Opie in '08

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Sunday's Chicago Tribune led with a story about the crony-lovin' policies of Mayor Richard M. Daley, who was re-elected for the fifth time in 2003:

…Federal prosecutors are alleging that top Daley aides committed hiring fraud by conducting sham interviews and falsifying documents. Authorities said the scheme was intended to reward political workers loyal to the mayor's campaign organization and to get around a decades-old court decree against patronage hiring.

Inside, the paper ran a story about a California town that elected a goat named Opie mayor in 2003:

"Opie stands for why so many people moved out here," said Nancy Ross, a stylist at Anza Barber & Beauty. "We don't want some human sitting on a throne."

The goat beat out three men, including the incumbent, Carl Long, who did not return calls seeking comment.

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  1. What movies did Opie make?

  2. Would Opie be interested in running for president in 2008 on the LP ticket?

  3. The most beautiful town in North America has had cats and dogs in the mayoral litterbox for years.

  4. Lewis Black: “The only problem with electing somebody as joke is that eventually, the joke gets old!”

    Of course, he was talking about Ahnold…

  5. Clay Henry II, the Beer Drinking Goat, was elected mayor of Lajitas Texas in 1986. He was killed by his son, Clay Henry III, in 1992.

    Bill Valentine, the man who runs The Trading Post, stands behind the cash register and tells the shocking story of Clay, Sr’s. death in 1992. “Clay, Sr. and Clay, Jr. both got soused in the same pen during rutting season. Clay, Jr. killed his father in a drunken brawl over a female.” Clay Henry, Jr. drinks to forget.

    Get there in the morning. By mid-afternoon Clay, Jr. — pen littered with empties — is clearly adrift in Sot’s Bay. After staggering over to his salt lick and working it furiously, he’ll drop to all four knees and his minus-sign-irised eyes will roll back in his head. He’s had it.

    Outside, the other goats finally get their fill from beers originally purchased for Clay, Jr. Inside, Valentine — the stuffed countenance of Clay, Sr. watching over him — shakes his head. “Clay, Sr. used to drink as many as people would feed him.”

    “Clay, Jr.,” he says, resigned, “isn’t the goat his father was.”

    According to Roadside America Clay III has since matched his father’s intake of 35-40 beers a day, but he suffered a tragedy in 2002.

    August 2002: Beer drinking goat castrated by jealous neighbor! Clay Henry III, beer drinking goat and mayor of the west Texas border town of Lajitas, was attacked by local Jim Bob Hargrove and castrated. Hargrove committed the heinous deed after seeing the goat drinking beer on a Sunday, when the area’s blue laws prevent the sale of alcohol to humans. Tourists had apparently been feeding Clay Henry his usual staple of Lone Star longnecks, and Hargrove threatened to castrate the goat, according to eyewitnesses. The mayor was found lying next to his testicles on Monday, Aug. 5. Ranchers sutured his wounds, and Clay was up slugging down cold ones soon after. Hargrove faces charges of animal cruelty.

    But alas another tragedy has befallen the Lajitas Trading post.

    November 2003: The Trading Post has reopened after six months of renovations by Austin businessman Steve Smith, who bought the entire town in an auction. He’s added a wine and espresso bar and other niceties as part of an overhaul of the Lajitas into a retreat for the rich. But Clay Henry III still chugs beers to the delight of visitors…

    An espresso bar?

    Get a rope.

    http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/TXLAJgoat.html

  6. So… what they’re saying is… there may be some corruption in Chicago politics?

  7. Opie the goat is more appropriate as a mayor of Anza than you can ever imagine. The assistant mayor is a bag of meth. No wait, that was Aguanga.

  8. Would that goats could be the gateway drug to no voting at all. Alas, gateways are just another government scam, like voting.

  9. I live in Chicago and my property taxes are outrageous. I have no doubt that Daley runs the city via a political machine that has been in place since before prohibition. On the other hand, the city is a much better place to live now than it was when I arrived in ’87. It’s expensive, but stuff get done. For all his faults, Daley has no higher ambitions than to be ‘da mare’ and having a city that works is a reflection of that.

    I would love to see a less corrupt local government, but it ain’t gonna happen. Even if Fitzgerald eventually nails Daley (and he has been pretty relentless) the corruption is systemic to the extreme. I don’t believe whoever steps up next would be an improvement. More likely, more of the same but with a slightly different bunch of cronies and less competence. *cough* Jesse Jackson Jr *cough*

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