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It's Always the Women Who Suffer Most (Bra Crisis Edition)

Kerry Howley | 8.25.2005 12:07 PM

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According to the Sun, protectionist economic policies have left British women exposed:

Britain could be facing a bra shortage after an EU ban blocked Chinese-made clothing heading for the UK, a trade body warned today.

More on Chinese textile quotas here.

Via Wonkette.

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Kerry Howley is author of Bottoms Up and the Devil Laughs: A Journey Through the Deep State.

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  1. Baylen   20 years ago

    This is one instance of protectionism I can (ahem) support.

  2. NaG   20 years ago

    You not only borrowed from Wonkette's page, but you borrowed her headline style.

  3. Jeff   20 years ago

    In this morally pendulous world, it is good to know that some issues remain free and unconstrained.

  4. Rich Ard   20 years ago

    This will truly cause a sag in the market, though by winter I imagine things will perk up.

  5. linguist   20 years ago

    Not to worry, Evian can solve the problem.

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005390251,00.html

  6. Jeff   20 years ago

    I just want all the women of that green and plesant land to know that I stand behind them, and offer whatever help these soft-yet-manly hands of mine can offer. Anything to see their spirits lifted (and seperated).

  7. Larry A   20 years ago

    Going to be nippy this winter.

  8. Cedarburg   20 years ago

    Glad to see that Reason is keeping us all abreast of the situation.

  9. linguist   20 years ago

    Or British women could take advice from former colonials.

    http://www.sysindia.com/forums/Cinema/posts/23392.html
    "IN WEST SMART FEMALES HATE TO WEAR BRAZIER INSIDE CLOTHS, BECAUSE THEY
    HAVE FIRM BREASTS AND DON'T
    NEED THE HELP OF BRAZIERS TO PROVE OUR FEMINIE AND SMARTNESS,IF A FEMALE WEAR BRAZIERS POEPLE
    THINK ABOUT THAT MAYBE SHE HAVE SMALL LOOSE OR UNBALANCED BREASTS, OR MAYBE SHE HAVE SOME KIND OF ABNORMALITY IN HER BREASTS AND TRYING TO COVER THIS DEFECT WITH THE HELP OF BRAZIERS."

  10. Rich Ard   20 years ago

    I can't wait to C the results of this - especially when some do-gooder comes out to say this, like every other regulation 'for the public good', is in the best interest of BBs.

  11. Jack William Bell   20 years ago

    It's obviously a French plot. Those frogs don't care about bras anyway; their wimmen don't have big enough tits to need 'em.

  12. Syd   20 years ago

    Or British women could take advice from former colonials.

    http://www.sysindia.com/forums/Cinema/posts/23392.html
    "IN WEST SMART FEMALES HATE TO WEAR BRAZIER INSIDE CLOTHS, BECAUSE THEY
    HAVE FIRM BREASTS

    Not to mention the heat from the coals and the tendency for their clothes to catch on fire.

  13. sage   20 years ago

    Watch out for joggers with black eyes.

  14. Jennifer   20 years ago

    Linguist--

    Was that for real?

  15. linguist   20 years ago

    Yeah, Jennifer, check out the link! I stumbled upon that 2 days ago while doing some research. It's a hoot!

  16. albo   20 years ago

    Let's hope they don't run out of Lady Camilla's size.

  17. linguist   20 years ago

    albo,

    Why? Charlie Dimmock's been going braless on BBC's gardening shows for year, and the Brits love it!
    http://www.beautifulbritain.plus.com/charlie_dimmock.htm

  18. SPD   20 years ago

    Looks like British men may have more than stiff upper lips very soon.

  19. smacky   20 years ago

    Bras suck. I support this protectionism. I haven't found a decent, comfortable bra to purchase in five years, since Victoria's Secret stopped making the only good bra they ever had that I've worn. I've been hoarding the three that I bought (unfortunately two are in dark colors) and treating them as if they were spun from pure sugar in order to prolong their thread life as long as possible. After they die, it's bust in the wind, baby.

  20. smacky   20 years ago

    It's a hoot!

    linguist,

    In keeping with the theme of boob puns running on this thread, didn't you mean to say "hooter"?

  21. smacky   20 years ago

    WHEN WOMEN APPEAR WITHOUT WEARING BRAZIERS INSIDE SHIRT HER NATURAL BREASTS CURVES LOOKS MANY TIMES NATURAL & ATTRACTIVE AND BREAK THE HEARTS OF VIEWERS. THE CURVES OF BREASTS NIPPLES INSIDE FROM DRESS WORK LIKE A BULLET THAT DIRECTLY HIT THIER HEARTS AND ITS DIFFICULT TO FORGET FORGET FOR VIEWER FOR LONG TIME.

    HA HA HA! [sob]

  22. smacky   20 years ago

    Rereading my initial comment, I guess I'd reneg on my support of protectionism. But I really don't feel that British women will be missing out on anything besides decreased circulation, underwire pinches, and compromised breathing and digestion capabilities. (Then again, I don't have the type of huge brestises that absolutely require a bra to prevent severe droopage and back problems, so I'm biased).

  23. Sven   20 years ago

    Tit for tat, I always say.

    I just don't have any tat and even if I did, I don't know where to go to exchange it for the other thing.

  24. Rich Ard   20 years ago

    Sven, did you snag that line from Asimov?

  25. Jennifer   20 years ago

    Smacky--

    In all seriousness, it sounds like you're wearing the wrong size. I read some statistic that the majority of American women do. About a year ago I tried a simultaneous upgrade and downgrade--bigger cup, smaller circumference. It made ALL the difference in the world.

  26. linguist   20 years ago

    didn't you mean to say "hooter"?
    Damn!

    After they die, it's bust in the wind, baby
    Hehehehe!

    HA HA HA! [sob]
    I know, right? It's like the most hilarious thing ever!

  27. Sven   20 years ago

    Rich, I stole it from somewhere, to be sure. I just can't recall from where.

  28. OhBehave   20 years ago

    Quotas...

    Apparently the EU's cups runneth over.

  29. Jeff P.   20 years ago

    I need a woman to explain to me why women never get measured for bras. They seem to try sizes until they find one that isn't TOO bad.

  30. linguist   20 years ago

    Jeff,

    Plenty of women do get measured for bras. When I was of that age, my mother took me to The May Co. and got me measured. A lot of the old dept. stores used to offer that, but less so now. Though British women have it pretty good: Marks & Spencer is supposed to be one of the best bra fitting joints on the planet.

  31. Rich Ard   20 years ago

    I need a woman to explain to me why they bother with the damn things all the time.

  32. Jennifer   20 years ago

    Rich Ard--

    If you're bigger than a B-cup, it's actually painful not to wear one.

  33. smacky   20 years ago

    I need a woman to explain to me why women never get measured for bras. They seem to try sizes until they find one that isn't TOO bad.

    linguist is right. The May Co. always did measure women. I think occasionally Victoria's Secret still does. In fact, my gramma used to work in the lingerie dept. at May Co. and I believe even fitted me at one point. Which also may explain why many women don't get fitted...who really wants some random, elderly woman wrapping ticker tape around your nips? *shudder*

  34. linguist   20 years ago

    Jennifer's exactly right. I have not been out in public without a bra since I was 11.

  35. smacky   20 years ago

    There are upsides and downsides to going braless. Some of the less fortunate of us sometimes-braless types can testify the actual risks and resultant faux pas that may result from going "commandette". I, for one.

  36. SPD   20 years ago

    Suddenly I need a cold shower.

  37. Jeff P.   20 years ago

    Gigitty gigitty gigitty oh yeah.

  38. Stevo Darkly   20 years ago

    Which also may explain why many women don't get fitted...who really wants some random, elderly woman wrapping ticker tape around your nips? *shudder*

    As I am neither random nor elderly nor a woman, I am hereby putting "bra-fitter" into my file of possible alternate careers someday. It appears there is a need, and I want to give something back to the community.

  39. linguist   20 years ago

    If you guys are really that curious about the bra fitting issue (which would surprise me, but hey), you may want to think about the fact that there is a lot more to the breast than circumference and distance outward. They're all different shapes. So even getting a good fitting doesn't guarantee that you're always going to be able to wear that size. There's a dizzying array of cuts of bra out there, so you have to experiment to get the perfect lift, shaping, etc. without having underwire bruise your ribs or straps rub your shoulders raw.

    [sigh] Bra shopping is truly the bane of my existence. I can't ever even find the right SIZE, let alone the right style or, god forbid, color.

  40. Stevo Darkly   20 years ago

    linguist -- thank you, I'm sure us dudes appreciate any bra-measurement info you provide, actually. If only for those times when we listen to the "free telephone personals" and run across something like, "Single white female, five foot six, forty-four double deeze, looking for single male of any race with similar interests for dating," we need help visualizing what that looks like -- especially in those cases where the woman's only actual stated "interest" is her own bra size. Which happens more often than you'd think. Or so I could tell you if I ever listened to the "free telephone personals," which of course I never do.

    Next up: If we only had some kind of conversion chart for women's overall "sizes." I mean, if a woman says she is a "size 5" or a "size 12" or a "size 16," I have a vague idea that "5" is smaller than "12," etc., but it conjures up absolutely no visual image for me, and I daresay the same holds true for most other guys.

  41. Stevo Darkly   20 years ago

    There are upsides and downsides to going braless. Some of the less fortunate of us sometimes-braless types can testify the actual risks and resultant faux pas that may result from going "commandette".

    I can imagine. Greater ease of hailing taxi-cabs, for instance, versus greater incidence of bicycle couriers crashing their bikes in your vicinity, etc.

  42. Jeff P.   20 years ago

    It's not a curiosity about bras (as I know my way around them well thnakyouverymuch), but the fact that I hear more women complain about bras than I do men complain about ANY piece of clothing, and it's usually about the fit.

  43. linguist   20 years ago

    Stevo! I have what you are looking for!

    A woman with a perfect 36-24-36 figure is a size 10 from the waist up, a size 2 at the waist, and a size 6 in the hip.

    Now THAT's realistic!

  44. linguist   20 years ago

    Also, Stevo, odd sizes mean that the person in question shops in the juniors department. Even numbers are for women, odds for girls, although they are nearly equivalent.

  45. Stevo Darkly   20 years ago

    My head is swimming. All this new info!

    All I know about women's "sizes" is that there is a shop in the mall called "5-7-9," which I now gather is for small chicks who want to buy clothes designed for grown-ups.

  46. Paul   20 years ago

    I agree, this is definitely something I can get between... er, behind.

    Paul

  47. Jennifer   20 years ago

    Women's clothing sizes are part of the Worldwide Male Conspiracy to keep us females down, by keeping us so busy finding clothes to fit that we don't have time to run for President.

    You men have it made--the people who make your clothes use simple measurements, like 28-inch waist, 36-inch leg, whatever. But there are NO STANDARD SIZES for women's clothing--usually, a company just makes its smallest whatever a size zero or one and works up from there. On me, for instance, size 3 pants from Company A will actually be tighter than size 2 pants from Company B, which are identical to the size 4 pants from company C. Company D, meanwhile, tries to pull off some pseudo-European bullshit by making those same pants in a size like "26," which corresponds to neither the waist nor the hips nor anything else on the body, except possibly the number of times we grind our teeth trying to figure out what the hell size we need to buy.

    Linguist is right about how even bra sizes have some variations, but that's the closest thing to simplicity we've got, clothing-wise.

    Oppression sucks.

  48. Stevo Darkly   20 years ago

    It sounds complicated as hell.

    But if women would just refuse to wear clothes, you wouldn't have this problem.

  49. Jennifer   20 years ago

    there is a shop in the mall called "5-7-9," which I now gather is for small chicks who want to buy clothes designed for grown-ups.

    You are correct. And might I add, it's great to finally be able to buy boots that don't have shiny little plastic Cinderella castles appliqued to the outside.

  50. sage   20 years ago

    Jiggle your tits, babe.

    Let them flop from side to side.

    Put them on the glass.

  51. Jadagul   20 years ago

    Don't know if y'all are still here, but Marginal Revolution had a really good discussion of women's clothing sizes a while back.

  52. Douglas Fletcher   20 years ago

    I swear I saw this on Lucianne.com over the weekend. Like, forever ago. Somebody at Reason needs to scan that site, they post all kinds of weird crap before I see it much of anywhere else on the web.

  53. Jeff P.   20 years ago

    Gentlemen, I think we need to bring back codpieces. Women can house their breasts in a structure made specifically for that purpose, while we are relegated to shifting our cash-n-prizes from one leg to another, forever trying to inconspicuously free them from the bite of the underwear elastic or the great pinch of gathered pants fabric.
    They should be stylish, and come in a variety of colors.

  54. Jennifer   20 years ago

    SMART FEMALES HATE TO WEAR BRAZIER INSIDE CLOTHS

    I think we need to bring back codpieces

    Well, Jeff, even though I personally don't have any cod to worry about, I'd rather wear a codpiece than a brazier. Although it might be convenient, perhaps, having support undergarments that could also be used for outdoor grilling.

  55. Rich Ard   20 years ago

    I think the biggest problem with that, Jeff P., is that while women seem to buy their bras just too small, most guys would be clinking the codpiece against their kneecaps when they walked around.

  56. R C Dean   20 years ago

    most guys would be clinking the codpiece against their kneecaps when they walked around.

    Hey, if the shoe fits . . . .

  57. smacky   20 years ago

    Women's clothing sizes are part of the Worldwide Male Conspiracy to keep us females down, by keeping us so busy finding clothes to fit that we don't have time to run for President.

    Oh my gosh, Jennifer! All this time I thought I was the only person who thought this. I am totally convinced that the modern, pop culture concept of what consitutes "female beauty" is largely what prevents women from making anything of themselves. You know, if a woman is not polished enough, she's either thought to be "dowdy", a "natural beauty" (the best possible scenario), "homely", a "new-age hippy", or a "lesbian". The expected beauty routine for women is much more rigorous for a woman than for a man. Whereas a man requires clothes that fit, a haircut, a Man-iucure, and a shave to look "presentable", a woman in many cases is required not only a hair cut but a blow dry, style, manicure, pedicure, makeup, the list goes on....which is what always annoys me about those stories about airline stewardesses who get fired for not wearing enough makeup. On average it's usually more time-consuming for a woman to be "put together" than a man.

  58. Jennifer   20 years ago

    Smacky--

    I agree with you, especially in the case of things like women who lose their jobs for not wearing enough makeup, but I really have to wonder how much of the rest of it is actually the woman's own fault. Take for example the stereotypical bimbo whose take-home pay is $75,000 a year but she lives in poverty because her annual shoe budget is $60,000. With the exception of foot fetishists, I've NEVER heard of a heterosexual male who gave a damn what kind of shoes a woman wears. When I was in junior high and high school, it wasn't the GUYS pressuring me into wearing makeup and "doing something with my hair;" it was the girls. What man cares about a manicure, so long as there aren't crescents of dirt under your fingernails? Who'll even NOTICE whether or not you have a pedicure, unless you insist on wearing those ridiculously uncomfortable open-toed shoes? No, I think a lot of this is women's own fault for lacking the guts to say "screw this."

  59. smacky   20 years ago

    Jennifer,

    I wholeheartedly agree with you. Except about the shoe part. Deep, dark confession: I like shoes. Reedeeming confession: I am a bargain hunter, at least.

  60. Isaac Bartram   20 years ago

    Women's clothing sizes are part of the Worldwide Male Conspiracy to keep us females down, by keeping us so busy finding clothes to fit that we don't have time to run for President.

    Geez, Jennifer, ya found us out. I'll have to report to Monty Burns and Bob Dole over at Republican Party HQ know that you're onto us. Good thing they had me spying on all you Hit & Run malcontents and nogoodniks.

    But times have changed. Forty years ago we had no trouble keeping y'all barefoot and pregnant all the time. Now it's all we can do to keep you from becoming President of these United States.

  61. Jennifer   20 years ago

    There's nothing wrong with liking shoes, Smacky, unless you're stupid enough to spend more than you can afford on them.

    That show "Sex and the City," while funny, always left me with a sense of low-grade irritation, and I finally stopped watching it altogether. What really made me roll my eyes in earnest was the episode where Carrie was freaking out because her apartment was going co-op and she couldn't afford to buy in, yet every week she'd spend more on clothes and shoes than *I* spent on four years in college! So, although I guess the viewer was supposed to sympathize with poor little Carrie, my only thought was "Well, dumbass, maybe you could afford a $50,000 down payment if you didn't have $150,000 worth of clothes in your closet."

    As for me, I like pretty clothes and I have a HUGE number of them, but I'm also a cheapskate who haunts thrift stores. (My all-time best bargain: I spent $20 on a full-length black fur coat with brushed-gold buttons, and saw the SAME COAT in Nordstrom's for $980.)

    So I guess I'm a little bit hypocritical for blaming women for wasting too much money on bullshit; the reason I'm able to get such fabulous thrift-store bargains is because of the female tendency to buy gorgeous clothes, wear them once or twice, and then donate them to Goodwill. If the women in this country wised up, I might have to start spending full price on my clothes, rather than get them for pennies on the dollar! So in light of that, let me rescind my previous post and say instead, to all women reading this, that men are most concerned with what a woman wears, and NOTHING turns a man off more than seeing you in an outfit you've already worn, and so if you want to have ANY chance at happiness or success in this life, you must buy lots of expensive clothes and then give them away after you've worn them twice. Otherwise you'll die a lonely and despised virgin.

  62. Jennifer   20 years ago

    Isaac, try telling me something I don't already know.

  63. Larry A   20 years ago

    Wife, getting ready to go out, asks, "Honey, which pair should I wear?"

    Husband looks down and sees three pair of black shoes. "Which ones are the most comfortable?"

    Wife glares at him. "Well! If you won't give me a serious answer, just don't bother."

  64. Larry A   20 years ago

    Wife, getting ready to go out, asks, "Honey, which pair should I wear?"

    Husband looks down and sees three pair of black shoes. "Which ones are the most comfortable?"

    Wife glares at him. "Well! If you won't give me a serious answer, just don't bother."

  65. smacky   20 years ago

    (My all-time best bargain: I spent $20 on a full-length black fur coat with brushed-gold buttons, and saw the SAME COAT in Nordstrom's for $980.)

    Funny. I'm not much of a thrift-store shopper, but my best thrift find was also a fur coat (well, fur-trimmed).

  66. Jennifer   20 years ago

    Smacky--

    Connecticut is thrift-store Nirvana, thanks to all the extremely wealthy people here. If you saw the clothes in my closet and the furnishings in my house, you'd swear that I not only make five times as much as I do, but spend every penny of it on stuff.

  67. Jennifer   20 years ago

    Smacky--

    Connecticut is thrift-store Nirvana, thanks to all the extremely wealthy people here. If you saw the clothes in my closet and the furnishings in my house, you'd swear that I not only make five times as much as I do, but spend every penny of it on stuff. I literally own more books that did the town library where I grew up.

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