Take Five? I'd Be Happy To Take One! or, Who Says the Free Market Never Fails?

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The good people at Hershey's introduced the Take 5 bar back in December, but unless I'm looking for yum in all the wrong places, it does not appear to be available anywhere in the Bay Area. This baby racked up a 9.3 out of 10 on the Snack Satisfaction Index. It's got five daring ingredients, including peanuts and peanut butter, a combination of practically Romanov decadence. I'm ready to bite, and I can't find it anywhere! Mr. Hershey, where art thou? I could probably order one from the web somewhere, but somehow the idea of ordering a candy bar online makes me want to shoot myself. Am I not looking hard enough? Is Northern California at the tail end of some graduated rollout schedule? Anybody have any leads? Any reviews?

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  1. I live in Louisiana, and I really can’t say that I’ve found it at the usual suspects, CVS or Wal-Mart, but I have found them in a good bit of vending machines, usually at on school campuses (I went to LSU and am going to LSUHSC-Shreveport). So if you haven’t, search around vending machines, it’s like eating Chubby Hubby ice cream in a candy bar. Trust me, thery’re good!

  2. Hey Tim-

    They have them at the Albertsons at Filmore and Fulton-

    Enjoy!

  3. What, did the commercial air while you were researching the issues surrounding drug policy?

    😉

  4. Let me get this straight.
    Tim is freakin’ out over a Take 5 Bar, but refuses to eat a Frosty?
    He’s probably rallies behind the yahoo who spat tobacco juice on Jane Fonda.

  5. “…but somehow the idea of ordering a candy bar online makes me want to shoot myself.”

    Which is where the Omnibus Internet Regulation and Gun Safety Bill of 05 comes in.

    Bwah hah hah hah!

  6. He’s probably rallies behind the yahoo who spat tobacco juice on Jane Fonda.

    That wasn’t tobacco juice. That yahoo was drinking a Yoohoo.

  7. Douglas Fletcher,
    During those rare moments of sobriety, I’m having such a good time reading the two books of James Whorton, Jr.–speaking of Yoohoo, Moon Pies, R C Colas, and such-like.

    That’s what I like about the South.

  8. Standard Libertoid Dogma dictates that whenever somebody expresses frustration with the actions of a private company, the following admonition must be made:

    Hershey has no obligation to provide candy bars to you or anybody else. Why are you complaining about Hershey not providing candy bars in the Bay Area? Why not just keep quiet and let the market decide?

    🙂

  9. Perhaps we should legislate that supermarkets be forced to sell Take 5 bars in order to fix this market failure. Obviously, those fascists at Nestle have convinced retailers that it is their moral right to refuse to stock such bars.

  10. News Flash! The Albertsons at Filmore and Fulton has reported a huge run on Take 5 Bars by patrons who argue with the clerks about paying the sales tax on the candy bars.

  11. Tim-We’ve got them in the office snack box thing. Where shall I send it?

    Oh, I’m not much of a candy guy, so I have no idea how good it is.

  12. “It’s got five daring ingredients, including peanuts and peanut butter, a combination of practically Romanov decadence. I’m ready to bite”

    Expect offers from ad agencies to come rolling in for Tim tomorrow morning!

  13. Mo-

    I think there should be a conscience clause for store owners who don’t want to sell the Take 5 bar, but only if there’s at least one other retailer selling it in a 10 mile radius. Otherwise rural dwellers could be held hostage to the candy preferences of store owners.

    And it should go without saying that in an ideal world there would be no sales tax on any candy, but as long as there is a sales tax it should apply equally to all candy bars to avoid economic micromanagement.

    I had no idea that I could make such principled pronouncements on the subject of candy 🙂

    P.S. Chocolate was introduced to the Western world by Mexicans. It could be that this candy bar is being kept out of California by the efforts of Lonewacko and the Minutemen 🙂

  14. We have ’em in Boston.
    Haven’t felt the urge to try one yet: maybe I will now.

  15. Overrated. It’s very short for a candy bar, and the pretzel sticks take you by surprise and impale the roof of your mouth if you hit them at the wrong angle.

  16. OK, but while the roof of your mouth is impaled, does the great taste still come thru for you?

  17. Oops-

    I mean Masonic and Fulton.

  18. BTW, Cocoa is good for you!! :

    “In Chocolate, More Cocoa Means Higher Antioxidant Capacity”:

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/04/050421234416.htm

    You can just put plain cocoa on fruit. I mix it and cinnamon into cranberry sauce. Both also very good for you.

    Cinnamon:

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/04/040414003908.htm

    Cranberries:

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2001/11/011108064027.htm

  19. Sidereal,

    Yeah, it is a bit too short of a bar (need more peanut butter!), but how are you eating it, at a 45 degree angle?

  20. Thanks ariben. You killed my news flash joke. 🙁

    🙂

  21. “Why are you complaining about Hershey not providing candy bars in the Bay Area? Why not just keep quiet and let the market decide?”

    What, now it’s anti-libertarian to actually attempt to PARTICIPATE in the market? 🙂

  22. They sell them in convience stores here in Wisconsin and just the other day I saw them 5/$1. It looked like they were being liquidated. I could see why as they’re not good at all. Too much crap stuffed into one bar.

  23. Take 5 bars are excellent. The closest approximation, they taste like a salty version of a Nutrageous bar.

  24. Never had one, but I say if you are going to engineer decadence these days, the bar is higher than five ingredients. I figure the answer lies in the consession stand at your local AMC (or whathaveyou).

    Goobers are good, so use peanuts. Reeces give you the peanut butter. Chocolate goes without saying. Raisins from the Raisinettes. Maybe a few Gummy Bears and some malted milk balls. You can get salt from pretzels if you like, or you can be really bold and use popcorn. If I’ve done my math right, this critter at a theater would run about $250.

    Pure profit, baby …

  25. Thanks for the tip. I found the Take 5 quite delicious, though not up to the buildup it had acquired in my mind after a few days of not finding it. Maybe keeping an idiot in suspense starts bringing in diminishing returns if you do it for too long.

    Mr Tooth Decay, I’m with you on the Wendy’s Frosty, but it’s been years since I’ve been in a Wendy’s. Don’t be said by me; I don’t think the fast food market’s been any good since they closed the Roy Rogers on the Garden State Parkway.

  26. “I found the Take 5 quite delicious, though not up to the buildup it had acquired in my mind after a few days of not finding it. Maybe keeping an idiot in suspense starts bringing in diminishing returns if you do it for too long.”

    This is known as the ‘Batman’ phenomenon. Given enough hype, anything can suck when you actually experience it.

  27. The Take 5 is hands down the best candy invention of the last five years. All you haters out there are obviously Soviet spies.

  28. Since it’s only a pile of simple items, can’t you just make an equivalent snack?

  29. >Thanks ariben. You killed my news flash joke. 🙁

    >:)

    Shame on you for not fact checking your story. Next thing you know, you’ll be working at the NY Times.

  30. They’ve been here in Carolina for months now, and I’ve got to say, they are my new favorite. Best candy to come out of Hershey in years. My only criticism is that they come packaged in two’s like an Almond Joy or something. They should make it into a solid bar and give us that one extra bite. As good as it is, it still doesn’t approach the perfect crispy chocolate goodness of a Kit Kat from the UK.

  31. My cousin married a girl from Australia, and when her mother came to visit, the mother got hooked on Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Apparently they’re a delicacy not obtainable in Australia. Down There, peanut butter is considered a “savory” or salty food, and Aussies wouldn’t normally think of mixing a “savory” with chocolate. (I keep forgetting to ask whether this means they don’t have chocolate-covered peanuts, chocolate-covered pretzels, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches Down Under. I they do eat peanut butter and butter sandwiches.)

    Just a bit of transPacific candy trivia. And appreciate your peanut butter/chocolate combos that you can’t necessarily find in other lands.

  32. Jason Ligon: This is known as the ‘Batman’ phenomenon. Given enough hype, anything can suck when you actually experience it.

    That’s how it usually goes. But there is also an inverse phenomenon where, if you hype something enough and let the anticipation build for long enough, plus mix in some childhood nostalgia, the final product can suck but people will still accept it gratefully. This is known as the “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” phenomenon.

  33. Back on the candy front:

    I can’t help but notice that the new trends in candy are to do one of two things:

    1) Make a ____ Crisp version. These all taste better to me. The Snickers Crunch is better by a long shot than the Snickers Bar. Ditto Butterfinger crunch. If this trends hold, it will be like I always suspected – Whatchamacalit was a decade or more ahead of its time and deserves more credit for being one of the great candybar concepts of all time.

    2) Take a rich candybar and put it into a Bites format. Heath Bites are almost the best thing going in candy right now, if you ask me.

    I take these developments as unmitigated positives, as for years I could never find a satisfactory answer to the question “How can anyone eat a whole 3 Musketeers or Milky Way without getting tired of it 3/4 through the thing?” I lost sleep, I tell ya …

  34. Try the Albertson’s at Saratoga Ave and Lawrence Expy. Oh, wait, never mind. That’s in San Jose.

  35. “It’s got five daring ingredients, including peanuts and peanut butter, a combination of practically Romanov decadence. I’m ready to bite”

    Expect offers from ad agencies to come rolling in for Tim tomorrow morning!

    We have ’em in Boston.
    Haven’t felt the urge to try one yet: maybe I will now.

    All of these comments only suggest one thing to me: Tim is obviously now accepting money to advertise for companies on Hit and Run. I know this is a Libertarian web site, but isn’t accepting payola for candy a new low? For shame, Tim. For shame.

  36. Whatchamacalit was a decade or more ahead of its time and deserves more credit for being one of the great candybar concepts of all time.

    I though I was the only person that appreciated the greatness of the Whatchamacalit. It’s my candy bar of choice and people always ask, “What is that?” and “Is it any good?” When they try it, they are inevitably converted to the righteous. I blame the shitty commercials at its release for its lackluster market penetration, but it also means they never run out at the gas station where I get my cigarettes for “cheap”. ($3 for a pack Camel Lights, which is practically giving them away by CA standards)

  37. Also, they now have the King Size Whatchamacalit at said gas station, meaning that thewir popularity is rising per Jason’s prediction.

  38. “Nothing’s better than a Kit Kat from the UK.”

    Kit Kat’s are licensed from Nestle by Hershey Foods Corp. and manufactured in their Reese’s plant in the US, whre all good snack foods are made: Pennsylvania. In the space of 5 miles there is a Hugs and Kisses plant, the Reese’s plant, the Hershey Chocolate (bar) plant. They also make Twizzler’s (Y & S candies license), York Peppermint Patties (York, PA), and down the road a ways is the M & M / Mars plant.

    Pennsylvania is known for its local system of small dairy farms which can be known to produce the highest-quality ice cream ingredients. Local is better (similar in to the boutique-quality of Quakerstate Oil, or sourdough pretzels, or a Philly cheesesteak, or the 20 varieties of local chips and condiments that have their own unique audience).

    Food really is better in Pennsylvania. I would have no idea of the difference in culinary and confectionary nuance between the UK and US versions of Kit Kat, however.

  39. Is it just me, or did Whatchamacallits not have the caramel when they first came out, back in, like, the late 70’s or whenever? Coulda sworn I liked ’em better without the caramel obscuring the crunch.
    And, speaking of caramel, whatever happened to the Marathon bar? Also from the 70s, it was practically a foot long, very thin, just chocolate covered caramel. Great when frozen!
    Mmmmm…candy….

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