Oscars

Oscar Roundup '05

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Best Picture went to Million Dollar Baby, an assisted-suicide movie. Best Foreign Film went to The Sea Inside, an assisted-suicide movie. Conservatives are upset that there were no awards for The Passion of the Christ, their own assisted-suicide movie.

Sideways and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind won well-deserved Best Screenplay awards, demonstrating yet again that the writing categories are where the Academy votes its conscience. The least deserved award went to The Aviator's Cate Blanchett: Her impression of Katherine Hepburn was right up there with Martin Short's, but if you want to honor acting you should have given the prize to Virginia Madsen.

I'm sure that Martin Scorsese is disappointed he didn't get an Oscar for The Aviator, his Howard Hughes biopic. But I think Hughes himself would have been satisfied with those aerial shots of Sidney Lumet's daughters.

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  1. if you want to honor acting you should have given the prize to Virginia Madsen.

    It is certainly no easy feat for someone that gorgeous to pretend to be smitten with a self-obsessed fat balding English teacher.

  2. I get my ass kicked for three hours on film, and don’t pick up a single award?! Since when did any million-dollar baby wash away the sins of humanity with it’s blood? That Swank girl isn’t even that good-looking..

    That’s it. I’m canceling the second coming. You all can go piss up a rope.

  3. “Conservatives are upset that there were no awards for The Passion of the Christ, their own assisted-suicide movie.”

    That may be the funniest thing I’ve ever read on Hit and Run.

  4. I think that was Jenny Lumet with the ample talent on display. Funny thing, though, for a second I thought she Jennifer Coolidge!

  5. Dude, don’t post spoilers.

  6. Have the Oscars gotten more and more predictable over the years or have I just gotten smarter?

    Jesse, I wish I could post pictures in here, because your first paragraph deserves an ROFLcopter.

  7. A spoiler warning would have been nice.

  8. The Passion didn’t win anything because Jews run Hollywood and they hate The Passion and Mel Gibson

  9. The Oscars are about an insular industry with no actual importance giving itself awards. This is done without any quantifiable standards. Hollywood stands second only to professional sports for the title of most bloated self-important waste of time.
    Hollywood, however, doesn’t cooerce public money to do its dirty work.

  10. Hollywood, however, doesn’t cooerce public money to do its dirty work.
    Jeff, you obviously don’t live in California.

  11. In breaking news, Martin Scrosese said today that he is legally changing his name to Susan Lucci.

    “It’s a good Italian name,” the director said.

  12. –The Passion didn’t win anything because Jews run Hollywood and they hate The Passion and Mel Gibson

    I take it you’re not a Ron Jeremy fan.

  13. Is it possible that the Passion didn’t win anything because it’s kind of a crappy movie? Some middle eastern guy getting beaten up for two hours. If I wanted to see that I could go to Iraq.

    Anyway, I’ve been out of the loop, what has Eastwood done to render him a traitor and enemy of the state in the eyes of the wingnuts?

  14. I don’t agree with the Virginia Madsen thing. She was good, but she didn’t have a lot of screen time. I didn’t think she was especially more deserving of nomination than, say, Sandra Oh.

    I didn’t see the Aviator, so I can’t comment on robbery, but I even thought the nomination of Madsen was a little odd considering the role.

  15. “The Passion didn’t win anything because Jews run Hollywood and they hate The Passion and Mel Gibson”

    Really? Those bastards!

    So what?

  16. kwais writes:So what?

    Just pointing out why it didn’t win anything. Does the truth bother you?

  17. “Conservatives are upset that there were no awards for The Passion of the Christ, their own assisted-suicide movie.”

    As a practicing Catholic who has heard many good things about The Passion of the Christ, I feel I must tell you, in no uncertain terms, that that was in faqct a rather fucking funny line.

  18. Ack. Months of dilligently avoiding possible spoilers for ‘Million Dollar Baby’ down the drain.

    Many thanks, Jesse.

  19. BillyRay,

    All of what you said is probably true, except for the word “because.”

  20. You know, if you haven’t bothered to see Milion Dollar Baby by now, should you really care that much about being spoiled?

    I disagree about Cate Blanchett, I thought there was more to her performance than just mimickry. On the other hand, she’s probably my favorite actress working today.

    And you left out the most memorable point to me, which was Sean Penn demonstrating yet again that he shouldn’t be allowed to speak in public until he GETS OVER HIMSELF.

  21. It was fun to watch Hip Conservatives’ Favorite Black Man raining down hell on the president.

    If you were working at The Gap…

  22. Blanchett was outstanding was the far and away the most deserving of the nominees. It’s very difficult to immitate a known personality and have it work and she made it work. No immitation will ever be spot on. She did it as well as any one has in similar roles.

  23. –Just pointing out why it didn’t win anything. Does the truth bother you?

    I think ‘So What’ kind of tells you he doesn’t give a flying crap who runs Hollywood.

    All I can say is, whoever runs the joint should give us more overhead shots of Sidney Lumet’s daughters.

  24. I think Chris Rock should’ve said, “Settle down, you can’t talk to me the way you talk to Mr. Hand.” It probably would’ve gone over the head of most of the audience, but it would’ve peeved him good.

  25. In fact, every semi-hostile conversation with Penn should involve a reference to Fast Times

  26. BillyRay,

    Shut the fuck up you dumb racist redneck. All you have posted the last several weeks are neo-confederate, quasi-fascist bullshit. Why don’t you take the hood off and get into the 21st century.

  27. combustable writes: Shut the fuck up you dumb racist redneck. All you have posted the last several weeks are neo-confederate, quasi-fascist bullshit. Why don’t you take the hood off and get into the 21st century.

    Hot damn, an emotional type I can’t help but noticing.

    I defy you to find one racist quasi-fascist statement I’ve made on this forum. As for the neo-confederate stuff, yes, I guess I could be in the mold of Lord Acton

  28. BillyRay,
    I’ll bite. Tell me which categories it should have won and why it was superior to the nominees.

    Heck, I think the move that got robbed was Eternal Sunshine, but I don’t think it’s due to a conspiracy.

    Also, what conspiracy kept out Farenheit 9-11? Or was that one solely due to quality?

  29. “It probably would’ve gone over the head of most of the audience…”

    Oh please. Good rule of thumb: if you get it, most people will get it.

  30. It’s very difficult to immitate a known personality and have it work and she made it work. No immitation will ever be spot on. She did it as well as any one has in similar roles.

    That’s the problem — the award is supposed to be for acting, not imitation. If they gave Oscars for best mimic, the Olivier-Brando-DeNiro mantle would be worn by the likes of Frank Gorshin, Rich Little and Fred Travalena.

    Jamie Foxx nicely imitated Ray’s speaking voice, and nicely lip-synched to his songs well. Cate Blanchett nicely imitated Hepburn’s odd vocal syncopation (though Martin Short, in his own way, did it better).

    That both won awards as the best actors is something of a bad joke…

  31. It was only nominated for Best Achievement in Cinematography. The Aviator won.

    Look, its no secret that there was an organized effort in Hollywood to get the film squashed. Gibson couldn’t even find a distributor. All the big boys turned him down. Spielberg and the gang said they’d never work with Mel again. Last years Oscars were on the opening weekend for the movie and it did 50 million at the box office, which led host Robin Williams to make a very sarcastic joke in the opening minute of the show! Spielberg quickly took back his remarks about not ever working with Mel. Payback would be the Oscars.

  32. Dude, don’t post spoilers.

    I didn’t. I did not say whether the suicide actually takes place, nor which character would want one. All I said is that the plot in some way involves the assisted-suicide issue, which at this point is pretty common knowledge.

    Howard and Devin: I think Blanchett’s performance was fine in itself, but I think it’s being overpraised because people are impressed with the mimickry. Much the same way that Jamie Foxx — who was, to be sure, very good — is getting extra credit for actually singing some of the songs.

  33. If they gave Oscars for best mimic, the Olivier-Brando-DeNiro mantle would be worn by the likes of Frank Gorshin, Rich Little and Fred Travalena.

    Are you saying Frank Gorshin doesn’t deserve an Oscar? Blasphemy!

  34. Also, what conspiracy kept out Farenheit 9-11? Or was that one solely due to quality?

    The fat blubbering marxist stooge took his film out of the documentary category.

    I’m glad Clint’s film won. I’ve seen it and it’s an excellent movie. I think he should have gotten best actor too.

  35. That’s the problem — the award is supposed to be for acting, not imitation. If they gave Oscars for best mimic, the Olivier-Brando-DeNiro mantle would be worn by the likes of Frank Gorshin, Rich Little and Fred Travalena.

    First of all, I don’t think the line between mimicry and acting is necessarily as distinct as you want it to be here.

    Second, ask yourself why, in movies about real people, producers don’t cast the likes of Fred Travalena or Rich Little. To pick out a couple of mannerisms and facial expressions and do them in the service of comedy is one thing. To take those mannerisms and tics and put them into a believable representation of an actual person is quite another. It’s like the difference between a portrait and a caricature.

  36. Dude, thanks for ruining the end of the Passion of the Christ for me.

    Also, Cate Blanchett was a significant part of making The Aviator into an instant camp classic.

  37. Other spoilers:

    “Rosebud” is Kane’s sled.

    At the end of “Titanic”, the ship sinks.

    Katherine Mulwray is both the daughter and the sister of Evelyn Cross-Mulwray.

  38. The ship SINKS?!?

  39. Yes, but to save some intrigue for you, I won’t tell you how…

  40. Downward, I would imagine, with a great deal of gurgling.

  41. You know, if you haven’t bothered to see Milion Dollar Baby by now, should you really care that much about being spoiled?

    =========
    Geez, my apologies for not living my life by your time table.

    Some of us wait for the DVD. If you see a lot of movies, you don’t get to see everything you’re interested in the theatre ya know.

    Jesse – you didn’t post a spoiler per se, but most people were keeping under wraps the fact that the ‘twist’ in the movie involved impending death. There was actually a huge kerfuffle about this last month – you can read it on Ebert’s website.

  42. They ALL die at the end.

    And Billy Ray, Passion was actually nominated for three awards, all considered technical awards. (Cinematography, Makeup, and Best Score. Of the three, I thought it might win Makeup, being that the makeup effects were most convincing.)

    The Passion, F911, and even Eternal Sunshine all suffered from the annual curse of the Oscars. They were all released early in 2004, and films released outside of the Oscar hype season (October-December) rarely win awards and usually draw token nominations.

  43. I don’t quite follow the big difference b/w mimickry and acting. Or better put, I don’t see how mimickry does not involve acting, when done effectively. Anyway, I was ok with Blanchett winning, she was great. I thought Madsen was good, but nothing really special. Giamatti was the best thing in that movie and got robbed. I also enjoyed the Lumet jugs.

    Ditto to the poster who said Penn needs to get over himself. You couldn’t get a needle up that ass with a sledgehammer.

    I did not think Chris Rock was particularly funny.

  44. Billy Ray,

    Now you’ve done it. You let our secret out.

    We’re coming for you, goy. First we’ll rub you out then we’ll fuck up your books.

  45. Moore withdrew Fahrenheit 911 from consideration for Best Documentary? Good. Otherwise, I think there should have been a movement to nominate The Passion in the same category. And I would have liked to see it win. That would have been a kick in the pants.

    ********* SPOILER WARNING ********

    Jesus dies, but with a twist at the end.

  46. BillyRay …. Who, pray tell, was behind the consipiracy that denied Eastwood “Best Actor?”

  47. In fact, every semi-hostile conversation with Penn should involve a reference to Fast Times

    That was actually the height of his career. If you really want to cheese him off, ask him when he’s ever going to make another movie as good as Shanghai Surprise.

    By the way, I couldn’t help but notice that Team America: World Police was not even nominated for one damn thing. Stupid Oscars.

  48. Stevo,
    He withdrew it so he could get in the running for Best Picture. The Academy, wisely, didn’t take the bait.

  49. c writes:BillyRay …. Who, pray tell, was behind the consipiracy that denied Eastwood “Best Actor?”

    There wasn’t one. What’s your point?

  50. At least “SuperSize Me” didn’t win.

  51. The Jews writes:We’re coming for you, goy. First we’ll rub you out then we’ll fuck up your books.

    Not sure how to reply, but I’ll take a stab. How many movies has Hollywood done on the Nazi holocaust? How many characters are portrayed as evil Nazis in the movies? How many scripts or novels are changed to make the bad guys Nazis? Tom Clancy book, The Sum of All Fears right off the top of my head?

    Now I will ask. How many movies have been made about the Ukranian holocaust? None. What about the communist holocaust? I can’t think of any. Stalin killed far more than Hitler. Factor in Mao somewhere. More recently, Pol Pot.

    Now I wonder why Hollywood has avoided the sensitive topic of the Communist Holocaust

  52. SPOILER ALERT, PLEASE!!! I’ve avoided learning the subject matter of Million Dollar Baby’s ending until it was put in the first line of this post…. grrrr….

  53. I did not think Chris Rock was particularly funny.

    Of course he wasn’t. Did you actually think he could pull off award-show style comedy (a.k.a. “not funny” comedy)? Nobody can make MC humor funny; it’s lame by nature. Anything he possibly could have said in his own brand of humor would most likely not be appropriate or FCC-approved. Even without profanity, an MC these days typically must be bland so as to not offend anyone and keep the spotlight off him/herself and on the evening’s events. It’s just the nature of the current standards of the MC persona. I can’t remember any major event hosted by an MC who was actually, raucously funny in his role as MC.

  54. Actually, Chris Rock was pretty hilarious when he MCed the Saturday Night Live 25th anniversary show.

    Steve: What makes you think I was referring to the ending? For all you know, the movie opens with an assisted suicide.

  55. Now I will ask. How many movies have been made about the Ukranian holocaust? None. What about the communist holocaust? I can’t think of any. Stalin killed far more than Hitler. Factor in Mao somewhere. More recently, Pol Pot

    Yes, because Soviets have never, ever been bad guys in the history of Hollywood. Ever. Of course, there haven’t been any movies on the Armenien genocide (that I know of, made in the US, I’m sure Armenians have), but I don’t chalk it up to a Turkish conspiracy.

    What about the Korean War, there are all of 5 movies about the movie. Those insidious ChiComs won’t let us show the real meaning of that war.

    Or it could just be that the Jewish Holocaust got a lot more publicity at the time. While it was not uniquely vile, the surrounding circumstances made it stick in the minds of Americans more than other Holocausts, like Rwanda or Armenia, hence the movies, museums and remembrances. Either that or an insidious Jewish cabal.

  56. I didn’t get to see the oscars this time. But I remember a while ago Chris Rock did the show, and he was very funny. I remember a joke about J-Lo needing two limosines, one for her and one for her ass.

    He said “lets be honest, the real star is JLo’s ass.

  57. BillyRay,
    To some extent if there are a lot of directors and producers who are jewish, the story’s that grab them are going to be about the holocaust. That subject is going to be near and dear to them, and they have the ability to market the story that they find moving and make it such that most of the viewing gentile audience also find it moving.

    One day, I’d like to make a movie, and it will be about a subject that interests me. And I will try and make it so that though most people aren’t me, they are interested and entertained by the story I want to tell.

    I couldn’t tell you why there are a lot of Jewish people in Hollywood. But, I can say that I think there is no “the Jews”, as far as a group that has meetings and tries to figure out how to screw gentiles. There are Jews on both sides of the Israeli, Palestinian debate, and there are jews on both sides of the Passion of Christ debate.

    For whatever reason “the Jews” and whoever else is in Hollywood, is blowing away Bollywood, and whoever else makes movies. I would like to see some more realistic movies, I would like to see better movies. But over all given what I see of the competition, they are doing a pretty good job over all.

  58. Mo writes:What about the Korean War, there are all of 5 movies about the movie. Those insidious ChiComs won’t let us show the real meaning of that war.

    War movies. Pork Chop Hill. But I’d like to think the greatest killing machine of the 20th century, communism would deserve one serious factual movie. Not the Warren Beatty flick Reds

  59. What about the communist holocaust? I can’t think of any.

    The Killing Fields.

  60. I have an idea, let’s give an Oscar to every American citizen and call it economic democracy.

  61. Kwais writes:But, I can say that I think there is no “the Jews”, as far as a group that has meetings and tries to figure out how to screw gentiles.

    You might be surprised

  62. pococurante, good one! I’d forgotten about that. Good movie too. Of course it didn’t hurt its chances of being made when the author of the book Sydney Schanberg and leading character in the movie is a pulitzer prize winning journalist for the NY Times.

    Maybe they’ll make a movie about another Pulitzer prize winning journalists from the NY Times. How Walter Durante helped Stalin cover up the murder of 7 million Ukranians.

  63. Not just a spoiler, or even a spoiler in place where you wouldn’t expect it. No, we got a spoiler in the *first* line! Sheesh.

  64. BillyRay-
    Of the over six billion people on this planet, only something like fifteen million of them are Jews. If they, despite their small numbers, have truly managed to take over the world (or at least our country) as you imply, then they are clearly our superiors and DESERVE to control the world.

  65. *** spoiler ***

    you will eventually die.

  66. Jennifer writes:Of the over six billion people on this planet, only something like fifteen million of them are Jews. If they, despite their small numbers, have truly managed to take over the world (or at least our country) as you imply, then they are clearly our superiors and DESERVE to control the world.

    Where have I implied they’ve taken over the world or even this country. This discussion is about the Oscars and movies. Geeshh.

  67. This discussion is about the Oscars and movies. Geeshh. . .said the guy who started ranting about the Jews.

  68. Whoops, wrong italics. No matter.

  69. A Kurdish man told me the other day, that it was obvious that the Jews controlled the USA.

    He said that he didn’t know why the insurgents were fighting the US. The insurgents must not be true men of God, because the good book (this time the Koran, not the bible) says that the Jews will eventually controll the world. And then Jesus will return and then….

    OK, he kind of lost me at what would happen when Jesus comes back. Something about the Mahdi and lots of killing and peace for a short while till the end of the world. Something about killing Jews, but then one of our guys who is a Jew, said “what about good Jews?”. I think they will convert or something.

    Anyhow, he is convinced that the US will invade Iran, Syria, and whomever else, and that we will win, and must win. And that to try and stop us is to not understand Gods will.

    The sooner the Jews control the planet (via US no doubt), the sooner Jesus will come back.

    Exciting times ahead.

  70. Jennifer, where am I ranting about Jews. The Passion didn’t win an Oscar and I gave my opinion why it didn’t. I think the facts back me up. Then some guy leaves a nasty message and I countered in my usual well mannered way.

    Go to any thread about gay marriage or rights and you’ll see some of the most ugly things said about Christians.

    Back off. You don’t see me up here getting ugly. I at least try to keep things on friendly turf.

  71. OK,
    after reading Jennifer’s post, I realize that my last post had nothing to do about the Oscars and stuff either.

    I haven’t seen any of the movies mentioned, none of them interest me. Least of all the Passion, I don’t really want to see a movie all about a guy getting beat up and killed. I have seen that in real life.

    I might watch the Aviator, if there were more boobies as well there should have been, from what I gather from the comments on the other thread about it.

    I am told that Ray is a good movie, but I seen a million movies about artists with drug problems, and I don’t think I really liked any of them. I might watch that one I guess if I go on a date, and she wants to watch it. (maybe next week)

    Million dollar baby, nah, it is about a chick boxer.

    I want to watch life aquatic, is that one nominated for anything?

    Does life Aquatic fit into a Jewish conspiracy BillyRay?

  72. I see where you’re coming from, Billy. “The Passion” didn’t win any Oscars because those rotten Jews can’t appreciate the artistic beauty of a snuff film.

  73. I only saw a few minutes of the Oscars. Does anyone have a link to an aerial shot of Sidney Lumet’s daughters? Thank you.

  74. Will you knock it off with the whining about spoilers? You wouldn’t even recognize Jesse’s description as a spoiler if you didn’t already know what happens in the movie (which has got to be the worst-kept secret in movie history anyway).

  75. Seriously, who watches movies for the suspense of the ending anyway? You can see them coming a mile away in most films.

    The only film in which the ending actually mattered: The Crying Game. Not exactly something to shoot for, I’d say…

  76. The only film in which the ending actually mattered: The Crying Game.

    By the way, I still haven’t seen this. What happens? I heard the hot, hot black chick gets naked, or something.

  77. Oh, and for the record: I, for one, welcome our Judaic overlords.

  78. The 6th sense had me going.

  79. Sollie Greenbaum is people!

  80. A very weak field this year for BP. Any of last year’s best pic nominees would have mopped the floor, nay, scrubbed the toilet with MDB.

  81. I was just wondering, if Hollywood is so controlled by Jews, how can you make a movie about Jews killing the true son of God, but yet cannot make a movie about Christ being a false prophet, which according to my Jewish friend can be proved via the old testament.

    I know this whole Jewish control thing is getting old, but I just figured I would throw that out there.

  82. Isn’t this the third time that Scorsese has lost to an actor turned director?

    Clint Eastwood (Million Dollar Baby), Kevin Costner (Dances With Wolves) (*blech*) and Robert Redford (Ordinary People)?

  83. Well, so far we know that BillyRay dislikes gay people and Jews; he also has a fondness for keeping black people in bondage. Who else does he have a dislike for?

  84. Of course, there haven’t been any movies on the Armenien genocide (that I know of, made in the US, I’m sure Armenians have), but I don’t chalk it up to a Turkish conspiracy.

    Atom Egoyan made a movie about it — actualy, he made a movie about making a movie about it — but he’s Canadian, so that doesn’t really count.

    As to why the Jews are so prevalent in Hollywood, it’s because the entertainment biz was one of the few places in late 19th/early 20th century America where Jews could find respectable work, being as they were pretty much shut out of much of the rest of society.

    That said, it is rather disappointing that nobody in Hollywood has ever really taken on the task of telling a good, truthful story about living under Soviet Communism. The closest we get is dreck like White Nights or The Russia House, for pete’s sake.

  85. “Now I wonder why Hollywood has avoided the sensitive topic of the Communist Holocaust”

    Because losing 400,000 Americans in a global war against the “Communist Holocaust” wasn’t the central event of 20th century American social, econonomic, military, and political history?

    Phil,

    What about Gorky Park?

  86. joe,

    WW2 was all about the Holocaust? That’s funny, since it was not even known about (at least publicly) until after the war was over… not to mention the fact that Japan had nothing to do with the Holocaust.

  87. The issue under discussion, crimethink, is the movies made about World War II, virtually all of which were conceived and produced after the Holocaust was well known.

  88. Forgot about Gorky Park. There was also a movie, I believe made for HBO, called Gulag that I recall as being not half bad. But I would have been about 12 when I saw it, so I may easily be misremembering.

  89. Will you knock it off with the whining about spoilers? You wouldn’t even recognize Jesse’s description as a spoiler if you didn’t already know what happens in the movie (which has got to be the worst-kept secret in movie history anyway).

    Well, now I officially know. Thanks, Tim. 😛

    Jesse and kwais,

    You may be right about Chris Rock’s hosting of the SNL 25th special being very funny. I don’t know, I haven’t seen it. I’m just making the point that MCs are, by nature, not encouraged to steal the spotlight, since they are only playing the role of host. Consequently, their humor is usually inclusive and mild, so as to not offend anyone (besides the usual Hollywood-star skewerings and roastings). I’m sure Chris Rock had to make a point of keeping it mild, especially with all of the hullabaloo about such an atypically edgy comic hosting the event.

    To illustrate my point: “Oprah, Uma…” Was it really that funny? meh.

  90. “I wonder why Hollywood has avoided the sensitive topic of the Communist Holocaust…”

    Because they haven’t…

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087553/

  91. Ugh. I wouldn’t say that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind deserved a best-screenplay award. I found the writing just wretched–trite, sappy, and unbelievable. The movie was beautiful, with some truly brilliant cinematography, but I almost wish I’d watched it with the sound off.

  92. [b]Well, so far we know that BillyRay dislikes gay people and Jews; he also has a fondness for keeping black people in bondage. Who else does he have a dislike for?[/b]

    little punks like you.

  93. Just remembered this one: in add’n to “The Killing Fields”, in “Swimming to Cambodia” Spalding Gray (RIP) describes more of the Khmer Rouge atrocities he was told of while filming TKF — most memorably, of “infants torn apart like fresh bread”. (Though it IS mostly about himself and his own problems.)

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