There Go the Brides

Russian nationalist Vladimir Zhirinovsky wants to impose huge penalties on any woman who chooses a foreign husband over a Russian one. A member of his party explains their bid for the loser male vote:

"Our wonderful women are the best in the world…Wherever I have been, I have rarely seen beautiful girls, only in Russia and some other Slav nations."

Picture of the none-too-fetching Zhirinovsky here.

[Via Feministing.]

Comments

[Brett]

Our wonderful women are the best in the world...Wherever I have been, I have rarely seen beautiful girls, only in Russia and some other Slav nations.

Having just returned from St. Petersburg, let me be the first to beg to differ. There were a number of hotties, don't get me wrong. But on average...

And what is up with everybody coloring their hair there some shade of deep red or orange?

[chthus]

"The bill was being introduced 'in order not to squander our gene pool'."

"He saw the biggest threat coming from Chinese men, whose choice of potential spouses at home has been restricted by Beijing's "one child" policy. Many have settled in Russia's far east with Russian brides, who appreciate the fact that their foreign husbands tend to drink far less than local men."

So the Russians are the new Nazis and the Chinese the new Jews? I don't see the next pogromnacht going the same way.

The unintended consequence of a communist restriction in China leads to a move by the Liberal Democratic party in the neighboring former Soviet Russia back towards a more Stalinist type of government restriction on the populace, only to be thrwarted by the party of the president who would rather move towards Stalinism on his own terms.

But if heavy drinking is the source of the problem, why not just tax the hell out of vodka? Oh yeah, then they might revolt.

[norbizness]

Who knew that Mike Nichols had a long-lost twin brother who was smuggled to RUssia back in the 30s?

[Jennifer]

"Our wonderful women are the best in the world," Mr Kuryanovich told Ekho Moskvy radio. "Wherever I have been, I have rarely seen beautiful girls, only in Russia and some other Slav nations."

Well, he's right about one thing--we Slavic women ARE babes.

[metalgrid]

Yeah, just don't let anyone see you girls before the makeup goes on in the morning. I have no doubt there are more cases of coyote ugly resulting from that than anything else.

[Jennifer]

I don't mind being seen without makeup, metalgrid--it's the thought of being seen before I fix my hair that gives me the screaming horrors. (My Polish mother blamed my cowlicks on my Euro-medley father. )

In all seriousness, though, if the Russians are worried about losing their breeding stock, why don't they try making their country less of a hellhole? I mean, how miserable does a place have to be for women to post ads on the Internet saying "I'll marry pretty much any man who will get me out of here?"

[s.a.m.]

IF there is two things I learned about women, it is they like their men to smell good and have a J-O-B. I guess that just limited the dating pool in Russia!

[Mr. Nice Guy]

I heard those Russian mail-order brides were toxic, anyway.

But talk about massive collective insecurity. Note to Russian men: take showers, get jobs, and stop being a bunch of fucking drunks, and maybe your women will stick around.

I once called my slavic ex-girlfriend "my sweet babushka", and she almost took my fucking head off. Unk!

[Jennifer]

Mr Nice Guy-
That's because "babushka" means either "old woman" or "grandmother," you dolt. Sheesh.

[Jennifer]

Had it been me, I would not have "almost" taken your head off. Babushka THIS, motherfucker.

What a drag it is getting old.

[Yogi]

how miserable does a place have to be for women to post ads on the Internet saying "I'll marry pretty much any man who will get me out of here?"

Sounds like my hometown.

[Jennifer]

Which reminds me (and forgive me if this turns out to be a triple-post), Slavic women are certainly cute when we're young, and even into middle age, but we are UGLY when we're old. A couple of years ago my boyfriend and I went to a '50s theme party, and instead of dressing like 1950s teenagers we dressed like 1950s parents. I wore a bouffant with a scarf tied over it, and my cateye glasses, and this insanely pink lipstick, and when I looked in the mirror I literally screeched because I saw, for the first time, a distinct resemblance between myself and my grandmother. Which in turn led me to start singing the chorus of the Kate Bush song: "Ooooh, no! Babushka, babushka, babushka, yi-yi!"

Thank God my boyfriend never posted that picture on his website.

[Number 6]

So, I need to stop delaying and get that Russian bride ordered...

[Mr. Nice Guy]

Yeah.. I was ignorant. I had a vague concept that it was an affectionate term. In what context, I totally blew it.

It just sounded nice.. bubuuushka! All yours,
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya!
All yours,
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya!

[kwais]

Does this mean that I am going to have to pay taxes on my mail order bride? That would suck.

[Jeff]

Ingore Jennifer, gentlemen. She looked hot in that photo, in an Amanda Bellows sorta way.

[Mr. Nice Guy]

Oh man, Jennifer.. you posted right when I was writing my brilliant reply. Beat me to the Kate Bush reference.

This particular relationship was years ago. A tall, slavic girl of attractive features (jaw slightly squarish). Extremely intelligent and strong-willed. Boyfriend name Jeff.

[Jennifer]

The hell I did, Jeff. I looked like my Babci with a face-lift.

[Jeff]

Don't feel bad, Nice Guy. I once told a Cambodian woman how nice it was to once again be in her "intoxicating presence." She gave me a confused look and asked "doesn't that mean I give you gas?"

[Jennifer]

A tall, slavic girl of attractive features (jaw slightly squarish). Extremely intelligent and strong-willed. Boyfriend name Jeff.

Sounds exactly like me, except I'm short.

[Cgee]

Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the West behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia's always on my mind

[Jeff]

Ordering Jennifer out of the Willful Slavic Girls catalog was the worst purchase of my life...

[Mr. Nice Guy]

Jeff: 🙂

Jennifer:
I already know another difference. The girl of whom I speak was a liberal elitist of the highest order, schooled in many hours of listening to NPR.

She had an ex-boyfriend who was a hardcore libertarian, and she then comes across me, an idiot Republican dittohead who was just starting to convert. She ate me alive. The sex was great, though.

[smacky]

Well, he's right about one thing--we Slavic women ARE babes.

Heck yes we are!

Jennifer,

I've thought about how you said we age poorly as Slavic women....I think you're probably right on that, and in fact, I think there are many ethnicities of women that age poorly: Slavs, Italians, Middle Easterns, Mexicans....I think Africans and African Americans probably do alright, since changes in skin aren't as obvious...and Venezuelans age impeccably (in fact, I might suggest that Central American women look more or as attractive, the older they get.)

"Babooshka"....I loooooooove that song. A while back, I made this boyfriend-at-the-time program that song as my ringtone for when I called him. Just because I like it, not because I'm a gramma.

[Jennifer]

Smacky-
I think the Venezuelan thing might have more to do with cosmetic surgery than genetics; one reason Venezuela has more Miss Universes than any other country is that there's entire industries based around turning pretty women into beauty-pageant contestants. I always figured black women aged well because they had more melanin, which means the sun doesn't age their skin quite so much.

I think the reason Slavic women look especially bad when we age is that the musculature of our square-jawed faces means that we get all jowly when we're old.

[Jennifer]

I notice Jeff's not posting anymore. I hope it's because he's found something coonstructive to do, not because he thinks I'm actually mad at him. I can NEVER stay mad at my gorgeous Scottish geek for long.

[keith]

I am reminded of a passage from The daily Show's book, "America" in which they write something tot he effect that Russian women are known for their striking beauty, their weathered hardiness, and the shocking speed at which one becomes the other.

I live in a predominantly Russian neighborhood here in Brooklyn, and I too am puzzled by the affinity for dying one's hair the color of pipe rust then teasing it up into a big puffy perm. I thought only Japanese yakuza did that.

[Jeff]

I was pulling some Kate Bush disks to listen to at work.

[smacky]

Hounds of Love is the best.

[Mark Borok]

And once and for all, the accent in "Babushka" is on the first syllable, not the second.

[smacky]

Jennifer,

I think you're right about the jowls thing. I should probably start budgeting for mid-life plastic surgery a few years down the road.

[dhex]

if you ever get the chance (or the punishment) to ride the g train during a summer day, you can see a stereotypical polish grandmother riding with her 16 year old granddaughter. it's like a before and after shot from hell.

i call it "beauty and the bearded"

[Jennifer]

Well, at least I won't get bearded, dhex. I've got tweezers and I'm not afraid to use 'em!

[Brett]

The female mustache was predominant in many of the paintaings, including some of past princesses, at the Hermitage and state museums. Thank the sweet vanity gods for the razor and tweezers.

[Jennifer]

The longer this thread goes on, the more I think maybe Zhirinovsky should ENCOURAGE women to leave Russia. At least once they leave their teens.

[an innocent bystander]

Damn, and I just met this really nice Russian girl from St. Petersburg. Nothing for the long-term then, eh?

[Jennifer]

Innocent-
Well, you have to take into consideration her age in relation to yours, as well as how well YOU can expect to age. My boyfriend is 8 years older than me, and if his dad is any indication then by the time I go completely ugly he won't be in any position to trade up.

[kwais]

Funny you should mention the aging of the Venezuelan chicks. I had this Spanish teacher from somewhere around there. I think she was in her 40's and she was drop dead gorgous, but a little too old for me.

I used to fantasize in class about going back in time and meeting a younger her. Then one day she told the class her 19 year old daughter was coming to visit, I was very excited. And when I met the daughter I was very dissapointed.

I wonder how a woman so strikingly beautiful could have such an ugly daughter.

[an innocent bystander]

I might be in luck, then: she's in her late 20s and I'm about to hit 40 (and she still finds me attractive - go figure).

[Mo]

Jennifer,
I totally hear you there. From what I can tell from my dad and grandparents, I'm good to go for at least another 30 years. But somewhere between 60 and 80 it goes downhill REAL fast.

Note to self: Get trophy bride by age 55.

[Serafina]

I had a mad crush on a Russian waitress at a coffee shop on Second Ave. in the east village, but she had moved on and deserted me by the next time I was in town.

[mk]

I've met tons of russian girls around here. In my experience they tend to be tough, intelligent and fiercely independent. Most of the ones I've met have done quite well for themselves here. I can't blame them for doing whatever they have to do to get out. Hopefully most of them know they can get out of the marriage if they really need to.

Unfortunately, and for me this is a potential deal-breaker, most of the russian girls I have met just don't "get" American humour. It makes for a lot of awkward moments.

[Jennifer]

Better make it 50, Mo. That So Cal pollution is rough on the skin.

[mk]

One noticable thing about Russian girls is the way that they size you up the second they meet you. And they'll stare straight at you with those great stoney look on their faces that only russian women seem to be able to do.I've walked into a room filled with young russian girls and it was walked into a room filled with laser beams.

[Stevo Darkly]

Hey, I didn't realize that the Jeff who joined us a few days ago was Jennifer's boyfriend. (Mind your manners, guys, and watch the virtual pawing.) Belated welcomes, dude.

Mr. Nice Guy: Maybe a better term of endearment would have been, "I want to strum your balalaika."

And yes, Slavic chicks are hot. I know a bunch of them. Too bad they are all my first cousins on mother's side.

[mk]

Ack. Forgive the horrible writing on my last post. Someone walked into my office and distracted me.

[Jennifer]

Stevo-
With my new work schedule, this posting board is practically the only non-weekend time we get to communicate, despite the fact that we live together. Although actually, he started posting here long before I did; it's just that I got more attention, what with my obviously female name.

[Mr. Nice Guy]

"Maybe a better term of endearment would have been, "I want to strum your balalaika.""

Stevo - the girl played ME like a Stratovarius. I have a very strong fatal attraction towards lovely, intelligent and strong-willed (i.e. stubborn as a mule) women.

That Frankestein monster can get pretty out of hand once it gets off the table.

"Sed..a..give..sedagive!!"

[kwais]

"I got more attention, what with my obviously female name."

Haha,
to bad there isn't a line of H&R posters that girls can go to, in order to meed libertarian leaning guys.

Somewhere in there was a joke referencing the nerdy guy thread from before. I couldn't quite nail it though.

[Jennifer]

Kwais-
The only reason I posted on the geek thread in the first place was because the first post was from Jeff, saying "Damn straight we're better in bed; where's Jennifer to back me up on this?" With my boyfriend's honor at stake, naturally I had to dive in.

[Mo]

Jennifer,
Nah, I made my estimates based on the fact that my dad and grandparents grew up in Cairo, which makes LA's air look clean (apparently breathing Cairo air for a day is equivalent to smoking a pack of cigs, sand + dirt + smog = yucky). Fortunately, my paternal grandfather and dad are scotch drinking smokers, so I also have an idea what effect on my looks my bad habits will have.

Stevo,
Maybe we should participate in a relative exchange. I'll trade you two hot Egyptian cousins, for two of your Slavic cousins. I remember one time I met this gorgeous girl when I was out and about in Cairo and we really hit it off (nothing physical though). Three days later I saw her at my uncle's engagement party and we were talking the whole time I was thinking (please let her be on the bride's side, please let her be on the bride's side). That hope was dashed when my mom came over and said, "Oh good Mostafa, I wanted to introduce you to your second cousin Rawya, but I see you've already met." Though, due to cultural considerations, only I was thoroughly grossed out.

[CAT_Violations]

I think Zhirinovsky is secretly being backed by some of the women over here alarmed by the "mail order bride" phenomenon. Anyone ever see that episode of "Law & Order" where the middle-aged divorcees go off on Russian women?

Funny, some people are all about helping the less fortunate until the less fortunate are attractive women.

[Jennifer]

Jeff-
You took me out of context, as I've explained before. And you do NOT want to get into a contest of who can embarrass each other the most on the Web. Remember last year when I was nearly crushed to death beneath your comic-book collection because you wouldn't believe me when I told you that the stacks of boxes you made weren't stable?

[Mr. Nice Guy]

Tweet!

Okay kids, break it up! Everyone be cool! This is the land of Reason!

Are we not men? (Except for Jennifer/Smacky/etc)

[Jennifer]

Mr. Nice Guy--
He started it.

[Anvilwyrm]

Are we not men?

We are Devo.

[Mr. Nice Guy]

Jennifer:

Well, I will end it! (I'll probably never be a dad, and I always wanted to say that).

Seriously, emails and online text is very narrow in expression.. it can very easily be misunderstood. I personally lost a friend over an exchange of e-mails, which most probably wouldn't have happend if we talked face-to-face.

With couples, it's good to have disagreements while holding hands. I personally found it useful because it kept the girl from throwing shit 😉

Anvilwyrm:

Swish!

You ever saw that picture of that guy who crossed the Canadian border with a blood-soaked chainsaw in his trunk (the cops let him go, and he apparentely ended up killing someone)? His mug shot is so totally Devo.

[Jennifer]

Mr. Nice Guy-
I know. That's probably why those stupid "emoticons" got to be so popular.

Besides, so long as Jeff has that babushka photo on his computer I can't actually start a serious argument with him; it's like I have a slingshot and he has thermonuclear bombs. I know when I'm outgunned.

[Stevo Darkly]

Mo, sorry to hear about your potentially incestuous Luke/Leia Skywalker moment.

I'm afraid a relative exchange wouldn't work, as my hot cousins tended to marry soon out of high school and are all already spoken for.

Once, a several years ago, I was at a family wedding. I sat at a table with my cousin Mike, and another relative named Fred (also a cousin to Mike, but not related to me). Fred kept perking up whenever a pretty young thing went by.

(Gorgeous girl walks by)

Fred: Who's that?

Mike and I: That's our cousin Judy. She's married.

Fred: Damn.

(Gorgeous girl walks by)

Fred: Who's that?

Mike and I: That's our cousin Mary Beth. She's married.

Fred: Damn.

(Gorgeous girl walks by)

Fred: Who's that?

Mike and I: That's our cousin Renee. She's married.

Fred: Damn.

(Gorgeous girl walks by)

Fred: Who's that?

Mike and I: That's our cousin Amy. She's married.

Fred: Damn.

(Gorgeous girl walks by)

Fred: Who's that?

Mike and I: That's our cousin Trisha. She's not married.

Fred: Yeah!

Mike and I: But she's only fourteen.

Fred: Damn!

[Jennifer]

Stevo-
That's why I'm glad my cousins are all butt-ugly.

[Jeff]

I pity all of you who have been so cruelly spited by nature to have been denied Scottish birth. I, on the other hand, look forward to spending my autumn years resembling Groundskeeper Willie.

[Mo]

Lol, Stevo!

Actually, most of my hot cousins are married or underaged as well (including the aformentioned Rawya aka Leia). Have Trisha give me a call in 4 years though.
(ducks)
Just kidding!

[Stevo Darkly]

Mo -- Oh, this was several years ago, and I'm afraid Trisha's married now, too. And I think her youngest sister is also. (These girls were all part of a big family of six girls, five boys.) However, my older cousin's kids should be coming of age about now. Unfortunately, I don't see them anymore because we outgrew the park where we used to have our family reunions a half a generation ago. So, I can't reserve one for you. Too bad; it would be cool to have a Cousin Mostafa in our family.

[smacky]

I had a mad crush on a Russian waitress at a coffee shop on Second Ave. in the east village, but she had moved on and deserted me by the next time I was in town.

Oh my gosh, another bisexual libertarian chick? Will you marry me, Serafina?

I have a very strong fatal attraction towards lovely, intelligent and strong-willed (i.e. stubborn as a mule) women.

Mr. Nice Guy,

If you're looking for a date....

(Ok, so I've now officially hit on 2 H&R regulars...who's next?)

One more thing: Jennifer and Jeff, you two are cracking me up!

[Jeff]

Glad to spread joy, Smacky. At least someone can take pleasure from us.
I, however, spend each night fervently praying that the sweet release of death claims me before Jen's looks start to go...
Kidding. Despite Jen's self-depreciation, she is quite hot. Note that there is no "for an old Slavic broad" qualifier at the end of that sentence.
There used to be a crazy horny woman always hitting on Col. Hogan. Was she russian? I cannot remember.

[Steven Crane]

May I join the ranks of people smacky hits on? I realize I'm not that regular a poster... but I'm still only 24, and my looks and intellect probably have at LEAST six years left before they'll go. Also I can cook and am handy around the house.

[Serafina]

Marry you, smacky? And bring the long arm of the state into our bisexual love nest? Not a chance!

[smacky]

Rejected!

Climb aboard, Steven.

(hee hee...until I posted there was 69 comments on this thread.)

[smacky]

What's wrong with having an extra arm in bed with us anyway, babe? :p

[Stevo Darkly]

You have a right to as many bare arms as you want, and it shall not be infringed. I read that somewhere.

[Steven Crane]

Wait. Are smacky and Serafina a package deal?

AWESOME!

[Brian Courts]

Well this might be a little late in the thread to save you, but come on guys, don't tell me you actually believe in this myth that libertarian women are real. No way, I'm not buying it. Those 9/11 conspiracies on another thread are more likely to be real. For one thing, I think Jeff and Jennifer (Jeffiner?) are the same person. Kind of like Michael and Latoya - has anyone ever seen them together at the same time? Not sure what to make of smacky and Serafina... probably just Gary Gunnels in disguise to avoid the censors. Look, like you I've heard claims of their existence in the past, but I've always thought of those as somewhat akin to Bigfoot or UFO sightings: mostly wishful thinking by those that want to believe in their existence. And, yes like you I want to believe too, but until I see a real living, breathing libertarian woman in the flesh I'm afraid we have to conclude that we are simply deluding ourselves. Can't we just accept the harsh realities that life has dealt us without our childlike resort to make-believe characters? Let's face it: there is no Santa Claus, there is no Easter bunny, no tooth-fairy (and, dare I say it, no God?), and no libertarian women. Get over it. ;-)~

[Lowdog]

Wow, it's getting pretty nerdy in here!

I had a co-worker from Romania...he married a girl from there whom he had known for years. She never really gave him the time of day until he established himself here and became a citizen. She left him for another man. Two months later, he's on the Russian and Slavic wife sites, looking for another wife. Ended up going with another Romanian. Not sure how that one's ended up, since I don't work with him any more.

I always joke that I'd let one of those babes come over here and marry me to get her citizenship. Of course the price would pretty much be to be my personal slave. Yes, sex would constitute most of that slavery.

Smacky - I think I've already thrown in my lot for your affections on at least two occasions. Why stop now? 😛

[Mo]

Brian,
Hate to break it to you, but I dated not one, but two beautiful, intelligent (is there any other kind?) libertarian girls in the past year. All this in the People's Republic of California! I'd hook you up, but one has found a new man and the other is heartbroken over my imminent departure.

[Lowdog]

Mo - unfortunately, most of the girls I "date" don't even really know what 'libertarian' means.

[Stevo Darkly]

Smacky - I think I've already thrown in my lot for your affections on at least two occasions.

Get in line, amigo. Actually, I can think of only one civilized way to settle this cresting rivalry: gladiatorial combat. Let all contenders strap on their swords and sandals and meet on the blood-soaked sands of the H&R coliseum. Last man standing takes possesion of smacky (and Serafina, and anyone else part of the package deal). Twenty men enter, one man leaves. It's the only way.

[Serafina]

Eh, from my perspective twenty sounds better than one. Maybe I'm greedy.

[kmw]

So there you have it. Party at Serafina's house!

[kwais]

Are we all going to Smacky's afterwards? Or is Smacky coming to the Serafina party?

I did like the gladiator idea too, I figure my odds are pretty good. I'd end up with two chicks, and have hooked up with them in a pretty cool manner.

But the party you mention sounds pretty fun, what time are we all going to meet up?....

Oh wait,... never mind I am in the middle east. You all enjoy. You can tell me about it when I get back.

[smacky]

Wow. What a pleasant surprise -- coming to work, going to H&R, and finding Libertarian men in gladiatorial combat over me! And right while I'm on the brink of giving up on the opposite sex, no less.

Clap your hands if you believe! I do exist! So does Jeffi - er, Jennifer! And Serafina! And free form!

not one, but two beautiful, intelligent (is there any other kind?) libertarian girls in the past year.

Geez Mo, you go through girlfriends more frequently than most Frenchmen shower. You must be a stud. Where is your imminent departure to? Please don't say you're leaving the US.

Are we all going to Smacky's afterwards? Or is Smacky coming to the Serafina party?

If you think you can all fit comfortably in an unkempt shoebox, please, by all means, come to my humble clos- er, apartment. Otherwise, I'm crashing Serafina's.

kwais, I will fly over _________ (insert Middle Eastern country of your choosing), and drop you photos of the soiree, and any sweaty clothing articles associated with planned orgy - uh, party.

...Eh, what the heck: on second thought, we could always go on tour...I could use a little more sunburn.

[Jennifer]

Smacky-
A little word of advice from someone who learned the hard way: in the long run, nude photos of yourself will be far, far less embarrassing than photos showing you fully clad in babushka clothes.

[smacky]

Jennifer,

Thanks for the tip. However, I don't need any help from babushka clothes or nudity to embarrass myself - I can do that just fine on my own.

[smacky]

What a pleasant surprise -- coming to work, going to H&R, and finding Libertarian men in gladiatorial combat over me!

Wait a second.....dammit! I must be oversleeping again!

[kwais]

"..Eh, what the heck: on second thought, we could always go on tour...I could use a little more sunburn."

Ummm.....Uh, I have some sun block. Want me to put some on you? Im good at it.

[kwais]

"nude photos of yourself will be far, far less embarrassing than photos showing you fully clad in babushka clothes."

You can't just make a claim like that without backing it up with evidence.

Lets see the photo's.

[Jennifer]

Kwais-
Let's say that a red-blooded heterosexual male is shown two photos: one of Rosie O'Donnell hung over, with a shaved head, right after falling into a pile of pigshit ; and one of me in that 1950s babushka outfit, and the man is asked "Which of these two women would you most like to have sex with?" he'd have to think long and hard about that. Maybe even flip a coin.

[Mo]

Once again another H&R thread has devolved into mass flirting and inuendo. It's far more interesting than the conspiracy theory thread though.

Good to have you back Jennifer. One thing I do enjoy about the H&R comments is the relatively good manners and politeness that a lot of the popular sites on the left and the right lack. I'm glad it was all a big misunderstanding.

Don't worry smacky, I'm staying in the good ol' US of A. I'll be moving to South Bend, IN in August to start school. Hearts are breaking in LA and the OC (though with all the earthquakes hitting CA the past few weeks, I may be getting out just in time).

[kwais]

Jen,
I still need to see the naked pictures of you to be sure.

[kwais]

BTW Jen,
I just had a vision of that image you described with Rosie O'Donnel, now that is sick,

I am no longer in the mood to see naked pictures.

....Hold on a sec.

There, Im back, now you can show me those nekkid pics.

[kwais]

"Once again another H&R thread has devolved into mass flirting and inuendo. It's far more interesting than the conspiracy theory thread though."

Devolved? or Evolved?

That conspiracy thread is going to have 300 posts though, that has to be some kind of record.

[Jennifer]

Kwais-
Oh, all right. Here's a profile shot of me (with the face cropped to protect my privacy):

. . .X
. . .XX
. . .XXX
. . .XXXX*
. . .XXX
. . .XX
. . .X
. . .X
. . .X
. .XX
. . .X
. . .X
. . .X
. . .X
. . .XX

*It was cold the day this picture was taken.

[kwais]

😉 Nice

[Jennifer]

Since I refuse to put a Support the Troops magnet on my car, I figured I should do SOMETHING for the morale of the boys Over There.

[kwais]

Jennifer,
You have done something to support the morale of at least one person over here. I'll be 'using' that picture later if you don't mind. Are you shy? Would you mind if I share the picture with some of the other boys?

Smacky,
Where are you? I am supposed to be hitting on you, Jen is taken, and you are single. (and you offered to come out to the middle east, I can't turn that down).

[Stevo Darkly]

Gee, Jennifer, I had no idea you had such a large head. And why does cold weather put an asterisk on the tip of your nose?

Oops, never mind, I just now re-read and saw that this is from the neck down. So embarassed. Yet, aroused.

kwais: I proposed gladiator combat knowing full well that our group's professional warrior is curently out of the country -- because I'm smart.

[Mo]

That is one crazy chest to ass ratio. Jennifer apparently is to breasts what J-Lo is to asses.

[Jennifer]

Mo-
As a resident of southern California, you must have heard the old saying, "The camera adds ten pounds." I'm just lucky in that those ten pounds are added to the best possible place.

Kwais-
Share away! Remind our boys What They're Fighting For! And if any women ask for the picture, just remember--Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

[Don]

While everyone is discussing Jennifer's profile, I have to add: at one point the Soviets shipped Russian women to the gulag, for marrying or having relationships to non-Russian men. So this ain't exactly new.

[Stevo Darkly]

Don, you're harshing our hormonal buzz with all your gulag talk. Although that's kind of interesting. Was this part of the their plan to further "Russify" the Siberian hinterlands or something?

[kwais]

It is sad that this thread only just now matches the number of posts on the Micheal Jackson thread before it.

(Unless there was flirting going on that thread also, I could only read about the first few posts)

[Don]

Steve,

Not sure it was part of a plan. Unless you are thinking in terms of a greater plan to simply terrorise the Russian people.