Friday Fun Link

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The world's most patriotic squirrel. Careful—you could surf this site for hours.

NEXT: No Time Enough for That Much Love

Matt Welch is an editor at large at Reason.

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  1. Squirrels is varmits. Taint nutten funny bout em.

  2. smacky

    Dear Lord, I’ve seen it all, now.

  3. smacky

    BTW, Matt, I just saw your bio picture on the Reason website….I like your glasses. Black and white photographs make everyone look really cool.

  4. Syd

    I was watching Rat Race again the other day. I picture the Kathy Bates character as the operator of this site.

  5. Syd — Actually, if you click on the link, you’ll find the proprietor even *more* interesting….

  6. Dave Straub

    My eyes! Ze goggles, zey do nothing!!

  7. Stevo Darkly

    Isn’t that Jefferson Starship?

  8. Chuck

    Somebody has WAY too much free time. Of course, it’s in Boca Raton…

  9. Wayward Farker

    RE: The Proprietor

    I would have hit it.

  10. Chuck

    Matt,

    I just looked at the site owner’s page. I agree with Dave. I think she’s the love child of Tammy Faye Bakker and the shover robot.

  11. kmw

    “Calling Secret Squirrel. Come in Secret Squirrel.”

    Somebody has way too much time on their hands

  12. titty cat

    The pope just died, what better way to show respect than by dressing up a squirrel like him. Does anyone know what a depressed squirrel looks like? It says she rescued the squirrel from a tree, I feel bad for this squirrel.

  13. Jim Walsh

    Speaking of squirrels (and people with too much free time on their hands):

    http://www.threebrain.com/weeeeee.shtml

  14. dhex

    squirrels are awesome.

  15. Coarsetad

    Rescued it from a tree?! Squirrels live in trees! Sounds more like a kidnapping to me.

  16. smacky

    The pope just died, what better way to show respect than by dressing up a squirrel like him.

    Some might say it’s a rather classy tribute.

    …but I don’t.

  17. I’ve got about five squirrels living in the olive trees of my backyard. None of them dress up like the pope, at least during daylight hours.

  18. smacky

    This is the sort of frivolous website wherein my boss would walk up to my desk behind me while I was intently looking at it. Whereby I would become very flustered with nervous laughter.

    Therefore, it passes the “Is it really a Friday Fun Link?” test, in my book.

  19. This story turned out better than one here (Texas Hill Country) a couple of years back. One of our local tree-huggers was dismayed at the number of squirrels that fall from telephone and power lines and end up in Furry Heaven. He was out walking one day and spotted one clinging on and about to fall, so he rushed over and caught it.

    The critter, of course, returned the blessing by mascerating the hand that saved him.

    The hugger was shocked, shocked, at the sheer ingratitude of the beast.

    OTOH, in this case the caretaker of the companion animal has entertained troops and photographs her friend driving tanks (where Sugar Bush far outshines a politician who shall remain nameless) so maybe Kelly is a tad more realistic than our nimrod.

  20. E. Steven

    How the friggin’ hell do you get a sweater on a squirrel without getting your eyes clawed out!?

    BTW, I was disappointed she didn’t do a Terri Schiavo tribute.

  21. dead_elvis

    Sugar Bush needs to hang out in my backyard. She’ll have fun playing a game of “get to the tree before the dog shreds me”.

  22. J

    Wow, this is the first Friday fun link I’ve seen in a long time that matches the high standards set by the pusher and shover robots (although in fairness to the good people at H&R I have to say I don’t follow the blog nearly as closely as I used to). I congratulate you, sirs, on successfully wasting twenty minutes of my Friday afternoon work time on a squirrel fetishist. (And the “Weeeee!” song was absolutely hilarious.)

  23. Kent Brockman

    I, for one, welcome our new nut-hording overlords.

  24. SR

    “The critter, of course, returned the blessing by mascerating the hand that saved him.”

    Larry, I think you mean “masticating” the hand that saved him; unless you’re trying to imply that the squirrel made his hand “soft by soaking or steeping in a liquid”.

  25. J

    “…unless you’re trying to imply that the squirrel made his hand “soft by soaking or steeping in a liquid”.”

    I wouldn’t put anything past those devious little bastards. Did you see that kung-fu kick by Sugar Bush Squirrel?

  26. Mo

    Am I the only one that was disappointed that the Terri Schaivo memorial post didn?t include a picture of a squirrel with a feeding tube? I mean, if the pope is worthy of ?honoring? with a squirrel, isn?t Terri?

  27. smacky

    Mo,

    I understand your outrage, and I, too, think it’s a total travesty. I think this is the forces of sexist discrimination at work here.

  28. Ken Shultz

    Forget Schaivo–how ’bout a Lyndie England Squirrel!

    …I can see it now. A rootin’, tootin’, smokin’ Lyndie Squirrel, right in front of a big pyramid of naked squirrels. …or maybe a hooded, naked squirrel with electrodes on its hands!

  29. Coarsetad

    by naked, do you mean shaved squirrels?

  30. tsiroth

    I once dated an avid hunter. One time he cooked me honey basted squirrel legs. They were suprisingly tasty.

  31. Shawn Smith

    1000+ outfits — yeah she has too much time and money on her hands.

  32. Ken Shultz

    “by naked, do you mean shaved squirrels?”

    No, not shaved! …Maybe I should have given some details…

    All the tortured squirrels would all be naked, but Lyndie Squirrel would have all her clothes on.

  33. crimethink

    I suspect SBS must have been rescued when he was a baby squirrel — that would explain why he is comfortable around humans.

    But I’m just waiting for the remake of Team America with squirrels instead of puppets.

  34. y'know it

    Sugar Kerry Squirrel would have been much worse…

  35. kevrob

    I’m almost with kmw. Secret Squirrel is by far America’s second most patriotic tree rat. Plus, he’s got a bullet-proof coat, a cannon hat, machine gun cane, with a rat-tat-tat-tat!

    The greatest sciuridan-American is, of course, Slappy Squirrel!

    Perhaps Hanna-Barbera can cast Sugar Bush as Agent Penny in a live action Secret Squirrel summer blockbuster.

    Kevin

  36. Ken Shultz

    “Perhaps Hanna-Barbera can cast Sugar Bush as Agent Penny in a live action Secret Squirrel summer blockbuster.”

    Live action Secret Squirrel could be the new Lancelot Link!

    P.S. Was it ever formally confirmed that Steppenwolf was Lancelot Link and the Evolution Revolution?

  37. Ken Shultz

    I’d always thought it sounded like John Kay, but it wasn’t just that. It was the organ and the lead guitar too–I would have sworn it was Steppenwolf. …Alas, I was wrong.

    http://www.tvparty.com/70lance2.html

    If you go to the first part of the interview, it talks about how Lancelot Link was created and written by a couple of writers from Get Smart, which I would put in my top ten television shows of all time.

    …So Lancelot Link really was a spoof of a spoof!

  38. Pig Mannix

    Well, here’s my favorite squirrel tribute page.

  39. kevrob

    Scroll down to the 8th paragraph, here. It explains why this very helpful page is called netsquirrel.com .

    Kevin

  40. too many steves

    Hey, with a name like Sugar Bush isn’t this squirrel more likely a stripper or hooker rather than a clothing supermodel? I mean, Sugar Bush reeks of “stage name” to me.

  41. Mr. Nice Guy

    Seeing the squirrel dressed as the Holy Father kinda answers the question “Does the Pope shit in the woods”..

  42. Sandy

    Another Squirrel site:

    http://www.scarysquirrel.org/

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