Our Trump Card


Domino's pitchman turned C-list blogger Donald Trump offers his solution to the high price of Arab oil:

Better yet, stop sending those politicians over there to negotiate. Send a true business leader–someone who is used to tough bargaining–and see how far he or she could get. A seasoned business negotiator could do some serious talking and those prices would drop like a rock–guaranteed.

You don't suppose he has anyone in mind, do you? I say we test Trump's mettle by sending him to negotiate with the Iraqi insurgents first. As a goodwill gesture, he'll be unarmed.

NEXT: The $1.3 Trillion War

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  1. Trump’s right–we should send Sam Zell.

  2. So there IS an upside to Peak Oil!

  3. Trump to bin Laden: “You’re fired.”

  4. Maybe one of those hotshot, top tier corporate lawyers can knock their heads together.

    You know, like Warren Christopher.

  5. This has to be the most rank piece of grandstanding by Trump to date.

  6. Trump’s blog is well worth a look. It’s hard to believe it’s real and not a spoof by the writers of the Onion.

    …”My career is a model of tough, fair dealing and fantastic success”…

    ….”The glamour and grandeur of my buildings and my life are no mere trappings”….

    …”When I’m going up to my office in Trump Tower, I enjoy looking down on the crowds of people ohhing and ahhing at the magnificent atrium I created”….

    And check out the comments section!

    …”As an architect, I have to say your buildings totally rock. There is no way we could ever create anything that beautiful here in Canada.”…

    ….”Donald, I couldn’t agree more — you have a terrific style and class. It seems that when God made you, He broke the mold — I’m pretty sure that we’ll never see another Donald Trump.”….

  7. I’ve been saying for years that we should let the oil companys solve the oil problem. Let them absorb the costs of doing business with this bunch of thieves. The companys will catch on pretty quick and pass the costs on to us, but that is better than getting the costs back in body bags. Go Donald!

  8. I posted a link to a brilliant item by “Adam Eisenstat – Director of Communications, Trump University”.

    It begins

    “Donald Trump is the colossus of the New York City skyline. He stands astride the buildings that bear his name–his signature branded on the cityscape”

    I’d like to see his job description!

  9. Yeah, look how good he did at getting that old lady’s house for a limo staging area.

  10. Dog Breath,

    The oil conpanies run to the government faster than anybody. Its not they are itching to work this out on thier own or anything.

  11. sending him to negotiate with the Iraqi insurgents first

    Oh please god yes. Heck, let him go armed — it won’t do him any good, but he could use a confidence-builder, don’t you think?

  12. You’re fired! At!

  13. I’ve always (not) have a great deal of respect for business people who peridocally declares bankruptcy.

  14. This reminds me of Ross Perot and his new breakthrough idea for solving problems: Just get a bunch of top experts together (presumably drawing at least partly from the private sector) and sic them on the problem — problem solved!

    I have these impression these very successful, high-power businessmen — even those already well-entagled with the government — don’t fully realize that politics is different from business. It’s a different world, one they’ve never really had to comprehend. Especially in international relations.

    You can’t just give an order and expect an entire organization of thousands of underlings to jump to it. And when your power is dollar power, you’re essentially all carrot and no stick — even though this may not be readily apparent because people want the carrot so badly. Even your toughest business opponents don’t have the power to tax and regulate, nor do they have an army.

    It generally take a lot longer get politicians fired than businessfolk, and when you play hardball, they can tell you to go stick it — with a bayonet.

  15. Yeah well with all his money, you would think he could afford a good hairdresser eh?

    Rich–love those quotes. Wonder if those suck-ups got any money out of the Donald!

  16. Well, La Trumpster does have that bullet-proof hair to hide behind…

  17. Well, La Trumpster does have that bullet-proof hair to hide behind…

    His hair? It’s the ego that’s bullet-proof.

  18. I sense a TV game show here: each contestant works to negotiate lower oil prices or face the consequences.

  19. I agree with Portlander. Trump’s hair is merely shatter proof. It’s his ego at play here. He’s just grandstanding because he likes to hear himself.

  20. Ever notice his hair resembles a turban?

  21. Laughable as The Mentor’s suggestion is, there’s probably some truth to his assertion that Dubya isn’t playing enough hardball with the oil sheiks. This is, after all, someone who owes his fortune in large part to black gold, and whose family ties to the House of Saud have been the subject of multiple tomes.

    Of course, as mentioned before, the fact that the sheiks have less need for the American military protection that Trump references, what with Saddam out of the picture and the Iranian regime having lost some of its Kheomeinist fervor, also likely plays a role.

  22. No doubt Mr. Trump is a tough negotiator and flashy businessman but as a businessman his performance may be described as mediocre at best. He has some good personal wealth but his portfolio is performing miserably. Wonder how these skills can help him negotiate better the oil price which is determined by hundreds of factors and involves so many special interests.

  23. corasetad writes: The oil conpanies run to the government faster than anybody. Its not they are itching to work this out on thier own or anything.
    Yeah, pathetic, but I don’t really care what they itch for. Yeah, the US Gov’t has been bailing business out of difficult business circumstances since Jefferson. That doesn’t mean we have to let them.

  24. Has it occured to The Donald that maybe a group of businessmen have already negotiated with the Arabs and set an oil price? Like, say, oil executives?

    I mean, what exactly would The Donald do to change oil prices? If demand is growing (e.g. China), and a substantial amount of currently accessible reserves are concentrated among a handful of producers, well, that’s a recipe for high prices. Unless The Donald can arrange a deal where he bargains on behalf of a large coalition of buyers, he’s not going to get more than a few polite nods from the shieks.

    Hey, here’s an idea: The Donald should go to companies that buy lots of oil and offer to negotiate on their behalf. What CEO wouldn’t trust The Donald to negotiate on his behalf? I mean, just look how well his casions are doing!



  26. No doubt Mr. Trump is a tough negotiator and flashy businessman but as a businessman his performance may be described as mediocre at best.

    True enough. When I lived and worked in Atlantic City, it was widely known that Merv Griffin could have wiped up the floor with the Trumpster. Merv was the real deal; Donald was an arrogant poser.

  27. If this guy is such a hardball negotiator maybe he could go over to China and convince them to go back to using donkey dung for fuel instead of all that oil they’ve been using up lately.

  28. Trump> I’m only going to pay $40 for that barrel Mr OPEC man> No, you pay $60
    Trump> $40 is as high as I can go.
    Mr OPEC man> No, you pay $60
    Trump> No, $40.
    Mr OPEC man> Now you make me mad, price is $70
    Trump> How about $50.
    Mr OPEC man> It’s $70.
    Trump> I’ll give you $60.
    Mr OPEC man> Hmm, $60?…Sold! Please come again.

  29. I mean, what exactly would The Donald do to change oil prices?

    Trump’s suggestion was that the Bush Administration threaten to cut off military support to the Gulf states if they don’t ramp production. And historically, American “protection” has been the main stick we’ve used to cajole these countries into keeping oil prices low.

    If you recall, the price of crude plummeted in the ’80s after Reagan made a deal with King Fahd in which the US promised to defend the House of Saud from all threats in return for the Saudis keeping the spigots running at full blast. At a time when Saddam was in charge of Iraq, Khomeinei in charge of Iran, and a Soviet client state in charge of half of Yemen, it didn’t seem like a bad deal to Fahd. Nor did it to the other oil sheikdoms, who signed on for the same quid pro quo. And of course, Gulf War I didn’t do much to shake their collective belief that American military support was a pretty useful thing.

    In today’s geopolitical climate, though, their perceived need for the infidel war machine is diminished somewhat. And with a family friend and son of an oil man occupying the Oval Office, they have someone who probably isn’t going apopletic at the sight of October Brent Crude crossing $60/barrel.

  30. To paraphrase the great Sir Humphrey Appleby, if he succeeds, he’ll be a hero..if he fails, at least he tried…and if he doesn’t come back, he won’t be missed!

  31. …and if he doesn’t come back, he won’t be missed!

    Finally something we can all agree on!

  32. If we send him over there, we ought to plant a fifth of Jack and a stack of kiddie porn in his luggage, and paste an “I heart Salman Rushdie” sticker on his back.

  33. it’s a little late here, but didn’t that one smarmy character try that in “Die Hard” and get wasted??


  34. Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash.

  35. BANG!

  36. (dies)

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