Be Afraid

|

Be very afraid.

Advertisement

NEXT: The Goon Show

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. Will the campaign t-shirts be made overseas?

  2. This motherfucker seriously needs to be hit buy a bus.

    A bus, that is, full of illegal Mexican immigrants being driven by an outsourced computer in India.

  3. Oh, God! Where to start…

  4. “By” not “buy”.

    Apologies.

  5. Does this count as the “Friday Fun Link”?

    I would pay real American dollars to see Lou in a debate which he does not control. Father knows best!

  6. I don’t watch Lou Dobbs, but he is always being referenced – in a not good way – by posters here.

    What does everyone hate so much about this guy?

    I mean, he’s got his own grass-roots-for-president movement. So he can’t be all bad, right?

  7. I don’t know, he hates blacks or something.

  8. Well, for a successful business man he isn’t much of a capitalist. Whining and crying about Mexicans and jobs going overseas…

    “Hey Lou, I think your tampon needs changing.”

  9. Yeah but that doesn’t matter now that African-Americans have dropped to the 2nd largest minority status…. just ask the Democrats.
    MWMWAHAHAH

  10. “Does this count as the “Friday Fun Link”?

    I would pay real American dollars to see Lou in a debate which he does not control.”

    Apparently that’s not a requirement anymore to be president in this country….an open-ended debate with hard follow-up questions between Lou & the president. There’s a frightening scene.

  11. I don’t know much about Lou Dobbs, but I think it would probably be much cooler to see Bob Dobbs as President of the United States. He’s more of an icon, anyway.

  12. This does beg a bigger question: where are all the spirited, outspoken defenders of immigration? Unfortunately, the neo-knownothings (like Dobbs) have taken the initiative on this debate.

  13. smacky: Maybe Bob and Lou were twins separated at birth? They’ve both become father figures with all the answers. I vote for slack!

  14. Why not click on over to the Endorsements page on that site, and have some fun? If Vicente Fox’s name pops up in the list, you’ll know who to blame 😀

  15. The Pillsbury Dough-Boy for Prez?
    Hee-hee-hee.

  16. “What does everyone hate so much about this guy?”

    Well, if you had watched his show before you would know.

  17. Scott Christian Bauer, the self-described “libertarian” who evidently runs the site, is extremely weird even by the stanadards of his native Utah. In the “favorites” section of his website he lists his preferred air freshener spray (Neutra Air Citrus), deoderant (Sure Original Solid Fresh Scent) and fabric softener (Bounce Gain Scent Dryer Sheets). He also loves KUTV on weekdays, but specifically at “5 a.m., 12 p.m., 4 p.m., 4:30 p.m., 5 p.m., 6 p.m., and 10 p.m.” and digs a wrestler named “The Phenominal A.J. Styles”.

    Perhaps the best part about the whole site is that, writes Bauer, its “guestbook is hosted by MultiGuestbook.com, a company based in Germany that provides the most user-friendly, customizable, ad-less, and free guestbooks I could find. If I could find a U.S. company just as good, you can bet your bippy I’d use it.”

    No doubt like Bauer I wonder how Dobbs would view his OCD supporter’s claim that quality is a reason to outsource or offshore or whatever Dobbs is callling it these days. I bet quite a bit of “bippy” Dobbs would have a fit.

  18. We should start a grass roots campaign to get one of the Reason writers to run. Any nominations?

  19. I don’t know which Reason writer I want for President, but I want Jacob Sullum in charge of the FDA and DEA. I know, they’re separate jobs, but Jacob’s a smart guy. And once he’s done with those agencies there won’t be anything left in them to occupy his time anyway. So then we can give him a gig at ATF or something.

  20. Call me a child of the eighties, but what the hell is this “bippy” that people keep talking about?

  21. It’s a reference to the late 1960’s-early 1970’s tv show “Laugh In.” Evidently they spun off a number of catch phrases, including “You bet your sweet bippy.”

    I’m all for using the ocassional late-model turn of phrase, but that’s one that I have always thought is freaking stupid.

  22. thoreau: If that arrangement spreads Jacob too thin, perhaps Radley Balko could be the head of the FDA while Sullum handles the DEA.

  23. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  24. Dave-

    If Jacob needs an intern to help him juggle his duties at FDA, DEA, and ATF I’ll gladly go to work for him.

  25. I was hoping I’d get ATF. I can do drunk, chain-smoking, and armed as well as anyone (now that Hunter Thompson’s gone). Supreme Court would also be acceptable, provided those rumors about their not wearing pants under the robes are true.

  26. Can I get FCC? I’ll spend the whole time sitting on my ass watching TV. If I see anything offensive, I’ll be sure to let H&R readers know so they can Tivo it.

  27. I nominate Jennifer for Secretary of Education.

    I want to be head of NASA and NIH. I’ll sell off the best parts to various companies and foundations that sign a contract to be good stewards, since there really are some very good things happening at those agencies. Of course, the fat will be discarded.

    And the money from the sale will be spent on severance pay for all of the DEA employees that Jacob fires.

  28. Thank all of you for turning a really scary idea into something to laugh at 🙂 🙂

  29. Actually, I think Ron Bailey would be better for the FDA. But, I don’t think Julian is crazy or immoral enough to do up the BATF right. We’d probably have to outsource for that.

  30. KUTV is probably the local Mormon-owned TV station, and the guy’s use of “bippy” also leads me to think he’s a Mormon. They’ve got their own list of bizarre “non-offensive replacements” for common curse words… Tho I’m at a loss for what “bippy” stands in for unless its “ass.”

    Mormons… Nice folks, in a 1950s nuclear family sort of way, but a bit strange regarding religious issues. (But who isn’t?)

  31. bippy is indeed a replacement for ass. My dad used to say “it’s colder than a well digger’s bippy” when it was cold outside. I asked him what the hell a bippy was when I was a kid, but my dad being my dad, he just laughed and said he didn’t know. But if you think about it, it must mean ass…

  32. And the money from the sale will be spent on severance pay for all of the DEA employees that Jacob fires.

    Severance pay? I’d send them packing and if they complain about severance pay I’d tell them they’re lucky they aren’t getting thrown in jail.

    Jesse Walker should get the FCC. For the top job, I don’t know, which one of them is the most fun?

  33. Most of you above need to get a life.
    I haven’t the slightest what Lou’s claim to fame is–although I seem to have heard of him–but how many remember Pat Paulson’s run for the Presidency?
    Not to mention Dave Barry’s.
    How’s Dave doing?
    I miss him badly.

  34. Lowdog,
    I wouldn’t get too attached to bippy being ass.

    I’ve heard it referred to as “distination.”
    (Or Jack Benny’s vault?)

    Speaking of cold… how about that witch’s teat? This will be a threadkiller, but what exactly is a witch’s teat, not to mention what a witch’s broom is.

  35. And you thought a budget deficit was a bit of a pain?

  36. Re: teat:

    It rhymes with “tit” and means the same thing. Wussification has replaced the short “i” with a long “e” among the effete.

    I want to be put in charge of the National Endowment For The Arts and The National Endowment For The Humanities. My first act will be to submit my resignations, as those agencies’ very existence violate the First Amendment.

    Kevin

  37. Gary Gunnels for Attorney General
    Jean Bart for Secy of Defense
    Jason Bourne for CIA Director

    Maybe that’ll help with information sharing between the departments…

  38. You know, Dobbs at least LOOKS like Herbert Hoover…

  39. Founded on May 2, 2005, it is hoped that enough time exists to create a tsunami of public support and enthusiasm for a Lou Dobbs candidacy. (emph mine)

    lol, great choice of words. If those Asians thought that last one was pretty bad, wait till they feel the wrath of Lou Dobbs’ tsunami!

  40. crimethink-

    You know, Rumsfeld’s statements to the press are already pretty amusing. Can you imagine what it would be like with Gunnels (um, I mean, Jean Bart) as Secretary of Defense?

    Reporter #1: Mr. Secretary, what is your response to allegations that troops lack sufficient armor for their humvees?

    Jean Bart: *chuckle* You still haven’t answered my question from earlier, so I don’t see why I need to respond to you. At a previous press conference you proved that you’re at best an idiot and at worst a liar. Next question?

    Report #2: Mr. Secretary, are there any plans to reduce troop levels before next year’s elections of a final Iraqi government?

    Jean Bart: What we have right now IS an Iraqi government. And there is no such thing as a “final” Iraqi government. The current government will serve until a formal Constitution is drafted and new elections are held. The next government will serve until its term expires. There’s nothing “final” about either of them. Your inability to grasp that distinction tells me that you really need to do some more reading. My staff will compile a list of links for you to read. I suggest you go through them carefully before you come back in here and reveal your ignorance.

    .
    .

    Finally, if we’re going to put together a US government based on Reason writers and H&R posters, Kerry Howley is one Kerry who would NOT be worse!

  41. thoreau,

    Heh, actually I think there’s a pretty significant portion of the voting public (mostly on the right) who would love a Secy of Defense who treated the press corps like that. We might be on to something…

  42. Let me first thank those of you who filled out my online endorsement form with false and obscene names and email addresses, which led to me having to pull the page. The same was done to my guestbook, which I’ve had to turn into a moderated guestbook. It is amazingly refreshing to deal with people so intellectual and mature about their political beliefs and the discourse that follows. Not!

    To answer a few questions:

    1) No, I am not a Mormon, though I was for 19 years. I became a born again Christian in April 1999. KSL Channel 5 is owned by the Mormon Church, not KUTV Channel 2. In fact, KUTV has aired more fair and balanced reports about the Mormon Church and its members than any other Salt Lake City station.

    2) Lou Dobbs is not opposed to LEGAL immigration at all, only ILLEGAL immigration which is, by definition, illegal and thus a crime, make those who do it in violation of law and criminals. Illegal is illegal, and criminals of all stripes should be treated as such, not coddled.

    3) Lou Dobbs is not a racist by any stretch of the imagination. Only those who are ill-informed believe such unfounded name-calling.

    4) Campaign shirts, along with bumper stickers and other possible campaign merchandise, will be designed, manufactured, housed, and shipped within the United States of America.

    If anyone has any questions, I welcome your emails: webmaster@loudobbsforpresident.com

  43. Scott-

    If I want to make a campaign donation, where can I send it?

    I was thinking of donating a textbook on microeconomics, seeing as how Mr. Dobbs is so obviously deficient in that area.

  44. No thank you, but I appreciate that your offer was made in a non-profane manner. That speaks well of you.

  45. Scott-

    FWIW, I’ve contemplated mailing microeconomics textbooks to most pundits and politicians. But I’m pretty sure that my name would be put on some sort of list.

  46. Intellectual humor. Nice. Blogs like this one could use more of that.

    Have a Dobby day!

  47. I like Lou Dobbs and would vote for him if he were a presidential candidate because his position on issues all ring true with with my own personal experience.

    I lost my job because it was outsourced to India. I was out of work for nine months because jobs in my field were simply shipped overseas. When I did find a job, it paid much less than I was previously earning.

    My point is that Lou addresses issues to a larger audience than I could ever reach. He speaks for a shrinking middle class that is seeing the cost of health insurance becoming unaffordable; for individuals who have experienced catastrophic financial problems due to health, divorce or job loss and are unable to find relief under the new bankruptcy law; and for a nation who’s standard of living is being diminished soaring trade deficits and undocumented workers.

    Help me understand what it is that Lou says that stirs so much dislike for him by members of this group.

  48. Very well put! Those who use fiery discourse to attack Lou Dobbs should take a good, hard look at what he’s said, why he’s said it, and what a difference he would make in the country if he could.

    There’s an extensive list of quotes at LouDobbsForPresident.com/said.htm. Read and learn.

  49. Help me understand what it is that Lou says that stirs so much dislike for him by members of this group.

    I think it’s mainly the outsourcing-phobia. As Adam Smith wrote, if wine is cheaper to make in Portugal, and cloth cheaper to make in Britain, then it benefits both Britain and Portugal to “outsource” their wine or cloth production to the other country.

  50. The real problem with Dobbs, from a libertarian viewpoint anyway, is that he’s just another run-of-the-mill statist proposing government solutions to problems that the government helped to create in the first place.

  51. How’s this for irony? The Dobbs for President website is hosted in Germany!

  52. No, LouDobbsForPresident.com is NOT hosted in Germany. ScottMC evidently has a problem reading English. The domain is hosted by Christian Web Host of Remlap, Alabama, using servers located in Baltimore, Maryland. The guestbook, not the web site, is hosted in Germany, for reasons outlined on the web site. Next time, try to get your facts straight before you open your mouth … or before you let your fingers do the walking on your keyboard.

  53. “I lost my job because it was outsourced to India. I was out of work for nine months because jobs in my field were simply shipped overseas. When I did find a job, it paid much less than I was previously earning.”

    I’m calling your little sob-story a pile of bullshit.

    If it took you nine months to find a job that pays you less, it wasn’t because some sinster, non-caucasian, forigener was making it more difficult for you. More likely it was because you are an incompotent with no marketable skills.

    You want to keep jobs in the U.S.? It’s very simple: Loosen the more draconian environmental regulations, get rid of the more vindictive business taxes, scrap the minimum wage and create a free market for wages, and tell the unions to go fuck themselves. In short, give business a good reason to stay here and not look other countries where doing business is easier. In such an business climate, you can still “outsource” while fostering enough domestic economic growth to make up the difference (if there really any).

    Is Lou willing to do that? Hell no. He’s too busy making those “wetbacks” and “punjabs” look bad.

    On the other hand, why should someone in the Third World be forced to make next to nothing on the subsistance income that they get from the local economy when they can make much more money (with benefits too) working for the “sweat shops” the Left and the nativist Right loves to whine about? What makes YOUR job so god damn special that you have to put the breaks on the world economy. How does your paranoia justify throwing a monkey wrench into the economies of developing nations?

    To the Lou Dobbs, Pat Buchanans, _Rons, and Scott Christian Baurs of the America, the world map ends at the U.S. border. On the border of this map is written “Here There Be Monsters.” (i.e. non-whites)

  54. My mistake…the GUESTBOOK is hosted in Germany. Thanks for pointing it out so politely.

  55. I am an American patriot concerned enough about corporate greed outsourcing to cheap foreign labor markets on the backs of the American workers they displace into the unemployment lines to do something about it. Multi-national corporations are growing larger, making more money, and paying fewer if any taxes … all due to outsourcing. That any American in their right mind would condone this kind of behavior is astounding.

    The next time you call Delta Air Lines to make a reservation and someone in India with a thick accent handles your call (like happened to me three times last year!), I hope you find yourself wondering why Delta Air Lines found it necessary to outsource their reservation agent positions to India when there are hundreds of thousands of Americans here at home who could … and would … do the job, probably even better.

  56. You had to talk to a guy with an accent three whole times in a year?

    Poor baby.

  57. >>The next time you call Delta Air Lines to make a reservation and someone in India with a thick accent handles your call (like happened to me three times last year!), I hope you find yourself wondering why Delta Air Lines found it necessary to outsource their reservation agent positions to India when there are hundreds of thousands of Americans here at home who could … and would … do the job, probably even better.

  58. Way to go, Scott. You’re so right. It’s way worse that an Indian with a thick accent in India handles my reservation than that an American with any equally thick (southern) accent in Atlanta handles my reservation. And that the ticket undoubtedly costs less because the labor simply costs less abroad. But before you get your bippy in a tizzy, note that I’m attacking your ideas but not your right to make bad choices. As a libertarian, I defend your right to be an ignorant racist and to raise some capital in order to launch the prohibitively expensive Air Xenophobia.

    Scott, as a favor — if you have a moment — might you please address the obsessive attention to the minutiae of your personal-care regimen, i.e., listing your favorite shampoo, deoderant, air freshener, fabric softener, etc. at your personal website? I’d be grateful to learn why you chose to post this information, and in such excruciating detail. Thanks.

  59. thoreau,

    *chuckle* nice Gary Gunnels impersonation.

    I miss that multi-personality French buffoon.

    *chuckle*

  60. The H and R isn’t quite the same without him.

  61. You are all such wonderful people. It’s been nice chatting with you over the past few days. I wish you all a Dobby day!

  62. Funny, the only time I ever was on a tech support line and had someone with a thick Indian accent, she was domestic. I thought they usually trained the overseas Indian call center employees to not have accents when they spoke English.

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.