News You Can't Use

If you're running a Web site in a country known for its draconian censorship laws and brutal human rights violations, staying under the bureaucratic radar is somewhat important. Which is why it's not particularly helpful when Reporters Without Borders hypes the threat of "cyber-dissidents." Or when a European radio station names you a free speech pioneer, tips off the authorities, and gets you busted:

Chinese authorities have blocked a pro-democracy Web log after it was nominated for a freedom of expression award by a German radio station, a press freedom group said Thursday.

Comments

[Sandy]

So what's German for "D'oh"?

[smacky]

Fick! Sheisse.

[Eric the .5b]

Well, to be fair, there's an inherent tension between getting the word out and being noticed by the authorities.

[Eric the .5b]

Er, between getting the word out and not behing noticed...

[raymond]

Enjoy the 2008 Olympics, folks.

[Shelby]

Friendly fire ain't just on the battlefield. Maybe next time they'll check the target coordinates before firing.

[Larry Edelstein]

Well maybe it will turn out to be a Pyrrhic victory for totalitarianism. Maybe the outcome of the blocking will be something good for freedom. Maybe.

[DaveInBigD]

Uh, so maybe wait until they get busted before nominating them for awards? At least then there's no harm done.

What's Chinese for "Ix-nay on the Ublicity-pay!"?

[scape]

What's Chinese for "Ix-nay on the Ublicity-pay!"?

If you're from the government, it's a bullet to the head.

[SR]

What, no Friday Fun Link?

[Eric the .5b]

It's been a grumpy Friday around here, for some reason. Someone peed in all our Cheerios.

[Phil]

Eric, I think it could all have been avoided with a Fun Link. But nooooooooo . . . .

[independent worm]

It's been a grumpy Friday around here, for some reason. Someone peed in all our Cheerios.

Not mine!

My wife gave birth to the most beautiful little baby girl in the world yesterday! (sorry folks... not relevant to any thread so I just posted it here because i'm so happy!). I guess if I had a website I could post pictures of her there and link to it and we could have THAT be the Friday Fun Link.... but since I don't, maybe the news itself could just serve as a kind of stand-in for the FFL, depending on your view of procreation, or whether one thinks that someone such as myself contributing to the gene pool is a good thing or not 😉

[Sandy]

OK, OK, here's your Friday Fun Link.

Just write your own caption to

[Sandy]

Congrats, independent worm.

Just sign up for a Blogger account--they're free, and you can track progress for your extended family.

[joe]

Congratulations, independent worm!

All of the sleep you're about to miss is worth it.

Little girls are the greatest.

[friendofliberty]

Off topic post
But does anyone know a good place to look for info at beating a drug test. i smoke weed almost every day and need to take a test in 7-10 days.

[Deus ex Machina]

But does anyone know a good place to look for info at beating a drug test. i smoke weed almost every day and need to take a test in 7-10 days.

Claim that you found some brownies in the fridge and happened to eat them.

[TallDave]

It's like being a famous secret agent.

[TallDave]

friendofliberty,

Try http://www.urineluck.com, I know a couple guys who swear by it.

Plus, how could any product endorsed by Tommy Chong possibly disappoint you?

Just promise me you're not operating heavy machinery while high, cuz I would feel if u got killed.

[TallDave]

Did someone say fun link?

[Eric the .5b]

My wife gave birth to the most beautiful little baby girl in the world yesterday!

Congrats!

[friendofliberty]

Thanks TallDave,

No heavy machinery just high finance.

[R C Dean]

But does anyone know a good place to look for info at beating a drug test. i smoke weed almost every day and need to take a test in 7-10 days.

Start flushing your system, now. Drink lots and lots of water, all day every day.

The metabolites get stored in your body fat. Start burning as much of it as you can, now, but go sedentary a day or two before the test.

Some of the products can help you produce a sufficiently diluted sample that still passes muster. That is essentially what they do.

[a German-speaking pedant]

Fick! Sheisse.

Not quite. Using the word Fick as an expletive will elicit only looks of confusion and perhaps the retort "Lern' erstmal Deutsch!" However, you may say "Fick dich ins Knie, Alter!" - why they say this, I do not know. I know only that they do.

Scheisse is always appropriate and serves as a good German version of "D'oh!" Hell, even little old ladies use it, as Mark Twain once noticed.

[Hakluyt]

R.C. Dean,

I wonder if its illegal to give out such advice?

[smacky]

a German-speaking pedant,

I dunnoooooo....I've heard Germans say Fick! Scheisse before...at least in a movie. (No, it wasn't an American interpretation of Germans, either). Dialects vary...

independent worm,

Congratulations!

Eric, I think it could all have been avoided with a Fun Link. But nooooooooo . . . .

Hey, I submitted two different candidates for a Friday fun link to H&R....both of which have been rudely ignored!

friendofliberty,

Flush your system. Drink lots and lots of cranberry juice. Water is good also. Take Goldenseal root (available at any GNC). I don't remember the correct dosage of Goldenseal root....you should probably just follow the indications on the package.

[crimethink]

smacky,

If that's true, I'm surprised that cranberry juice, goldenseal root, and water haven't been made prescription-only yet.

Help Desk: Thank you for calling the water department help desk, how may I help you?

Homeowner: Well, to start with, you could tell me why my water's been shut off.

HD: Just a moment while I call up your records...oh yes, you've exceeded your ten gallon limit for the day...

Homeowner: Wha...ten gallon limit? I was just in the middle of a shower!

HD: Sir, ten gallons is a lot of water. Unless someone in your household is trying to tamper with a drug test, you should have no problem getting by...

Homeowner: Wait a minute, someone's at the door...they just kicked in the door! What the---

HD: Oh, and I almost forgot, DEA regs require us to report any suspicious water usage...

[mediageek]

Crimethink, for the love of God, please don't give them any ideas!

[Hakluyt]

mediageek,

I second that emotion (except for the God part). 🙂

[andy]

"I second that emotion (except for the God part). :)"

God, what is the deal with you fucking atheists and your qualifications of any statement with "God" in it? The concept of "God" can be taken an infinite number of ways (the life force, the universe itself, peace and justice, etc.) and does not refer to the cunt deity of the Old Testament. Stop taking yourselves so goddamn seriously (pun not intended)!

[andy]

* does not NECESSARILY refer...

I swear to GOD I put that in before 😉

[Hakluyt]

andy,

Dude, it was a joke.

[andy]

Hakluyt,

If you say so... 😛

[Stevo Darkly]

Congratulations to independent worm and Mrs. worm on the birth of their new dependent worm!

PS: I don't know how to say, "D'oh!" in German, but I asked our German intern how to say, "Holy crap!" and it's something like, "Heilige Scheisser!"

I also asked how to say, "Happy birthday!" but it's an incredibly long phrase, too long for me to even memorize. It's like three or four different "fahrvergnugen"'s strung all together.

[Jennifer]

Friend of Liberty--

I've read that, in addition to drinking lots of water and cranberry juice and whatnot, to clean out your system, you should also take B-vitamins, which supposedly will make your urine extra-yellow (and thus hide the fact that it's been "diluted.")

[Evan]

RWB putting out a generic "instruction booklet" for bloggers and "cyber dissidents" h'aint exactly "hyping the threat" of them---nor do I think that it's that likely to make the chinese gubmint somehow crack down HARDER on them.

[smacky]

I also asked how to say, "Happy birthday!" but it's an incredibly long phrase, too long for me to even memorize. It's like three or four different "fahrvergnugen"'s strung all together.

Ahem, "Freuliche Geburtstag!"

[Stevo Darkly]

Thanks, smacky!

Although I swear, our intern's translation was twice as long as that.

Maybe it's because he's from former East Germany, and maybe they have a longer traditional birthday wish over there. Like, "Happy birthday -- and uh oh, the Kommissar, run!"

Anyway, danka.

[Stevo Darkly]

OK, OK, here's your Friday Fun Link. Just write your own caption to

[Stevo Darkly]

Just got around to thinking about the topic of this post.

"Lips that aren't tight sink sites and human rights!"

So, do journalists (including mabye citizen bloggers) have any responsibility to not report news that may blow the cover of and endanger the presumed "good guys"? Or do they have an obligation to report it, as disinterested reporters serving the People's Right to Know?

It's an old question, of course -- but usually it comes up in the form of "Do journalists have an obligation to cooperate with their govt's national security apparatus in time of war?"

Discuss.

(OT: I think I'm getting the flu.)

[mediageek]

Thank God* employers don't test for smokeless powder residue, or I'd be hosed.

*--> 😉

And congrats to the Worm family on their new addition.

[a German-speaking pedant]

Stevo,

Your friend most likely said "Herzlichen Glueckwunsch zum Geburtstag" (I assume using umlauts doesn't fly here on Hit & Run), which is the traditional way of wishing someone a Happy Birthday in German.

P.S. If you've happened to miss someone's birthday, you can always say "Herzlichen Glueckwunsch nachtraeglich."

[Stevo Darkly]

German-speaking: Yeah, that seems more like what he said. And I will never memorize that.

I'll have to use the shorter nontraditional "Freuliche Geburtstag!" and hope that's good enough.

[bigbigslacker]

10 years ago, when I was subject to random drug testing (passed 7 tests in 7 years), a whiz quiz could result in a false positive if you had consumed certain OTC medications. One trick, in addition to some degree of everything mentioned above, was to not use these false positive producing medications, but indicate on your paperwork that you have done so.

This site lists a few:
http://www.passyourdrugtest.com/false-positives.htm

[drugfreeslacker]

Um, uh, I just want to point out that the reason I passed all those drug tests is because I don't use drugs. Just wanted to clear that up.

[a German-speaking pedant]

Stevo,

By the way, if you are still reading this thread, here's something you can say to impress your former East German intern (although why anyone would want to impress an intern is another question): if he does something really good in the office, you can say Voll urst! (pronounced "foal oorst"; means, hmm, "totally crazy" or "cool"). Only someone from the DDR would say that.