No Nuclear Option for This Filibusterer


According to the CIA's Foreign Broadcast Information Service, Cuban lunatic Fidel Castro has delivered 18 speeches in 2005, averaging out at about 3 hours 40 minutes per (ranging from a zippy 1:40 minutes to an ungodly 5:30). The Federation of American Scientists-provided link contains single-paragraph summaries, plus this desperate-sounding observation of the barbudo's physical decline:

President Castro, who is right-handed and known for gesticulating extensively with his right arm while speaking, has been progressively favoring his left arm since February. See LAP20050303000088 to review President Castro's range of motion in 2004. In his public addresses of 7 and 11 April, President Castro primarily uses his left arm to gesture and shuffle notes, and repeatedly kneads his right shoulder and arm with his left hand. President Castro uses his right hand on scant occasions to applaud, shuffle papers and point. However, he mostly avoids lifting or moving his right arm from the shoulder to the elbow.

During my too-brief time in Cuba, I observed two excellent reactions to Castro's speeches. The first was a sort of drinking game without the booze—just watch the four-hour speech with the sound turned down, and then laugh and laugh at how crazy the old man looks. The second was more utilitarian: use Granma, the eight-page daily newspaper that frequently runs six pages of Castro transcripts, in lieu of shortage-restricted toilet paper.

NEXT: Will He Be Back?

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  1. Capitalism comes to Cuba! Those guys would have been right at home in Galt’s Gulch.

  2. What makes you think the neocons have ruled out the nuclear option for Castro’s filibusters? 🙂

  3. I think this may be from when Castro broke his arm in that fall. I still like to bring up the film from–when was it?–Octover of last year. Castro trips on these platform steps and falls on his face!

    He doesn’t even get his hands down–it’s face first to the pavement. I must have seen it a hundred times now, and it still makes me laugh every time.

  4. I’m infuriated that you would besmirch the reputation of this great man in such a manner. And the tiny little blue men in my salt shaker agree with me…

  5. Castro trips on these platform steps and falls on his face!

    El presidente esta heroin junkie, or was it the morphine that junked his reality?

  6. It’ll be interesting to compare the comments when El Jefe finally kicks the bucket to those that followed Andrea Dworkin’s demise.

  7. Issac,
    Leftists may love Andrea Dworkin (I’m agnostic on the subject), but I’ll bet you serious money that’s nothing compared to how much they love Fidel Castro. Dworkin just wrote a bunch of books about feminism, but Castro actually achieved the leftist wet dream of a society where everybody’s hungry and miserable, but they’re equally hungry and miserable, making it a pinnacle of social justice. He’ll probably be treated like a candidate for sainthood. I think I’ll hang around this forum when he bites it, since people here might want to join me in finding even worse things to say about Castro than about Andrea Dworkin.

  8. Have none of you considered the possibility that this isn’t the real Castro?

    If there’s one thing that The Outer Limits and Star Trek have taught me, it’s that doubles never have the same dominant hand as the real thing…

  9. Has anyone seen Jack Noah lately?


  10. I still say that Cuba is one country that could use a few suicide bombers.

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