Where's That Sack of Dead Rats When You Need it?

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Jesus Kee-RIST what a blood-scalding thing it is to watch 11 nearly consecutive hours of the People's House at "work"…. I can't think of a single person on the House Committee on Government Reform who I do not, at this moment, hate.

I know y'all are bored speechless by the subject matter at hand, so I'll just leave you with this non-sporting observation: There was not one word spoken today by our congresspersons (unless it was when I was at the doctor) expressing even the slightest hint of concern over governmental over-reach, personal privacy, collective bargaining rights, or the proper orientation of a committee dedicated to "government reform." I know, I know, shocker. But to hear John Sweeney (R-N.Y.) say things like "people aren't particularly interested in the privacy aspects when kids are dying," or Darrel Issa (R-Calif.) say that Congress will probably have "no choice" but to either re-write collective bargaining law wholesale or impose new blanket federal regulations on all sports (while Democrat Henry Waxman pressed witnesses on the all-important issue of statistical asterisks), it makes me long for a real opposition party, one which actually opposes intrusive government, instead of merely mouthing the stuff once per election cycle and counting on the historical sympathies of those who take it more seriously. And it also makes me relieved, for about the 572nd time, that I don't observe or care about the workings of government on a full-time basis. No wonder there are so many libertarians in D.C….

NEXT: "And you would be flabbergasted at the number of bicycles that are half-human"

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  1. Just remember, Matt, Kerry would’ve been much worse.

  2. Is professional athletes’ use of steroids setting a bad example for the children because kids might use steriods, or because kids might think they can decide something for themselves?

  3. Jefferson had the right idea: a revolution every couple of decades or so…

  4. Jim Walsh,

    “Rally around the [redacted], with a pocket full of shells…” 🙂

  5. a lot of sports fans seem kinda into it though. that seems to break down on party lines, however.

    if the republicans keep winning we might see an opposition party in eight years.

  6. I like the phrase, but confess that I don’t get the reference. Googling “sack of dead rats” gives some interesting results, including several references to a pilates video:

    My buttocks which looked like a sack of dead rats are now perky, tight & smooth.

    I’m guessing that this is not what you had in mind!

  7. It’s within the Google top 10, if indeed I’m getting the phrase right (it might have been “live” rats…).

  8. Just saw this: “The chairman of the congressional panel vowing to get to the bottom of baseball’s steroids scandal – and four of his committee members – have taken campaign cash from Major League Baseball.”

    Say it ain’t so, Joe!

    http://news.bostonherald.com/national/view.bg?articleid=73727

  9. Yet if a citizen wood-burned the Ninth and Tenth Amendments onto a baseball bat, and started knocking committee members in the back of the head with it, the poor citizen would get turned into the bad guy in the papers.

  10. Matt W., I’m not finding your phrase about a sack of live or dead rats.

    The ancient Romans used to punish parricide by sewing the offender into a sack with a dog, a rooster, a viper and an ape, and throwing it into a river. Is that what you’re thinking of, in connection with these Congressional grand-standers? (It sounds fair to me, except I’d feel sorry for the rooster, viper, dog and ape.)

  11. Most politicians need reform. The type they might get in a ‘reform school’

  12. Baseball has the money to take care of the politicians so it’ll stop after the grandstanding and cameras leave. I’m more worried about the mischief their creating around the Schrivo woman in Florida. They are whipped into an evangelical frenzy over that passing bills in the house and senate yesterday.

    The GOP is drunk on power and the Democrats impotent to stop and too many so called ‘centrists’ willing to go along thinking it will help in their relection.

  13. DOC: concur. I live in Florida and have been following this case for years. The medical professionals say that this woman is brain dead with no chance of regaining consiousness. Money from an insurance settlement that was paying the bills is gone and medicade is paying the bill to keep a veg alive-if being brain dead can be considered alive.

    The only good thing that I can see from this case is that it gave me a incentive to make out a living will. I damn sure don’t want to kept on a feeding tube if I am ever in this state. I don’t want my family to be put through this kind of mental torture, let alone the expense.

  14. “Reform” is just another word for “Who can we harass into giving us campaign contributions?”

  15. “The ancient Romans used to punish parricide by sewing the offender into a sack with a dog, a rooster, a viper and an ape, and throwing it into a river”.

    Stevo,
    Pardon my ignorance sir, but what is “parricide”? Is it killing your parrot? Because if it is, we Buffett fans (that’s Jimmy, not Warren) aren’t going to take this lying down!
    Could you have meant patricide?

  16. Mojoe:

    Patricide refers specifically to the murder of your father (matricide being its counterpart for murdering your mother).

    Parricide is the correct term when you’re referring more generally to the murder of either parent.

  17. Re: The bag of rats… Are you sure you’re not referring to Ferrett Bagging?

  18. Thank you Webster.

  19. I’d rather off the parrots. Noisy bastards at best.

  20. Or crows, thieving bastards.

  21. Pardon my ignorance sir, but what is “parricide”? Is it killing your parrot? Because if it is, we Buffett fans (that’s Jimmy, not Warren) aren’t going to take this lying down!

    Us Warren Buffett fans aren’t going to stand for it, either! (for the record)

  22. The best/wort part was when Schilling was asked why some people would think this whole charade is a waste of time and he answered that those types must be Democrats or the media.

    It’s nice when they admit that the Republicans are no longer the small government party.

  23. Looks like Congress is on top of things as always.

    1) baseball already changed its drug policy
    2) Jose Canseco already outed the cheaters in his tell all tome
    3) the time to look into whether Sosa and McGwire were cheating in 1998 would have been approximately…. 1998.
    4) unless this has something to do with “interstate commerce” :rolleyes: what the eff does this have to do with… whatever it is the constitution says congress is supposed to do?

  24. And WTF does any of this have to do with “Government Reform” anyhow? “Illogical, illogical, cannot relate…(smoke streaming from ears)”

    Arrggh!!!

  25. Hey, you guys, it could be worse. There are a lot sillier things Congress might do, but doesn’t.

    Like what? (Pauses.) Well, subpoenaing severely brain-damaged people to testify…

    They did? Never mind….

  26. I just came across a quote from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch suggesting that there’s at least one congressman who’s questioning Congress’ role in this circus:

    ?I think there’s been a total failure to justify why these subpoenas are necessary,? Rep. Paul E. Kanjorski (D-Pa.) told the Philadelphia Inquirer. ?It appears to be a publicity stunt . . . We’ve got hundreds of thousands of people dying from disease. We’ve got thousands of people in harm’s way and war contractors stealing us blind. We’ve never exercised subpoenas on them. What are our standards coming to be??

  27. J – Looks more like Rep. Kanjorski just thinks they’re goring the wrong oxen, not objecting to to the goring itself. -K

  28. “We’ve got thousands of people in harm’s way and war contractors stealing us blind. We’ve never exercised subpoenas on them.”

    That’s a cuz Tom Davis represents Defense Contractors in Congress, by way of the voters of Northern Defense Contractor Virginia. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain… look at these Famous Ball-Players – dressed up like real people, just like you n’ me! See, the system DOES work! Even the mighty ball-players hafta go in front of, er… Congress when they… um… commit federal drug crimes, just like… everybody else. Now we all know that that Halliburton stuff “never sticks” so why don’t we all gawk at the Ball-Players and shriek “WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN” and have some warm pablum before bed and forget all about that stolen tax money you’ll never miss and don’t really carea about.

  29. Wow, Gunnels is now throwing down RATM. You just never know what you’re gonna get. 😉

  30. J — Kanjorski’s skepticism disappeared entirely by the end of the hearing, giving way to an angry assertion of the committee’s authority to scream at whoever the hell they want under oath, and to (if need be!) simply write baseball’s drug policy himself.

  31. Did you know that Warren and Jimmy Buffett are distant cousins?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Buffett

  32. Pardon my ignorance sir, but what is “parricide”?

    I thought it meant “killing your parent” but when I looked it up, I found definitions that also included “killing any of your parents or grandparents” and even “killing a close relative” — so I gave up and just used the word “parricide” that I found in my original reference.

    Not to be confused with “Paris-cide,” which is defined as “traveling to a foreign city and killing a really snooty waiter.” (Haven’t gratuitously bashed France in over a week; sorry.)

  33. Wow! Rally around the Buffett-line!

  34. Stevo,
    Couldn’t “Paris-cide” also be the act of killing an airhead, no talent, self-promoting, porn starring heiress?

  35. Jimmy is also related to Warren’s kid, Peter Buffet, who is a New Age musician and the honcho of Narada Records.

    If anybody would ever benefit from patricide…but, nah, he’s too nice a guy.

    Kevin

  36. What did you all think of McGwire? He has been labeled by the media thusly” “in the court of public opinion, he lost.” (ESPN “legal analyst”)

    “Are you taking the 5th?”

    “I’m not here to talk about the past…”

  37. “Paris-cide” is Latin for “Iliad”.

  38. But to hear John Sweeney (R-N.Y.) say things like “people aren’t particularly interested in the privacy aspects when kids are dying,”

    To what is the esteemed Rep. Sweeny referring? Jackshit, perhaps?

  39. MOJOE: Pardon my ignorance sir, but what is “parricide”? Is it killing your parrot? Because if it is, we Buffett fans (that’s Jimmy, not Warren) aren’t going to take this lying down!

    SH: Relax. The parrot’s not dead. He’s just resting.

  40. Couldn’t “Paris-cide” also be the act of killing an airhead, no talent, self-promoting, porn starring heiress?

    That definition is at least as good as mine. Plus, yours won’t offend anyone.

    Paris-cide” is Latin for “Iliad”.

    That is a literate and witty response, and earns a single raised eyebrow and a tip of the martini glass.

  41. This article was written nice ah!

  42. Este art?culo fue escrito ah bueno!

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