The Boy (and Girl) in the Bubble

Think you've heard the worst of less-than-zero-tolerance policies in public schools? Welcome to Culver City, California -- mere walking distance from the Reason Foundation's worldwide HQ -- where the students are no longer allowed to touch each other.

Most infractions of the policy result in a warning; but more serious behavior, such as fighting or kissing, could result in calls home or even suspension.

Did they just call kissing a "serious" offense, worthy of suspension? Oh yes they did. Check out crazed Assistant Principal Hiram Celis:

"When I'm out there and see something inappropriate, I'll let them know. I don't think parents know they have boyfriends and girlfriends," he said, adding that he believes holding hands could "lead to more intimate situations."

[Principal Jerry] Kosch agreed. "You let them hold hands, next thing they're on the grass" kissing, he said. When he sees two students holding hands, he said, he usually gives them a funny look or simply says, "no contact."

Next up: mandatory chastity rings, so these sheltered young things can at least learn some new positions.