I Hope They Don't Have a Well


While you're contemplating whether 22-year-old Matthew Koso's relationship with his 14-year-old wife, Crystal, whom he impregnated when she was his 13-year-old girlfriend, should be treated as rape, here's another legal question to ponder: Should their decision to name their infant daughter Samara, after the evil ghost in The Ring, be treated as child abuse?

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  1. Should their decision to name their infant daughter Samara, after the evil ghost in The Ring, be treated as child abuse?

    Yes, especially since the name of the evil ghost in the original Japanese version is Sadako. They should be punished for taking the child’s name from the less-scary and non-original US remake.

  2. If the couple makes a sequel to Samara then I say lock them both up!

    Seriously, the first Ring movie was awesome! The second one? Dude, deer in the woods are NOT, I repeat, NOT scary!

  3. smacky:

    What are you talking about?! “Ringu” had some brilliant moments, but this, in my opinion, is one of the very rare instances where the American version is better then the original.

    The japanese simply can’t tell a cohesive story. Halfway through the picture, it’s like “oh, by the way, I have psychic powers!” just to move the plot forward.

  4. They should be punished for taking the child’s name from the less-scary and non-original US remake.

    Which is odd, since my ex and I watched the Japanese version after we watched the American version. We thought the Japanese was much less scary; the only time we were frightened was because of the score, which was superb. The Japanese version made everything too logical, too explainable.

    Of course, Ellie said that she wasn’t as impressed with the movie on a second viewing, or at least wasn’t as scared. Maybe it just depends on which you see first.

  5. “Dude, deer in the woods are NOT, I repeat, NOT scary!”

    He’s coming right at me!

  6. Hmm…maybe I have to give both versions a second viewing…I saw the American version first, and then the Japanese version later. I guess I am judging the Japanese one as scarier perhaps on its merits as truly a more horror film (when you consider the original, creepy score and the unfamiliar, anonymous but spectacular actors) versus the cheesy little boy (and Naomi Watts?!) in the American version, not to mention that I think the American director does a somewhat ham-fisted job of conveying the creepiness of the whole tale. Again, that’s what I recall, but I have a bad memory when it comes to movies….maybe I should watch both again.

    This is of course all coming from a person whose favorite horror movie is “The Shining”, which is meritous not so much for its horror but for its purveying creepiness…

  7. Apparently, thoreau, you do NOT live in deer-infested woodlands. I have flashbacks to that scene on a semi-regular basis when driving home at night. Thank goodness it’s almost hunting season – I’ll be able to live in peace for a while again.

  8. Makes sense… my 13-year old daughter loved The Ring movie.

  9. “The japanese simply can’t tell a cohesive story.”

    Does this have a genetic basis?

  10. OK, a deer running toward you in the night with its antlers pointed at you would be scary. And it would be especially good in a movie if the director made the deer’s eyes reflect moonlight.

    But a bunch of deer casually surrounding a car? No.

    Face it: The Ring 2 was a HUGE letdown. The first one was amazingly good, so my wife and I were very excited when the second one came out. Then we saw it and realized that the popcorn was the high point of the show (and the popcorn wasn’t even that good).

  11. True story: when I was an early teen living in Germany, some friends and I were in the woods getting high when a deer came out of the woods near us (very unusual, I know, but we weren’t making much of a ruckus). My friend Peter decided to scare the deer off by running at it. It did run off, but not before kicking/hitting him square in the face.
    There was a lot of blood and Peter was knocked silly. We had to drag him some ways before we could get him some help. THere was so much blood coming out of his head that we thought he was going to die for sure.
    Do not mess with the deer!

  12. Another drug-related injury, related by mk.

  13. Chuck,
    I got a bunch of em’.

    Drugs are bad, mm’kay?

  14. European countries reserve the right to veto proposed children’s names.

  15. “They should be punished for taking the child’s name from the less-scary and non-original US remake.”
    I agree completely. And don’t even get me started on Kingdom Hospital…

    “European countries reserve the right to veto proposed children’s names.”
    Whereas in the US, the government won’t veto your child’s name but if you pick the wrong name, then every time your child wants to board a plane they will either be cavity-searched or not allowed to board the aircraft.

  16. Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116,
    pronounced: “Albin”.

  17. As an aside, I think Albin is a darn cute name for a kid.

  18. A deer is scary but only if it kicks you. One swift kick from a mule deer can kill a dog.

    If yer 21 and you get my 13 year old girl preggers you ain’t going to have to worry about a ring, wedding or otherwise, nor about naming the kid.

  19. TWC-

    We’ve already debated exhaustively what should be done in this case. But none of that will matter when the ghost of Samara climbs out of the TV and kills both of her parents…

  20. thoreau,

    I was flabbergasted when I heard they were making a sequel to the Ring. When a movie depends on the suspense generated by a mystery, and then reveals it at the end, it’s not very sequelable. eg, The Matrix.

    But, when the creativity well has run as dry as it has in Hollywood, I guess you don’t have much choice.

  21. I point to this as nothing more than further evidence that my previous statement about this situation is correct:

    These people are all fucking stupid.

  22. So, if the father is sent to prison, maybe one of the guards should pop a really bad student film in the VCR one night and show it to the inmates.

    Seven days later…

  23. I really could care less about the vast swaths of the country whose grasp of the language causes them to refer in this case to the kid as having “did wrong.”

  24. I guess no one around here has a problem with 21-year-olds impregnating 13-year-olds, then.

    Won’t somebody please think of the children???

  25. Brian,

    We already discussed it. It bothers a lot of people. The question that was grappled with was whether everything the state could do would make the situation worse.

  26. Sorry if the Simpsons reference failed to convey adequately tounge-in-cheekiness…


  27. Are the parents Jews or Asians?

  28. I was flabbergasted when I heard they were making a sequel to the Ring.

    Well, the original was a series of movies as well (and elements from more than one of those movies were used in the American remake), but the bad choice was apparently hiring someone to write a bad homegrown sequel instead of going back to the, er, well.

  29. Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

    Oh, my God! That poor kid is going to have a terrible time fitting his name into the allotted number of boxes (one box per letter) when he fills out his SAT test. (I’m told one of the guys at my high school, Bradley J. Stuckenschneider, was only able to get about as far as “Stucken.”)

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