No Beer Goggles Allowed

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British alcohol regulators have apparently decided that men in alcohol ads "should be unattractive—ie overweight, middle-aged, balding etc." One ad involving three attractive women and an attractive man got spiked by regulators for "implying that the drink may bring sexual/social success, because the man in question looks quite attractive and desirable to the girls. If the man was clearly unattractive, we think that this implication would be removed from the ad." The broad motivation here appears to be a new advertising code that "stresses that links must not be made between alcohol and seduction."

Now, put aside that it's idiotic to have regulators decide who's too cute to be in commercials. First: Why pick on the men? If you've got a bunch of cute people out drinking, why is it the men in the ad who're creating the alcohol-sexy connection? Second, isn't this backwards? If I see an attractive woman and a good looking guy making eyes at each other, I attribute it to their being attractive. If I see three attractive women making eyes at some pudgy slob, that's when I think: "Man, they must be tanked." Though maybe that's the warning the regulators want to send: "Have too many of these, and you'll wake up next to some guy who looks like Louie Anderson."

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  1. Yep, this is completely backwards. “Drink her cute” was a commonly heard phrase in college, when friends were being hit on by a less than attractive woman, aka a two-bagger.

  2. Homer Simpson, mmmm mmm mmm Beer Good!

  3. And then the Brits can freak out over why their birthrate is dropping.

  4. Brett, I must know: Why is an unattractive woman called a “two-bagger?” Two bags of what? Or someone to bag twice?

  5. Nothing of value, really, to add. Just that reading this makes me want to scream,”Oh good god, ENOUGH ALREADY!”

  6. Ah! Just googled it. Wow. Okay.

  7. A two-bagger is someone who is so ugly you need two paper bags – one to put over her head, and one to put over yours in case hers rips.

  8. Do not mess with the Beer Fantasy. It is iconic. Duff Guy, hot models wrestling in public fountains, the whole thing. I don’t even drink beer, but to regulate the beer fantasy out of existence is just too much. The revolution can’t be far behind.

  9. I can see where this is going. The new approved ad will be some drooling slob buying a six pack and a box of finger cots saying “I’m planning on a jolly good time tonite, care to join me?” to an attractive lady in the queue to the checkout.

  10. The advertisers will just around this by making the fat, bald guy very obviously wealthy.

  11. So now they want beer commercials to resemble family sitcoms (hot female paired with dumpy guy).

  12. Perhaps British regulators are more into girl/girl action. Aren’t we all?

  13. England scares me.

  14. I guess they’ll have to resort to showing them pictures of mountains and snow. And horses. That always gets me in the mood for a cold one.

  15. So now they want beer commercials to resemble family sitcoms (hot female paired with dumpy guy).

    Seriously! I think this is just a big ploy to encourage women to lower their standards even more yet again.

    I thought I remembered hearing that women are usually at greater risk of abusing alcohol or becoming alcoholic than men…maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know. (Thought it might have something to do with depression or stress in women, combined with the greater physical effect/toll of alcohol on women than on men).

  16. If they really wanted to encourage men to lay off alcohol, they’d show the fat, pathetic barfly chicks that usually cling to guys who go out drinking all the time. Or so I hear.

  17. The nanny state is back, and bigger than ever!

  18. “A two-bagger is someone who is so ugly you need two paper bags – one to put over her head, and one to put over yours in case hers rips.”

    In the circles I have a traveled a two bagger or double bagger is a term for a woman whose virtue may be questionable therefore it is advisable to wear two condoms.

  19. I would respond by hiring Ron Jeremy to be the new face of my beer company. Sure ladies he may look like a horse, but….

    Even ladies will resort to a two bagger if the man in question is a too bigger!

  20. OK, so why exactly are Islamic fundamentalists attacking Britain? Are the Brits just not moving towards fasicsm fast enough? The Limeys seem to be moving closer to the Islamic-prude dream state every day.

  21. “In the circles I have a traveled a two bagger or double bagger is a term for a woman whose virtue may be questionable therefore it is advisable to wear two condoms.”

    Don’t know if that’s a joke, but wearing two condoms is far riskier than wearing one: they’re both inclined to break.

  22. I’ve always understood a two bagger to be a woman so ugly, you need to put two bags over her head to ensure you don’t see her, or one over hers and one over yours for the same reason.

    But I have heard the joke that you need to “wrap it twice” if you’re going to have sex with a particularly skanky woman.

    And yes andy, it’s just a figure of speech. Thanks for the lesson, though. 🙂

  23. Actually, in my experience a hollowed-out cucumber works better than two condoms.

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