Bare Barmaids Shaded from Brussels Ban

Just when you thought you'd seen everything under the sun from EU regulators, there's a scare that a favorite Bavarian eyeful would be curtained behind EU screens. After the EU Optical Radiation Directive recommended legislation to prohibit sun exposure endangering workers' health, beer garden enthusiasts and their barmaids feared that the traditional Bavarian dirndl dress and its signature plunging neckline would be banned. In response, dirndl devotees and beer garden denizens threatened to boycott Oktoberfest. A German newspaper reports:

[T]he mayor of Munich, Christian Ude, warned of "European legal perfectionism" and threatened never to enter a beer garden again if he were not to be greeted by plunging necklines.

Yesterday, however, EU regulators assured the Bavarians and their international fans that the proposed "protective" legislation would not outlaw the famed dirndls. The EU will vote on the Radiation Directive legislation for "high-risk workers" in September.

Comments

[smacky]

I wore a dirndl once for Halloween. The only part I was missing was the big rack. For some reason, they forgot to include it with the costume.

[Jennifer]

As someone who used to make a good living from exposure of my boobage, let me say that even if breast melanoma IS a significant problem, the barmaids here probably know enough to use sunblock anyway--overly freckled boobies don't generate a lot of tips. Especially not in Germany, I'd think.

[Bashful lurker]

geez, jennifer, are you trying to drum up business for that meet-up in NYC next month or what?

[rafuzo]

The EU - engineering better humanity through law and government. I can't believe no one's though of this before.

Oh wait.

[Ruthless]

The Mayor of Munich must be a Reasonoid.
Many years ago I underwent in-depth beer-tasting in Munich.
The symbol of the city is a short, happy monk holding a stein. I suspect he likes low-cut dirndls too.

smacky, if you had consumed much more beer over the years, you'd have a cotton-pickin' rack.

[Jennifer]

Bashful--

Puttin' mah mad advertisin' skillz to use, yo.

[smacky]

smacky, if you had consumed much more beer over the years, you'd have a cotton-pickin' rack.

Ruthless,

Is there a direct correlation between consuming large amounts of beer and having big boobs? Are there any studies done on this subject that you can direct me to? How come no one notified me of this sooner?

If amount of beer consumed at a young age directly relates to how big my boobs are, well, my boobs should be huge then. That's not the case, unfortunately. Where did I go wrong?......

[Jennifer]

Where did I go wrong?......

Well, forgetting to put a magnifying glass over your dirndl neckline was probably the first step. And even the smallest cleavage can look bigger through the artful use of push-up bras and blush powder.

[Ruthless]

I dunno. Maybe you also have to be German.

BTW, I prefer a baremaid to a barmaid, rack or no.

[Pro Libertate]

They'll have to pry my St. Pauli Girl out of my cold, dead fingers.

[Brian Courts]

Is there a direct correlation between consuming large amounts of beer and having big boobs?

Well, yes, I think there probably is some correlation. Unfortunately drinking large quantities of beer tends to make a lot of other things bigger right along with them. 🙂

[Ruthless]

Brian Courts,
Thence the word, "saftig," thence the words, "saftig suds."???

[gaius marius]

never to enter a beer garden again

yeah right.

[Ruthless]

Jennifer,
Am I glad to see you or do I just have some blush powder in my pocket?

[Jennifer]

The real shame here is that the EU is a great idea--strength in numbers, one big economy instead of two dozen little ones--but instead of using its efforts for things that would actually HELP, they waste all their tiime on stupid pippy-poo bullshit like this.

[Jennifer]

Ruthless-

Probably both.

[Ruthless]

The EU is not a good idea.
Organizing is never a good idea.
Anarchy rules.
Wait!

[The Wine Commonsewer]

Is there a direct correlation between consuming large amounts of beer and having big boobs?

I dunno, but it works for guys:

With every beer he grew and inch....

[Hakluyt]

Has anyone taken a look at all the regulatory crap in the new Energy Bill? Much of it is about as dumb as this particular regulation.

[Ruthless]

Hakluyt,
You sound like Mona.
Get with it!

[Jennifer]

Hakluyt doesn't sound like Mona at all, unless I missed the post where he threatened to cancel his subscription because there aren't any REAL libertarians here anymore.

[Jennifer]

Hakluyt doesn't sound like Mona at all, unless I missed the post where he threatened to cancel his subscription because there aren't any REAL libertarians here anymore.

[Brian Courts]

Hakluyt doesn't sound like Mona at all, unless I missed the post where he threatened to cancel his subscription...

Jennifer,

Wasn't it the other way around with Hak? I think he had his "subscription" canceled, as it were... you ought to know about that! 😉

[Eric the .5b]

Also, Hakluyt doesn't sound like Mona at all.

[B.D.]

The servers should all paint the tops of their breasts red just to mock the regulators.

[Stevo Darkly]

You can take away a barmaid's partly exposed boobage when you can pry it from my hot, trembling hands!

[smacky]

eeewwww...

[Stevo Darkly]

Sorry. I got really excited by this issue.

[Jennifer]

The servers should all paint the tops of their breasts red just to mock the regulators.

Nah--just roll up a copy of the decree, put it in their cleavage, and tell the regulators to "stick it where the sun shines."

[April]

Shoot, why doesn't the EU just recommend a fuckin' chodor, for chrissakes. It's for the ladies' own protection!

[dhex]

"and blush powder."

huh? does blush powder bend light or something?

the mayor prolly meant he won't enter a beer garden again using the front door, so he'll just hop some hedges.

what a weird thing, though, to focus on. someone had to get together and convince enough people that plunging necklines were a skin cancer hazard.

[Jennifer]

Dhex--

No, the blush powder makes the cleavage-shadow appear darker, which in turn makes the cleavage appear deeper than it actually is.

[bubba]

While I understand how distracting boobs can be, did no one notice that Brussells proposed a dumb regulation, and angry Europeans responded with a threat against Munich?

These idiots deserve each other.

[mediageek]

Has anyone taken a look at all the regulatory crap in the new Energy Bill? Much of it is about as dumb as this particular regulation.

Does it also involve breasts?

[Jennifer]

Mediageek, from what I've read, I wouldn't be surprised if the EU didn't try to require that breast-feeding mothers undergo pasteurization first.

[linguist]

stupid pippy-poo bullshit

LOL Jennifer. Great phrase. Also, I wouldn't be surprised at all if the EU (and here, thereafter) did start regulating breastfeeding ont the basis of health concerns. God, this is all so disturbing!

Busty German Beerdrinkers unite!

[Stevo Darkly]

If I recall correctly, during the Spanish Civil War, many young American men volunteered to go to Spain and join the fight against the Fascists. (On the side of the commies, but oh well.) I believe the "Abraham Lincoln Brigade" was the name of this volunteer international military organization.

In the same spirit, I proposed the formation of, I dunno, a George Hamilton Brigade, or maybe a Howard Stern Brigade, composed of American volunteers armed with sunscreen and willing hands, who will travel to Germany and do what they can to protect the exposed oom-pah-pahs of Teutonic barmaidenhood from the harsh rays of the Great Big Ultraviolet Radiation Polluter in the Sky.

[smacky]

oom-pah-pahs

heh.

[Ruthless]

'matter, smacky?
Yours just pah-pahs?

'sokay

[dhex]

"No, the blush powder makes the cleavage-shadow appear darker, which in turn makes the cleavage appear deeper than it actually is."

NO! MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE!

[JD]

I have nothing to add, I just want to say that H&R has been in fine form lately. Tits, beer, weed, nudity...I really can't fathom why our movement isn't more popular.

[Dolly Parton]

dhex,
Head for the hills!

Forget about them mountains.

The other day I thought I had a lump in one of my breasts. Turned out it was just my belt buckle.

[Coy Maedchen mit nipplechen]

Substituting for perverted Bavarian Catholics who obviously pop in here too infrequently, everyone should know the very name of Munich is the diminuative of a dwarf (height-challenged) monk.

Furthermore, freckled bosoms deserve bigger tips/titillation.. whatever.

Heidi! Ho.

[peachy]

you know, jd, i have to agree - if political parties and movements had truth in advertising it would help us more than the others. how could anyone but a hopeless prude resist the "tits, booze and guns party"?
("in this country, first you get the guns, then you get the booze, then you get the tits!")

[Stevo Darkly]

Substituting for perverted Bavarian Catholics who obviously pop in here too infrequently

Hey! I'm Catholic, perverted, and Bavarian on my father's side. (Germans from the Black Forest region, anyway, which I'm pretty sure is in Bavaria.) And I pop in here at least once a weekday, if I'm in town. What more do you need?

[Ruthless]

Stevo,
You're too funny for a Bayern, but Grusse Gott an dich anyhoody.

Und gueten abend. Schlafen gebundlich.

[Stevo Darkly]

Danke, Unbarmherzig. Gute Nacht.

(This possibly inept response to you courtesy of Babelfish!)

[Larry A]

The EU will vote on the Radiation Directive legislation for "high-risk workers" in September.

Yeah. I can't wait until they tell the burly highway flagmen they have to carry parasols.

Is there a direct correlation between consuming large amounts of beer and having big boobs?
I dunno, but it works for guys:
With every beer he grew an inch....

It works another way. "With every beer he drank, she looked an inch bigger."

[mediageek]

how could anyone but a hopeless prude resist the "tits, booze and guns party"?

That would make for the best national political convention ever!

[Ruthless]

mediageek,
All parties already celebrate that to which you refer. They just try to suppress it for purposes of hometown consumption.
Reminds me of Prairie Home Companion.

Try again.

My suggestion is "The Nude Gymnast Party handing out the world's smallest political quiz."

But that's just me.