Lebanese-American Rageaholics, or, The Guys Get Shirts

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When it was just Casey Kasem's Snuggles explosion, it seemed like a fluke. But when Paul Anka slices like a fucking hammer, I start to wonder if there's some kind of cultural unconscious in celebrity shitstorms. I honor Anka's role in ending the Cold War as much as anybody, but the evidence is starting to pile up: Darrell Issa's Air France tantrum, countless John Sununu tirades on Crossfire… Is anybody watching Marlo Thomas for the warning signs?

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  1. Not to mention Ralph Nader’s insistence on playing spoiler.

  2. Is it too much to ask that Tim Cavanaugh write a blog entry that, amongst the daring puns and hip cultural references, actually makes sense?

  3. No Lebanese connection, but in the “obscure pop-reference goes on swearing tirade”:

    http://www.biggerthanabreadbox.com/yngwie_tokyo_flight.mp3

    Release the fury!

    In other news, I just overheard the 7 year old neighbor girl singing “walking on sunshine.” What kind of abusive parent exposes their kids to Katrina and the Waves? You know she didn’t pick that up on the playground. I’m calling DCS.

  4. Guys, Ace was onto this a year ago. Keep up with the times, guys. Next you’ll be quoting “All your base…”

  5. Let’s not forget who raised the spit take to an art form:

    http://tvwiki.sytes.net/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpitTake

  6. OK, I finally had a chance to listen to the Paul Anka sound-clip. What an asshole. What a dipshit fucking asshole.

  7. John Sununu is actually Palestinian-American (true), but he plays a Lebanese American on TV.

  8. That’s “Lebanese-CANADIAN” to you…

    Paul Anka born: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada – July 30, 1941

  9. Wow, what an asshole!

    I can’t believe it wasn’t worth it to any of those guys to not just crush his fucking skull with a lead pipe, just to put an end to his shitty tirade. He couldn’t have been paying them that much, could he?

  10. I think you guys are underestimating what a successful act Anka has. And we have multiple witnesses testifying that the checks never bounce. I’ll bet those guys are doing pretty well for all the abuse.

    It’s not like he’d be unique among asshole bandleaders. James Brown is known for docking band members’ pay when they miss a beat-and supposedly he throws in random kicks and unannounced changes to try and make them miss beats. Elvis was rumored to be similarly tough on Scotty and Bill and DJ. These guys are geniuses. Their ways are not our ways. In the long run, the pushy, unlikeable assholes nobody likes in bands always end up vindicated. Everybody hated Geri Halliwell too, but the Spice Girls didn’t make it a week after she left.

    You gotta break a few eggs…

  11. The Rep. Issa story linked from the AP is extremely misleading, almost to the point of propaganda. I was denied boarding on an Air France Dulles to Paris leg after arriving a mere thirty seconds after the one hour lock out time. They rudely informed me that I would have to wait for the next flight. I spoke to a supervisor who informed me that Air France has a strict one hour advanced counter check in policy and that they make no exceptions (they denied boarding to and executive of US Steel who was in line behind me!) For all of us who were trying to make the connection, frustration was high but none of us were Lebanese or otherwise “ethnically suspect.” It ain’t profiling, just an arbitrary and annoying airling policy, idiosyncratic to Air France but uniformly and ruthlessly enforced!!

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