Bolster Your Bottom-Line

With steaming hot porn! At least that is what cable basket-case Adelphia hopes will happen once the company introduces hard-core smut to its customers in LA. No, this isn't your soft-focus Playboy channel stuff. We're talking real honest-to-filth cumshots and orifice-invading action. Or, as what must be one of the most heavily vetted grafs in the history of newspapering explains:

Single-X-rated movies feature nudity, long-range or panoramic and medium-range camera shots, simulated sex and sex between women. Double-X-rated movies show intercourse, oral sex and close-up shots. Triple-X-rated movies feature anal sex and visible ejaculation.

Hello, Los Angeles, you still there? If so, the economics of the move are obvious as cable operators stand to gain handfuls of cash from each PPV selection. Plus the technology of two-way, digital cable makes keeping such content locked up relatively idiot-proof as well as invisible to anyone who does not seek out visible ejaculations.

Harder to figure is the stated goal of "growing" the cable porn market beyond the average viewing time of seven minutes. Nothing to be done there, it is porn now isn't it? Wait, that Medicare and Viagra thing is starting to make sense…..