The Nine Billion Names of God: Part 2

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Some of you were whining that we didn't give you a Friday Fun Link yesterday. Fine—here's one for Saturday.

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  1. Harold

    “Our Father, who art in heaven,
    Harold be thy name.”

    Yeah, I know – the joke’s older than God…

  2. That link wasn’t all that fun…

  3. If you’re going to be like that, I don’t even want a Friday fun link. Or a Saturday fun link.

  4. Jerkhovah!

    Ha! Good one.

  5. Taking My Name in vain again, eh? Well, no Reeses Cups for you…

  6. This is totally off topic, but I just called in with the Ron Insana show and learned that Joe Piscipo is seriously considering running for governer of NJ on the libertarian ticket.

  7. Well, no Reeses Cups for you…

    Peanut butter cups, or peanut cups?

  8. Randolph Carter,

    Please don’t tempt them to start more New Jersey threads…

  9. Good old “name magic”. Don’t reveal your “real name”, because it gives the others power over you. So just how powerful can this YHVH feller be if using its name gives me power over it? I think YHVH pulled a fast one over the old Hebrews and has been having a good laugh at our expense ever since.

    The name magic might actually explain why YHVH has been conspicuously absent from human affairs for so long. Someone a long time ago told him to buzz off, using his name. And buzz off he did.

    Now if “name magic” only worked against statist politicians…

  10. Must be a Catholic thing. I don’t get it.

  11. At least He didn’t get any of His names the way his son did:

    When everyone was gathered ’round the manger, Mary asked for a name worthy of the Prince of Peace. After about five minutes of awkward silence, King Balthasar lost his patience and cried, “Can’t anybody think of a name? Jesus Christ!”

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. The conceptual-humor classics still work on me.

  12. I thought it was fucking brilliant.

  13. Has anyone seen Ken Shultz lately?

  14. If you’re going to give a nickname to God, I think it should have the zippy, affectionate irreverance of a name you’d give to a drinking buddy — but to be on the safe side, there should also be a hint that, underneath the apparent irreverance, you still recognize His awesome power as the Supreme Being and Judge of All.

    I suggest: The Smite-ster.

  15. Douglas Fletcher,

    Don’t fret. Catholics skip or censor all the juicy bits in the Bible. Its always amused me just how common it is for Jews and Christians to avoid, muddle up or simply expurgate the unsavory parts of the Bible, despite the fact that its supposed to the “revealed” word of God.

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  17. My dad always called him “Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ”.

    I’m not sure what the H. stood for though.

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