"This bear is perverse, dominatrix, and hardcore."

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A Friday Fun Link from scenic Zurich.

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  1. What an unbearable decision.

  2. At least the guy who banned explicitly states he was THINKING OF THE CHILDREN!!!

  3. We had to ban it because of the children

    The refrain of busy-bodies everywhere.

  4. OK, this is almost too eerie for words. One post on about an “evil” bear (that’s actually harmless). Another post right after that about booting immigrants. Some jackass screaming, “won’t somebody think of the children!?”

    Anyone else thinking what I’m thinking?

    “Immigants! I knew it was them! Even when it was the bears, I knew it
    was them.”

    -Moe Szyslak

    “Think of the children!”

    -Helen Lovejoy

  5. Evan,

    I detect the evil hand of the Quimby Administration behind all of this.

  6. They pilfered Moe’s pic-a-nic basket, so they’re obviously capable of anything…

  7. “Let the bears pay the bear tax, I already pay the Homer tax” -Homer

    “That’s home owners tax” -Lisa

  8. “This bear is perverse, dominatrix, and hardcore.”

    If this headline doesn’t scream TEDDY RUXPIN!!! , then I don’t know what does.

  9. Obviously years spent drowning in a surfeit of pornography and media violence has inured me to the truly shocking.

    A large teddy bear statue dressed up in leather lingerie isn’t exactly what *I* would call “hardcore”.

    Now a real bear – well that’s a different sort of thing altogether.

  10. smacky,
    Teddy Ruxpin wasn’t hardcore. Well, except for that one time I scared the living daylights out of my little sister by putting a death metal tape in him. I got grounded for a week for that one but it was well worth it.

  11. Mo,

    That’s hilarious! Wish I had had you as my older brother. What a great gag.

  12. Could be an honest mistake: maybe the German transliteration for “Paddington Bear” is “Paddling Bear”?

    There’s a collectable-toys store down the street from me selling Harley Davidson teddy bears that look like the Village People’s Leather Man. Who knew there was such a market for alternative lifestyle bears?

  13. “Dude, what the fuck is WRONG with German people!?!”

  14. “Dude, what the fuck is WRONG with German people!?!”

    joe, the German people I know (and that’s not many, so I may be wrong:) do not regard the Swiss as “German” people, mostly because the speak such bad German. Actually one German lady I met said that while the Austrians speak bad German the Swiss speak “a kind of German”. The tone was something like a snooty limey talking about an American.

    They might not hate them as much as Hitler did. He explicitly excluded them from the “volk” (unlike ethnic Germans way out in the middle of Russia, say) and even went as far as to refer to them as “mountain jews”.

    I just found this amusing because I am constantly told that Americans are uniquely puritanical. Now we find that even among the sophisticated Euros there are limits. 🙂

  15. Thanks for the compliment smacky (and true to form, Evan and Stevo have stolen your heart and I’m relelgated to “big brother” status).

    joe,
    I wonder the same thing. I have the oddly enough news on my My Yahoo! frontpage and it seems like half happen in Germany, a third in Southeast Asia and the rest happen somewhere else.

  16. I admire the Swiss.

  17. Thanks for the compliment smacky (and true to form, Evan and Stevo have stolen your heart and I’m relelgated to “big brother” status).

    Awww, Mo! I didn’t mean it that way. Don’t feel left out — nobody’s really stolen my heart: I don’t have one.
    I just said that because my older brother probably would’ve just torn my Teddy Ruxpin’s limbs off instead of doing something more clever, as you did. I didn’t mean to typecast you as such. If I had one, I’d send you a dominatrix teddy bear to apologize for the misdesignation.

  18. miscegenation!? Oh for crying out loud. Since when do Germans and Sweeds count as separate races? I mean that’s just…. oh wait

    That’s different
    nevermind

  19. No worries smacky, I just saw an opportunity for some self-deprecating humor and took it. Don’t bet that older brother cleverness is a positive though. I’m sure she can regale you with stories of psychological scars I left. I know a few off the top of my head. I’d still like the dominatrix teddy bear, though.

  20. “mountain jews?”

    Really?

    There’s a satirical cartoon in there somewhere.

    Anyway, it was just a South Park quote.

  21. the German people I know … do not regard the Swiss as “German” people, mostly because the speak such bad German.

    Or perhaps because the Swiss aren’t “german people”.

    And they don’t speak “such bad German”. When it’s time to speak hochdeutsch, most Zurichers speak it perfectly well. (Their French is sort of annoying, though. fran?ais f?d?ral)

    I just found this amusing because I am constantly told that Americans are uniquely puritanical. Now we find that even among the sophisticated Euros there are limits.

    I wouldn’t walk down the Bahnhofstrasse wearing just a pair of speedos. It’s not a question of being puritanical. It’s a question of what’s appropriate.

  22. Mo writes: “Well, except for that one time I scared the living daylights out of my little sister by putting a death metal tape in him. ”

    My brother and I once made a tape of us saying “Hurt your sister. Make her cry” and put it in my nephew’s Ruxpin.

    That was messed up.

    The intro of ‘Number of the Beast’ would work well.

  23. Jon-Just to further derail this thread: My college roomates and I used to open the windows and play the intro to Number of the Beast when the people from the local bible-thumping church came by to evangelize. Worked like a charm.

  24. raymond at May 28, 2005 03:12 PM

    I was referring to what I had been told by the few Germans I know. I should have been more precise and said “German speaking Swiss people”.

    Or perhaps because the Swiss aren’t “german people”

    That’s what I was trying to tell joe.

    Perhaps I am mistaken but I had been led to believe that the German speaking Swiss were ethnically German and that the French and Italian speakers were likewise ethnically French and Italian respectively. If I am mistaken I will be happy to stand corrected.

    It’s a question of what’s appropriate.

    That’s what a puritan would say too. (I’m kidding). But if this had happened over here somebody would have been saying “how typically American to be so prudish”.

    thoreau at May 27, 2005 05:01 PM

    I admire the Swiss too. They have created the most liberal (in the good sense) society in Europe. And anyone that Hitler hated gets added admiration from me.

  25. Right zen, let’z zettle down.

    Today’s lecture is about zee Chews.

    Ze Chews come is sree varieteez: ze Saphardic Chews…

    chick-click

    …ze Ashkenazi Chews…

    chick-click

    …und, ze Mountain Chews…

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