft-focus lenses, either.

You don't have to, my glasses would steam up providing the same effect.

[Timothy]

Comment 100! Booyah!

Also, it's good to have a good sense of smell...much of the world stinks but much of the rest of it is grand.

[Isaac Bartram]

Timothy, we have had the same kind of restrictions here (you'd think we'd have extra water with all of the hurricanes).

I understand that the water that falls on Central Florida flows South and recharges the South Florida Aquifer. The water to recharge Central Fla falls in Georgia.

The St Johns River Water Management District has us restricted to watering lawns and gardens twice a week. Days depend on which side of the street you live.

No one has explained what happens to water after it enters the sewer and why it cannot be recycled. This is water after all and it doesn't just disappear after rinsing you off.

Altamonte Springs and Sanford, FL recycle treated wastewater for irrigation. There is a second distribution system especially for the purpose. If you google "recycling water" you will see that communities across the country do the same.

[smacky]

Have you seen most gamers? A shower for two is the minimum recommended size! I mean, look at me and my fat ass and tell me I don't need a an olympic sized swimming pool to bathe in.

Geez, Akira, and I thought I was a harsh critic of myself. You need to simmer down.

By the way, Timothy, you're comment #101, not 100. So close, yet...

Besides, any comment # ending in "69" is the prize comment around here. You oughta know that by now.

[mediageek]

Akira, dude, you look kinda like Wash from Firefly

[mediageek]

BTW, I still have not figured out how you know what number a post is. Unless it just comes from seeing the post count on the main page, and incrementing by one when you post.

Seems like too much number crunching for me.

[Timothy]

Smacky: Yes, I was posting at the same time as that usurper. Damnable usurpers!

[April]

Oh, fer cryin' out loud.

I am in complete agreement that low-flow should not be a *requirement,* but I sure do want them to be available to me.

1. Because I'm a tightwad, and I like to save money on my water bill for my four-person shower-lovin' household.

2. Because I have hair to my waist, and I like the PRESSURE I get from my low-flow. Forcing the water through a smaller head increases the pressure. More water doesn't satisfy me if it isn't comin' at me hard. Heh. I said hard.

Seems like every home I've lived in for the last six years has suffered from low water pressure (community problem?), and every time I move I take my shower head with me. It's a WaterPik with a multiple-setting massaging head and a bendy arm that accommodates varying heights of individuals in my household. Best $35 bucks I ever spent on a hardware item.

[Akira MacKenzie]

Akira, dude, you look kinda like Wash from Firefly.

Yeah... I'm a hippo on the wind. Watch how I plummet.

[Timothy]

Mediageek: That's what I did, and apparently #100 was posted while I was typing. Sons of bitch!

Or maybe I can't read, one can never tell for sure.

[Sam]

Akira,
all conventions are like that, especially GenCon.

Anyway, I imagine these:
http://www.airwatercorp.com/
might help...at least until they are made illegal by environazis for some reason...or by beaurocrats who like their water revenue.

[Akira MacKenzie]

Geez, Akira, and I thought I was a harsh critic of myself. You need to simmer down.

Well, when just about everyone from high school to now points out that you're overweight and not very good looking, you begin to wonder if they just might be right.

[keith]

Great. Next, Jennifer is going to tell us that women don't shower in slow motion with a lot of overhead arm movements.
---
We don't shower under sexy soft-focus lenses, either.

It's hard to buy these arguments without definitive visual documentation.

[Anonymous]

Regarding the question of how to deal with a group of people who have wells and therefore can "steal" water from their neighbors... Don't they have septic tanks as well? Therefore, isn't the water that comes out of the well going right back into the ground? That's the way it worked when I was growing up...

[Jennifer]

Don't they have septic tanks as well? Therefore, isn't the water that comes out of the well going right back into the ground? That's the way it worked when I was growing up...

Top health experts recommend that septic tanks be kept distinct from drinking-water supplies.

[Number 6]

Lost In Translation raised a good point. It's not as though this water disappears; if I remember 6th grade science correctly, it goes back into the water cycle. So, with the exception of desert communities and places like Seatle, just why is it that we're so determined to minimze the amount of water we use?

[Robert]

"There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum -- it's quite breathtaking ... I suggest you try it."

I have, for a hernia operation. It's no fun when the hair starts to grow back.

[wsdave]

#6,

Your right about the water getting back to the water table...for now. With less and less snowfall, however, the time will come when the water you flush down the toilet will go through the waste water treatment plant, have a little extra treating put to it (I can't recall what the final process is called), and be pumped right back up to your faucet.

Mac said earlier the Seattle doesn't have reservoirs, which is false. I can think of 4 right off (including 2 water towers), and last year's water shortage never occured because of conservation...and that our open top reservoirs also refill (partially) with every rain.

In Seattle, a FAR bigger issue with low snowpack is that our power rates will climb (we're pretty much hydroelectric 'round here).

[Wild Pegasus]

Despite what shampoo commercials and Playboy articles would have you believe, there's nothing particularly sexy about a woman who is taking a shower.

Having been in the shower with two girlfriends, I strongly disagree.

- Josh

[thoreau]

Having been in the shower with two girlfriends...

At the same time, or separately?

[smacky]

Wild Pegasus,

Would it be fair to say that you hardly disagree?

Thank you, I'm here all week.

[grylliade]

The truth hurts, boys, but it will set you free.

Oooh, I need some more truth, mistress. Don't know about the "setting free" bit, though; seems kind of counter-productive.

[joe]

OK, no brand name tag on the shower head. But here's some leads:

Mrs. joe bought it at Home Depot, and remembers it having some kind of German name.

The front is plastic, and the head is little over 3" in diameter.

There was a little tag thingie with the following:

"HG
A112.12.1M
max 2.5 GPM
(9.4L/min)"

Like I said, great showers, and it's low flow. Happy hunting.

[Timothy]

Come to think of it, there's no law that you have to have a shower head...might as well just buy an extra length of pipe and use that if the flow bothers you.

[The Wine Commonsewer]

speaking of recycling at the household level, all of our wash water and shower water is used to water trees and shrubs.

lookit meeee!

[joe]

TWC,

How do you do that? Do you have two sets of plumbing?

[SixSigma]

Jennifer -

On the - how many small inconveniences does it take to make a huge one this might be what you're thinking of:

There was a recent piece in reason that dicussed the sorties paradox:

There's a famous philosophical puzzle, originally attributed to Eubulides of Miletus, known as the sorites paradox or heaps problem. It goes like this: Two or three grains of sand obviously don't constitute a "heap" of sand. And it seems absurd to suppose that adding a single grain of sand could turn something that wasn't a heap into a heap. But apply that logic repeatedly as you add one grain after another, and you're pushed to the equally absurd conclusion that 100,000 grains aren't a heap either. (Alternatively, you can run the logic in the other direction and prove that three grains of sand are a heap.)

A Heap of Precedents

[cliff]

Next up: regulating baby pools. On which particuarly hot days of the summer will government officials agree to allow its citizens to fill up their baby pools? I'm on the edge of my seat.

When Slip and Slides are outlawed...only outlaws will Slip and Slide.

You can have my Slip and Slide when you turn off the water and pry my friction burned body off of it.

Feel free to use either quote when the situation arises.

[Stevo Darkly]

Well, when just about everyone from high school to now points out that you're etc. etc. etc.

Maybe you spend too much time in the company of mean-spirited dicks. Solitude would be preferable.

[Stevo Darkly]

1. Despite what shampoo commercials and Playboy articles would have you believe, there's nothing particularly sexy about a woman who is taking a shower.

2. Having been in the shower with two girlfriends, I strongly disagree.

I have to concur with Josh/Wild Pegasus on this one. Few things are sexier than showering with two of his ex-girlfriends.

[Stevo Darkly]

I don't remember who first said this, but how many little inconveniences do we have to suffer before life becomes one big inconvenience?

Jennifer, this probably isn't what you're thinking of, but you did remind me of a passage from Alexis de Tocqueville's Democracy in America that seems alarmingly prescient (italized emphases mine):
-------------------------------------------

Democratic governments may become violent and even cruel at certain periods of extreme effervescence or of great danger: but these crises will be rare and brief. ... I have no fear that they will meet with tyrants in their rulers, but rather guardians. ... I am trying myself to choose an expression which will accurately convey the whole of the idea I have formed of it, but in vain; the old words "despotism" and "tyranny" are inappropriate: the thing itself is new; and since I cannot name it, I must attempt to define it.

I seek to trace the novel features under which despotism may appear in the world. ... Above this race of men stands an immense and tutelary power, which takes upon itself alone to secure their gratifications, and to watch over their fate. That power is absolute, minute, regular, provident, and mild. It would be like the authority of a parent, if, like that authority, its object was to prepare men for manhood; but it seeks on the contrary to keep them in perpetual childhood ... For their happiness such a government willingly labors, but it chooses to be the sole agent and the only arbiter of that happiness: it provides for their security, foresees and supplies their necessities, facilitates their pleasures, manages their principal concerns, directs their industry, regulates the descent of property, and subdivides their inheritances -- what remains, but to spare them all the care of thinking and all the trouble of living? Thus it every day renders the exercise of the free agency of man less useful and less frequent; it circumscribes the will within a narrower range, and gradually robs a man of all the uses of himself. The principle of equality has prepared men for these things: it has predisposed men to endure them, and oftentimes to look on them as benefits.

After having thus successively taken each member of the community in its powerful grasp, and fashioned them at will, the supreme power then extends its arm over the whole community. It covers the surface of society with a net-work of small complicated rules, minute and uniform, through which the most original minds and the most energetic characters cannot penetrate, to rise above the crowd. The will of man is not shattered, but softened, bent, and guided: men are seldom forced by it to act, but they are constantly restrained from acting: such a power does not destroy, but it prevents existence; it does not tyrannize, but it compresses, enervates, extinguishes, and stupefies a people, till each nation is reduced to be nothing better than a flock of timid and industrious animals, of which the government is the shepherd. I have always thought that servitude of the regular, quiet, and gentle kind which I have just described, might be combined more easily than is commonly believed with some of the outward forms of freedom; and that it might even establish itself under the wing of the sovereignty of the people.

[peachy]

When my family lived in Cairo, the showers in our apartment had miserable pressure, so the gubmint (the US gubmint, mind) fixed one up with a snazzy electric motor - it sounded like a whole company of tanks passing through when it was on, but it was like standing under a fire hose. (Apparently conserving Egyptian water doesn't count...)

[Jennifer]

Damn Stevo, that was downright eerie.

I'm not in the habit of quoting or alluding to the works of Ayn Rand, but didn't she say something about a government passing so many laws that it was almost impossible for the average honest person to go without breaking them?

I'll add to that: some laws, like "don't steal" or "don't murder" are spectacularly obvious to any non-psycho, and I fully support such laws, but I have an inherent distrust for laws (like these regulating shower heads or toilets, or insisting that you need a permit to put a garden shed in your own backyard) which no reasonable person would think are laws, without first studying the civil and criminal codes.

By the way, I'm not sure but I think my quite first came from George Carlin.

[Twba]

I like more than a pathetic trickle of water. When I moved into the bachelor pad, I removed the flow restricting washer from the shower head. If you haven't already done it, do it today. It's free and takes a minute.

[smacky]

You know what's really stupid? I realized this morning that I forgot to mention here an interesting little feature of my apartment's shower: when the water runs, for some reason the water also flows out of the tub faucet near my feet, wasting about entirely half of the hot water that should be hitting my head instead. It has nothing to do with the little tub/shower lever, I've already tried pulling it all the way up...just another pure crap mechanism. The sad thing is, I'm not even going to bother telling my landlords about it -- their maintenance people are completely incompetent. (Well, they're good at changing lightbulbs in hard-to-reach fixtures...I guess that's something.)

[Eric the .5b]

speaking of recycling at the household level, all of our wash water and shower water is used to water trees and shrubs.

The soap and shampoo isn't bad for them, then (or gets diluted enough not to be)?

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