"Don't let war affect the lives of children Smurfs."


Ah, Belgium, land of diabetes-inducing waffles, Hercule Poirot, and the polyglot stylings of Sandler & Young.

And now: Land of Smurficide, all in the good name of stopping war that is destructive not just to flowers and little-children but to the blue-skinned peoples of the world:

The people of Belgium have been left reeling by the first adult-only episode of the Smurfs, in which the blue-skinned cartoon characters' village is annihilated by warplanes.

The short but chilling film is the work of Unicef, the United Nations Children's Fund, and is to be broadcast on national television next week as a campaign advertisement….

The short film pulls no punches. It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand-in-hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom- shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

Tiny Smurfs scatter and run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs.

The final frame bears the message: "Don't let war affect the lives of children."…

Julie Lamoureux, account director at Publicis for the campaign, said the agency's original plans were toned down.

"We wanted something that was real war—Smurfs losing arms, or a Smurf losing a head -but they said no."

Was it Hemingway–or Billy Dee Williams in Brian's Song–who said that all true stories end in death? Well, why should The Smurfs get off easy?

Congrats, Unicef, you're finally paying us back for all the Halloween-related money you took from us to pay for abortions for 10 year olds (or whatever).

Whole story here.

Reason's Jesse Walker hipped us all to the existence of Smurf fan fiction a few days ago. Check that out here. We all should have realized that Smurf snuff films were only a click or two away.