End Times, Koranic Edition

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The United States will be destroyed in 2007 by tsunamis, according to Palestinian Koranic scholar Ziad Silwadi. He is convinced that passages in the Koran that deal with the divine punishment of terrible sin are actually about the U.S.; in the usual manner of millennialists, Silwadi has performed a series of arcane calculations to arrive at the precise date of catastrophe. He's published his findings because "what is about to happen is extremely shocking and frightening."

Silwadi thinks the proud and arrogant U.S. will be drowned for its many sins, in the same way that proud and arrogant Pharaoh was drowned. However, the scholar seems to have mixed feelings about the matter. "[T]he world would be better off with a US that is not a superpower and that does not take advantage of weak nations," he says. On the other hand, "The world will certainly lose a lot if and when this disaster occurs because of the great services that American society has rendered to the economy, industry and science."

The Jerusalem Post reports that his study "has caught the attention of millions of Muslims worldwide," whatever that means.

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  1. I guess every country has its Kansas.

  2. However, the scholar seems to have mixed feelings about the matter.

    Translation: He wants the notoriety and status asociated with making such claims, but doesn’t want to jinx his chances of getting a US visa and moving to the Upper East Side in the future.

  3. Heeheheheheeheheheeheheheeh!

    Wipeout!

  4. I’m waxing my board dude.

  5. I guess it’s plausible that an angry God could wipe out the coasts with tsunamis, but how would that get us rubes in flyover country? (Granted, remove the coasts from the US and we’d have a GDP more like Poland).

    Anyone know who the current Antichrist is supposed to be? Back when I watched Jack Van Impe religiously it was Gorbachev for a while, then the King of Spain (the EU = the Beast with 12 heads), then Saddam. Then I got out of the habit in the early 90s. I have read on the internets that the Pope thought Bush was the Antichrist, which is not implausible.

  6. Hopefully lots of people will take this warning seriously; i’m in the market for a beach house. I say we propagate the shit out of this study. If the freakout factor gets high enough i might be able to afford someplace nice, like Tybee Island, instead of Carolina Beach.

  7. So, will these tsunamis kill everyone in the US, including those in, say, Denver? Or will they just wipe out the federal government? I’m looking for a silver lining here. πŸ˜‰

  8. Brian,

    Van Impe’s still keying in on the EU as the organization from which the Antichrist will arise. I watch him occasionally, for humor-based rather than faith-based reasons.

  9. “[T]he world would be better off with a US that is not a superpower and that does not take advantage of weak nations,” he says. On the other hand, “The world will certainly lose a lot if and when this disaster occurs because of the great services that American society has rendered to the economy, industry and science.”
    -+++++++++++++++++++++++

    Actually, this seems like a pretty fair assessment, especially coming from a religious k00k.

  10. You know, the Heaven’s Gate cult “caught the attention of millions” of Americans nationwide. Islam is not immune from having it’s own nutjobs.

    On the note that it will kill those on the coast, doesn’t it follow that those that opposed the Iraq are worthy of death?

  11. Doh! It saved my name from yesterday’s joke post.

  12. phocion

    Man, don’t you know Denver’s doomed when the Yellowstone Caldera blows. πŸ™‚

    Seriously though this guy is kind of interesting. When there really are dire local seismic threats in the US tsunamis are pretty much a non-threat. (I realize that there is still great property damage potential on the West Coast but with the warning system, loss of life should be minimal).

    If I leave Florida it’ll be because of the weird mix of Republican christers and Democrat geezers. They’re capable of way more havoc than a tsunami. πŸ™‚

  13. Yeah, Jack, Rexella, and that Chuck guy who looks like one of the Righteous Brothers (I think the one who croaked not that long ago) put on quite an entertaining show. Like Jimmy Swaggert, who used to be an awesome orator back in the 80s. I mean that unironically . . . his personal issues have knocked the puff out of him though.

  14. When there really are… shouldread while there really are….

  15. And on the “Bush as Antichrist” angle, although Google will get you a shitload of hits with thoae two words, this one is one of the most influential:

    http://www.covenantnews.com/baldwin020412.htm

    along with this related follow-up:

    http://www.covenantnews.com/baldwin041020.htm

    The author of these pieces, a minister, was the VP candidate for the Constitution Party in 2004. Although he’s a religious wacko, he is not an unthoughtful man. Consider these, for example:

    http://www.covenantnews.com/baldwin050201.htm

    http://www.covenantnews.com/baldwin050104.htm

    Finally, on the Bush as Beast angle, there is an article from December in the Seattle Weekly that was amusing–if you don’t take the crazy Christian “Left Behind” definition of “Antichrist”, GWB sure seems to fit:

    http://www.seattleweekly.com/features/0449/041208_news_antichrist.php

    Hail Satan, y’all!

  16. It’s weird to watch Van Impe & how excited he gets when he thinks he has another piece of the puzzle that’ll bring on the end of the world.

    I say relax, Jack, have a beer, and see if Rexalla will put on a red wig, just for something a little different.

  17. Someone needs to put together a Jack Van Impe drinking game. You know, drink whenever:

    – The camera starts to zoom in on Jack
    – The EU is mentioned
    – Jack quotes Scripture from memory
    – Rexella acts subservient
    – Chuck Ohman appears
    etc.

    The game automatically ends and there’s a trip to the hospital for a stomach pumping if anyone remarks that Rexella is hot.

  18. I remember a show on the Discovery Channel in January that talked about the really TALL (200 ft+) tsunamis that result from big, fast landslides. It was speculating that a chunk of Greenland could do that and wipe out large sections of the east coast. I don’t think it likely because it obviously hasn’t happened in the last 400 years, but it did have some interesting graphics and simulations.

  19. Shawn

    But it has happened in the last 400 years.

  20. Actually, Tsunamis wrecking big sections of the US is not totally impossible. Check out the “Flush” section of:

    http://www.exitmundi.nl/exitmundi.htm

    My father-in-law has a PHD in geology, and says that this is a realistic scenario. Not *likely* but possible.

  21. Oh, you mean that to that specific area. Hey, c’mon the Discovery Channel needs to make some money. Causing irrational fear is a great way to raise cash.

  22. “My father-in-law has a PHD in geology, and says that this is a realistic scenario. Not *likely* but possible”

    What’s NOT a realistic scenario is some ancient book predicting that it will happen in a specific year to a country that didn’t exist at the time the book was written.

    Of course tsunamis could hit any coast. Duh.

    And soon, we’ll have tiny, genetically altered monkeys with wings that WILL, in fact, be able to fly out of my butt.

  23. Worm,

    I was addressing Issac’s 11:18 comment that ” in the US tsunamis are pretty much a non-threat. (I realize that there is still great property damage potential on the West Coast but with the warning system, loss of life should be minimal).”

    I never stated, implied, or believed that the prediction has any validity, just that it could/will happen, and will likely kill lots of people when it does.

    So turn the sarcam meter back down a notch.

  24. Anvil — sorry you thought the sarcasm was directed at you — i was just using your statement as the launch pad for a shot at the original dope who came up with the “US doomed in ’07” prediction. Just saying “of course it’s possible we can get a tsunami, but that guy’s still full of shit.” Basically.

  25. “And there shall be great suffering, sort of, possibly.”

    –Isaac 11:18, The Book of Reason

  26. Worm,

    No harm, no foul. πŸ™‚

  27. Just watch, this will happen on the first day of the 2007 Masters, although “tsunami” would beat seeing “rain and darkness” for the umpteenth time on ESPN News.

  28. I saw a documentary that referenced a mountain slipping off one of the Canary Island which could cause a tsumami to wipe out the east coast of the USA.

    Brian, I never saw Van Impe call Gorbachev the anti-christ. However, a king from a northern country, Gog and Magog, will lead an attach on Israel. This is not the same as the anti-christ.

  29. “Gog and Magog”

    Hey wait a minute…. “Gog and Magog” sounds a lot like… ChicAGo… and that’s where Hillary Clinton comes from (when she’s not impersonating a New Yorker, Arkansan, or Washingtonian).

    Damn… ya’ll KNOW there’s $ 10 million in book sales just SITTING out there for the first person who can hastily scotch-tape together a book “proving” “scientifically” and (most important of all) “scripturally” that Hillary is the antichrist, don’tcha?

    Ready… set… gog! I mean, Go!

  30. Sorry, worm, but apparently you have forgotten the divinely inspired words of Jerry Falwell, who declared in 1999 that the Antichrist is “a Jewish male who probably is alive today.” Fortunately, Hillary is not Jewish.

    http://www.sptimes.ru/archive/times/441/eye/

  31. All religion is perpetrated and populated by nut jobs. It’s just a matter of degree. Witness the insane hero worship over a dead pope by supposedly sane Catholics. Jeez, what friggin’ century is this anyway?

  32. Henry,

    I recall hearing prophecy freak Jimmy DeYoung take a phone call from someone asking if Joe Lieberman was the Antichrist (must have been a video game developer). DeYoung responded that it was impossible because Lieberman is a Jew and the Antichrist is not.

    Different strokes, I guess.

  33. Be sure to plan your dream vacation for 2006 or earlier.

  34. Ok, so maybe I got my antichrists, beasts, false prophets, beasts with 12 heads (different from the Beast?), whores of Babylon, and Gogs and Magogs a little confused.

    There used to be this televangelist. I’m thinking lat 80s. He was pretty old so he might not be around anymore. He’d have shows on at 5am and would accompany his rantings with drawings someone had done of the End Time figures. His catchphrase was “I’ll see you next week or I’ll see you in Heaven!” Wish I could remember his name.

  35. Mullah Omar predicted in October 2001 that the US woulod cease to exist as a political entity by Decmeber 2001 (I’m still looking for that link, it was an interview with some magazine).

    I hope this guy is as accurate as the ole Mullah!

  36. So, will these tsunamis kill everyone in the US, including those in, say, Denver? Or will they just wipe out the federal government? I’m looking for a silver lining here.

    Wiping out (well, most of it) the federal government us is a delightful yearning but, of course, it must be done with the vote so no one gets hurt.

    Actually, the entire Denver area was once the beach of a great inland sea that covered Colorado 70 million years ago. When the modern Rocky Mountains were formed, part of the beach compressed into soft red rocks that were pushed up at an angle to form Red Rocks Park. Dinosaur Ridge, just next to Red Rocks Park, is the site where the first large dinosaur fossils in the world were discovered. Red Rocks is just 12 miles from downtown Denver.

  37. Mullah Omar predicted in October 2001 that the US woulod cease to exist as a political entity by Decmeber 2001
    Is Mullah Omar related to Baghdad Bob (the Iraqi Info Minister)? They should hire him as the weatherman for al-Jazeera.

  38. guy in the bback row: This is probably what you are thinking of–Robert Fisk interviewing the Mullah for BBC:

    Fisk: What do you mean by the destruction of America? Do you have a concrete plan to implement this?

    Omar: The plan is going ahead and, God willing, it is being implemented.

    But it is a huge task, which is beyond the will and comprehension of human beings.

    If God’s help is with us, this will happen within a short period of time; keep in mind this prediction.

    Fisk: Osama Bin Laden has reportedly threatened that he would use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against America. Is your threat related to his?

    Omar: This is not a matter of weapons. We are hopeful for God’s help. The real matter is the extinction of America. And, God willing, it [America] will fall to the ground.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/1657368.stm

  39. …of course that should have just been: “Wiping out (well, most of it) the federal government is a delightful yearning but, of course, it must be done with the vote so no one gets hurt.”

    Is there anything about the tsunamis that would cause get me to start using the Preview button?

  40. He’s just heard about that mountainside in the Canary Islands that’s waiting to fall off and launch the giant East-Coast drenching tunami.

    I think my friends in Illinois are safe, though.

  41. So, if the US is tsunami-free in 2007, will this guy become an atheist, or will he just revise his interpretation?

  42. “So, if the US is tsunami-free in 2007, will this guy become an atheist, or will he just revise his interpretation?”

    Leon Festinger et al’s *When Prophecy Fails* coudl be relevant here. (It found that the failure of a specific propehcy could actually *strengthen* the sect that had proposed it…)

    By the way, getting back to Omar Mullah: I’m surprised more isn’t made of the US failure to find *him*. I mean at least bin Laden isn’t *blind*…

  43. Barry:

    Your flatlander friends have enough to worry about, what with the New Madrid Fault, and all.

    So, if conquering other people’s land and kidnapping people into slavery pisses Allah off so much that he goes back on his word to Abraham not to drown humanity again, why aren’t the Arabs in for a drenching? It’s not like the North Africans invited them over to share rent and utilities. Muslims were pretty involved in the slave trade, too, In fact some of them are still at it in parts of Africa. It must be that “it’s OK to treat the infidel like property” exemption in the Koran, or something.

    Completing the lunacy is the reliance on gematria to prove it all. Is there anything stupider than using numerology to extract meaning from a text?

    Kevin

  44. …his word to Abraham not to drown humanity again…

    Don’t you mean Noah.

    I feel slightly embarassed about commenting without observing the absurdity of this “prophecy”. There are obviously well-founded threats of natural disasters everywhere. Hell three hurricanes hit my house in a six-week period last year (but I know God does hate me. But thinking the info is in the rantings of a desert theocrat is pretty stupid.

    I actually shouldn’t have been quite so dismissive of the danger to both coasts from tsunamis.

    Re the New Madrid Fault: I didn’t realze how widespread earthquake activity is in North America until about 30 years ago when the steel company I worked for installed seismic joints in a building they were erecting for the Canadian Govt in Ottawa. It was the last place I expected geologic instability. Instead it’s very unstable. and displayed it in the 80s with a quite strong quake up and down a line thru Ottawa River/Lk Champlain/Hudson River. It was felt in both Montreal and NYC (another palce I didn’t think was seismically vulnerable). I don’t know exactly where the faultlne is but I think the line above is close.

    Then Mt St Helen’s put the icing on the cake. I think most people were compleately unaware of the dormant volcanos on the west coast, let alone realized they could erupt again.

    Hence my crack above about the Yellowstone Caldera.

  45. Don’t you mean Noah. – Isaac B.

    Good catch.

    Like the generals preparing for the last war, we tend to worry about the whuppin’ Ma Nature gave us most recently. Then something that happens every 100 years gets us good.

    Kevin

  46. really a terrible talk.related to religious belief.but when it comes to catastrophe i don’t believe that at all.

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