Zager & Evans Predux (Onion Edition)

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Where Zager & Evans wondered whether man would still be alive in the year 2525, The Onion predicts that the future is going to be nothing short of a laff-riot.

The satiric site's 300th anniversary issue, dated June 22-29, 2056, is online here. Among the headlines:

Democratic Middle Eastern Union Votes To Invade U.S.

Million Robot March Attended By Exactly 1,000,000 Robots

We Need a Fourth Law of Robotics: Stop Fingering My Wife

Front page here.

Well worth killing a Friday at work with (except for Reason staffers).

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  1. Favorite headlines so far:

    “Italy Bombed Back to the Renaissance”

    “Grave Robbers Pry Valuable Rifle from Charlton Heston’s Cold, Dead Hands.”

  2. The Onion never lets me down.

  3. Much hilarity as usual, but if that’s what web design looks like in 2056, I’m throwing away my computer.

  4. I keep expecting the Onion to jump the shark, but they still rock on a weekly basis. (and I’ve been picking it up since it was a local Madison rag.)

    PS – Went to the WIRED Nextfest last weekend and I too have seen the Future – In The Future, children will wear crazy hats made from balloons.

  5. In the year 2525, one of the great “artificial sound” records from the ’60s. How exactly did they manage to make that record sound like it was a 30 piece orchestra recorded to a Panasonic cassette deck?

  6. Mexico, Canada, and [b]Quebec[/b] have stated they are sympathetic to the MEU’s goals but must remain neutral for the protection of their own people”

    Heh, heh

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