What's the Difference Between a Libertarian and a Wookiee?

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Hammer of Truth's Stephen Van Dyke hips us to a controversy almost as heated as the one about Jar Jar's sexual orientation.

This one is about Bill O'Reilly's recent bon mot that he couldn't tell the difference between a wookiee and a libertarian.

Hmm, how would one tell? Insert joke in comments below.

Update: Wookiee has now been spelled properly. But what is the French term for Wookiee?

NEXT: Lucky Me

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  1. “I?m not a ?Star Wars? fan. I can?t tell a Wookie from a Libertarian.”

    Errrrrrrr…. Yeah. Bill, take my advice: Fire your writers.

  2. A libertarian won’t tear your arms out of your sockets when they lose.

  3. LIEA: “I’d as sooner kiss a libertarian!”

    HAN: “I can arrage that! YOU CAN USE A GOOD KISS!”

  4. While I appreciate the light-hearted, comedic manner in which you were offering this observation, hopefully you could clear up a question for us on what the difference is between a Bill O?Reilly and a Jabba the Hut.

    Best Regards,

    Joe ?Chewbacca? Seehusen
    Rebel Sqaudron Supplies Manager
    Libertarian National Committee, Inc.

    ROFLMMFAO

  5. Given the overlap between libertarians and gamers, I can see why O’Reilly might be confused 😉

  6. Wookiee. Thank you.

  7. One of the differences between a Wookie and a Libertarian is that where Libertarians make appeals to logic, Wookies, much like Bill O’Reilly, just grunt and groan a lot.

  8. “…what the difference is between a Bill O?Reilly and a Jabba the Hut.”

    No, no, no… You’re talking about Rush Limbaugh.

  9. Wookiees can get more than half a percentage point.

  10. LIEA: “I’d as sooner kiss a libertarian!”

    HAN: “I can arrage that! YOU CAN USE A GOOD KISS!”

    LIBERTARIAN: “Oh dear! A real live girl! The Invisible Hand does work!”

  11. Hmm, how would one tell?

    By the size of the package. Wookies are better known for their wooly mammoths!

  12. “Here is a libertarian. Why would a libertarian live on Endor? This does not make sense. Why would a 6 foot tall lover of liberty live on a planet with a bunch of 2 foot tall commies? This does not make sense. If a libertarian lives on Endor, you must acquit. Look at the Monkey!”

  13. Badnarik does owe me a life debt

  14. What if the Wookie is also a libertarian?

    Is Bill O’Reilly a Wonkie?

  15. ?blah blah blah we?re not wookies *yawn* ? you get the idea?

    Ha ha — that’s rich.

  16. Did anyone notice the following comment:

    Bring back the funny press releases. At least then I got a chuckle out of the LP being ignored.

    Yours truly,
    Mr. X

    ?attacking the Death Star?

    Anyone?

    Personally, I think it’s Gary Gunnels. The “chuckle” gives it away.

  17. Sorry, those question marks before and after the “attacking the death star” quote shouldn’t be there.

  18. The Wookie’s the one with the giant loofah, singing “I wanna love you all over…”

  19. A libertarian is just like a wookie except he’s either gay or smokes dope.

  20. Sandy,

    Wouldn’t that make a Libertarian more like Jar Jar Binks?

  21. Wookies wave guns while screaming something unintelligible; libertarians wave guns AND flags while screaming something unintelligible.

    libertarians also have less testosterone than a wookie; how else can you explain all that body-hair and the deep voice?

  22. A: There are enough Wookiees in the Galaxy to have their own representatives in the Senate.

    (But my favorite comment so far is stretch’s at 03:42 PM.)

  23. Wookiees are a little-known and less-understood group of freakish outsiders viewed with fear and mistrust by the general populace.

    Libertarians, on the other hand, are… uh… hmmm….

  24. A Wookiee is a sometime food.

  25. The difference…
    Libertarians sometimes shave their legs.

    Well, yeah, it’s funnier if you know it was my boyfriend who said it.

  26. Half of the Wookiee population is female.

    or

    Wookiees don’t dress up like Libertarians at Sci Fi conventions.

  27. I love this thread! It’s the best. There are so many great comments, it’s hard to choose. My vote goes to The Sarlacc’s:

    A Wookiee is a sometime food.

    Mo – spot on!

  28. Wookies have cooler weapons.

  29. To pronouce the Wookie presidential candidate’s name, it is not neccessary to have your tongue pulled out.

  30. thoreau:

    Don’t be so sure …

  31. Jason-

    Do you have a laser gun? Have you ever manned the guns on the Millenium Falcon?

    I didn’t think so! 😉

  32. Thanks smacky. I could waste hours on this.

    There?s no such thing as a blue Wookiee.

    One can be found in the woods with a crossbow and a bandolier, the other is an imaginary character.

    Libertarians aren?t sore losers.

  33. Still waiting for someone to utter the sound advice “I suggest a new strategy: let the Libertarian win.”

  34. Howard Dean is a shaved wookiee, Joseph Lieberman is not. Condi Rice is a shaved wookiette, Colin Powell is not. Ann Coulter is lean wookie food, Michael Jackson is the shaved wookiee turd.

  35. “It’s not wise to upset a Wookiee.”

    “But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a Randroid …”

    ——————————–

    When the time comes to give out medals for defending freedom in the galaxy, the contributions of a Wookiee are ignored — he just stands in the sidelines and says, “Mrrrarrrrrgh!” Whereas a libertarian … oh.

  36. Stretch wins. ROFL

  37. I believe that en Fran?ais, Wookie is G?rard Depardieu.

    Kevin

  38. But what is the French term for Wookiee?

    “Le Weauquee”?

    Or knowing how most other languages are a lot less concise than English, maybe something like “Le simian/canine grand extraterrestre qui est habile avec des outils”?

    Damn. If only the current crop of H&R regulars included a hyperknowledgeable person of French extraction …

    Oh, damn. Just previewed, and I see I’ve just been upstaged by Kevin. Oh well…

  39. At least one woman, once, said that there was someone compared to whom she’d “rather kiss a wookie.”

    At least one important leader, once, said he had good relations with a wookie.

    At least one wookie, once, has made an actual difference in defeating tyranny.

  40. The prize goes to:

    ‘There?s no such thing as a blue Wookiee.’

    Except Otter Wookiees

  41. What’s the difference between a Booky and a Librarian?
    Not much, as long as we’re able to work it out in the stacks.

    linguist, I don’t want to know how you derived your moniquer. Eeau!

  42. >’There’s no such thing as a blue Wookiee.’

    Except Otter Wookiees

    I Googled “Otter Wookiee” and got nothing. I Googled “Otter Wookie” and I got one result — a reference to an image I can’t see. Could you have picked a more obscure reference?

  43. By the way:

    C-3PO: Independent, splits votes between Green Party (“We’re doomed!”) and Democrats.

    R2-D2: Libertarian, but doesn’t vote.

    Princess Leia: Democrat.

    Darth Vader: I am unable to picture the full-fledged Darth Vader of Episodes 4-6 as anything other than a Republican, but am unable to picture the Anakin of Episodes 1-3 as anything other than a Democrat.

    Luke Skywalker: Libertarian, but always votes Democrat.

    Han Solo: Libertarian, through and through.

    Chewbacca: Nonpolitical, doesn’t vote.

    Grand Moff Tarkin: Used to vote Republican, but now votes Democrat, listens to NPR, drives a Volvo.

    The Emperor: Republican.

    Yoda: Green Party. (Heh heh.)

    Obi-Wan Kenobi: Democrat.

    Lando Calrissian: Splits vote between Libertarian and Republican.

    Princess Amidala/Padme: Democrat.

    Mace Windu: Voted Democrat all his life, but thinking about switching to Republican.

    Jar-Jar Binks: Always forgets to vote; spends election day stoned.

    (Caveat: Haven’t actually seen Episode 3 yet.)

  44. Okay, Stevo Darks,
    After your careful census.
    Whom, of the above, gets called regularly for jury duty?

  45. And seeing as how Greedo has not yet been purged from the voter roll, he still votes Democrat.

  46. Stevo,

    I’m a subscriber to the theory that the Wookies were created as a function of the Big Foot craze–big at the time the original Star Wars was in production (Those were the ultimate Six Million Dollar Man episodes, were they not? I mean, Universal Studios included the entrance to the Sasquatch’s lair as part of the mandatory tour!)–and, considering that, I think Chewbacca’s gotta be a Green.

    …An Anarchist Green, but a Green nonetheless. You’re right on with Yoda, I can see Yoda ridin’ around on Chuy’s shoulder like Merry and Pippen on the back of an Ent. Except instead of takin’ out Isengard, they’d be torchin’ new housing developments, vandalizing Hummer dealers, spray paintin’ stuff. We’d all want to throw ’em in jail for sure.

  47. Howard Dean is a shaved wookiee…

    I’m not sure. He does sound like one sometimes, but I think he’s too short.

  48. Okay, Stevo Darks, After your careful census. Whom, of the above, gets called regularly for jury duty?

    I don’t know how he gets onto the lists, but somehow I can only see Jar-Jar as the archetypal juror.

    Maybe C-3PO too.

    Ken: Yeah, I can see Chewie as a Green, ELF-variety.

  49. Wookies are hairy and brown. Among libertarians, there’s only one who’s Harry and Browne.

  50. I gotta give the prize to Mo:

    “One can be found in the woods with a crossbow and a bandolier, the other is an imaginary character.”

  51. I gave the prize to Mo too, but it was for, “Half of the Wookiee population is female.” and, “Wookiees don’t dress up like Libertarians at Sci Fi conventions.”

    Ha!

  52. Bill O’Reilly doesn’t cut off Wookies.

  53. Stevo, TWC is the absolute king of obscure, of the beeeeg stretch (as in: that was a really big stretch).

    I assumed that Mo’s observation that:

    ‘there is no such thing as a blue Wookie’

    was tied to an earlier reference from Sarlacc that:

    Wookie’s is sometimes food

    And since,

    There is no such thing as blue food…

    It follows that there is no such thing as a blue Wookie.

    And since there is no such thing as blue food

    EXCEPT:

    Otter Pops

    Therefore, it follows that there is no such thing as a blue Wookie…..

    Except Otter Wookies.

    Ta

    Da

    🙂

    The whole thing hinges on the fact that there is no such thing as blue food. Throw that comment in to a bunch of pot smokers at 1:00 am who are in the midst of philosophizing (is that a word?) about life and the state of the planet and it can get really interesting. Especially the various theories as to why there is no blue food.

  54. Wookies are hairy and brown. Among libertarians, there’s only one who’s Harry and Browne.

    This gets the “smacked forehead because why didn’t I think of that one?” award!

  55. TWC: Ah! I never heard of Otter Pops. I thought “Otter Wookiee” was a reference to some kind of aquatic species of Wookiee, perhaps blue.

    I assumed that Mo’s observation that: ‘there is no such thing as a blue Wookie’ was tied to an earlier reference from Sarlacc that:
    Wookie’s is sometimes food

    Actually, there once was a Libertarian candidate who did something to turn his skin blue. I forget who, or how, or why. I think Mo was referrring to that.

    A clever line of reasoning anyhow.

    (And I was Sarlacc, BTW.)

    PS: I just found out the blue Libertarian was Stan Jones of Montana. Story here.

  56. joe-

    Mo’s comment was good, but the Sarlacc’s comment was better: A wookie is a sometimes food.

  57. I had no idea what Otter Pops? were, but apparently, they are back.

    Kevin

  58. Hm… How about libertarians are never likeable characters in popular movies?

  59. Well, given that most Star Wars characters carry some sort of weapon, and they all wear costumes from a sci-fi movie, I’d assume that they’re delegates to the LP convention.

  60. Is this the fun Friday link?

  61. Off the top of my head, the only one I thought of was:

    Noone ever confused a libertarian with a LaRouche supporter (Not without getting their arms torn off anyway).

  62. Oops replace “libertarian” with “wookiee”. I guess I can’t tell the difference myself.

    Come to think of it, I am nearly as hairy as a wookie, just much shorter.

  63. The Wookster, wookiemiester, woo-key-modo. The wookio on the way to the coffee pot, pouring a wookiee-mocha. Wookie-dookie-do-wop. Wookayo not happy with the Stevo, wookster looking to rip the Stevorino’s arms off. Oh shit..ooouch!….Wookiee calling 911…Stevemiester needs a hand.

  64. I Googled “Otter Wookiee” and got nothing. I Googled “Otter Wookie” and I got one result — a reference to an image I can’t see. Could you have picked a more obscure reference?

    Isn’t there some sort of prize for that? Like if you Google something and it only shows up once and you tell Google about it? I thought there was…and then once you did that, it automatically would no longer be true, because it would then turn up multiple times on Google…isn’t that some internet law of physics? This is surely something that only Gary Gunnels would know, were he here.

    Otter Pops! Wow, I totally forgot about those. I remember those from when I was little. At least they look familiar. Me, I was a Push Pop / Fudgesickle girl.(A chubby one at that).

  65. I believe that en Fran?ais, Wookie is G?rard Depardieu.

    Please, kevrob, is it really neccessary to come down on Wookiees so hard? What did they ever do to you to deserve an insult like that?…

  66. There is no blue food. Blueberries are NOT blue. They are Purple. 😉

    And no word in English rhymes with orange, neither.

    Steve, thanks for the link. Now we’re even because, believe it or don’t, I didn’t know about the blue libertarian.

  67. Hm… How about libertarians are never likeable characters in popular movies?

    Han Solo can’t be anything but a libertarian. (He probably doesn’t vote, though.) And he’s the one all women over age 15 want. In the original trilogy, anyway.

    Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

  68. I Googled “Otter Wookie” and I got one result

    smacky: Isn’t there some sort of prize for that? Like if you Google something and it only shows up once and you tell Google about it?

    There is a game called “Googlewhacking” where you try to enter any two words and come up with exactly one result on Google. But it’s not officially affiliated with Google and there’s no prize for it, as far as I know.

    I thought there was…and then once you did that, it automatically would no longer be true, because it would then turn up multiple times on Google…isn’t that some internet law of physics? This is surely something that only Gary Gunnels would know, were he here.

    Here I have to defer to a more knowledgeable Googlogist, or maybe one of Gary’s aliases.

    Oh, and my “Otter Wookie” (sic) Google search doesn’t count as a Googlewhack, because I search for “Otter Wookie” as an exact phrase, rather than +Otter +Wookie — two separate words that could appear anywhere within one document. Much harder.

    I think I’ve had only successful Googlewhack myself. One word was “stegosaur,” and I forget what the other one was.

    More rules here: http://www.googlewhack.com/rules.htm

  69. French term for Wookiee: Monsieur Gary Gunnels . Why, you ask? Because both travel the universe, and are quick to anger and abusive.

  70. *chuckle* Grrrrrrronnnnnnnnnk!

  71. What is the French term for wookiee?

    A wookiee is still a wookiee, but it’s “Le Wookiee.”

  72. You can take a version of the Myers-Briggs/Keirsey personality sorter here without having to register.

    On the latter site, the five closest matches that describe my personality type are INFP (Idealist – closest), INTP (Thinker), ISFP (Artist), INFJ (Protector), and ENFP (Inspirer).

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