Now We Know They're Westernizing

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In Iran, Islamic conservatives are learning to use focus groups.

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  1. Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani and Mohammed Baqer Qalibaf are in a contest to see who will be Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s bitch. And I thought Bush vs. Kerry was a joke.

  2. Our polling shows that conservative Shias are mostly values-voters. Most of them will be easily manipulated with issues like “second marriage” and complaints about women baring their ankles on TV.

    We also have to consider the large contingent of gun owners in areas bordering Iraq and Afghanistan. In addition to being a crucial swing bloc in the election, they could easily spark an international incident. Or, if properly manipulated, they could be used to distract foreign powers.

    George Bush was wrong when he said that things would be a lot easier in a dictatorship. All you do is substitute one set of problems for another.

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