Booby Trapped

Well, I can second Virginia Postrel's high praise for Martin Scorcese's vivid depiction of Golden Age glamour in The Aviator, which was enough fun to get me over my own disappointment that the movie doesn't treat the Vegas hotel room period.

It's always a bore when some aficionado starts bellyaching about how Hollywood got his special interest wrong, but as a longtime Hughes buff I have to ask: Where were all the tits? Hughes was one of the most legendary breast men in the history of American movies, a true-blue mammophile when Russ Meyer was still out there winning World War II. Granted, glamour is about abstracting and polishing sexuality, rather than presenting it toute nue, but The Aviator doesn't even have a part for Jane Russell, Hughes' greatest discovery. The making of the Russell vehicle The Outlaw is the stuff of legend: the special bra designed by aircraft engineers, the censorship crisis, the abuse of leading man Jack Buetel (in the ur-text of Hughes-was-gay revisionism, Howard Hughes: The Secret Life, breathless author Charles Higham does a close reading of The Outlaw as gay BDSM; sample here).

The obvious explanation is that in an era where we're supposed to accept Kate Beckinsale as the va-va-voom Ava Gardner, we just don't have the full-figured gals Hollywood needs to recreate its own past (a chilliing mirror image of the ongoing dwarf shortage). But I had already worked that problem out in my head: Just add in a cartoon Jane Russell who interacts, Jessica Rabbit-style, with the live actors. Who wouldn't have wanted to see a cartoon Jane, with her hooters knocking over cocktail glasses three tables away? I like to think the great creator Scorcese, he of Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, would have done it that way…

Comments

[Warren]

"...we just don't have the full-figured gals Hollywood needs ..."

AMEN! Sing it loud.

[JimM]

I watched "The Outlaw" a few months ago on TCM and it struck me as one helluva an odd movie, not the typical western I was expecting. The last 20 minutes or so are especially bizarre. But Jane Russell's twins makes it worth a look.

[joe]

Warren, word.

[Tim Cavanaugh]

JimM, did you get any hint of the homoerotic stuff? I've never seen it, and Higham is an English sleazoid hack of the worst order, but he seems to sure of himself in that reading that I'm curious. (No not curious that way, although there's nothing wrong with that!)

[mojoe]

Tim,
Years ago I had the pleasure of working with an older lady who's husband played for the old L.A. Rams. She was showing us some photos from the "old days" and lo and behold there she was. Jane Russell was married to the Rams QB at the time, Dick Summers (sp?). And apparently they all spent a lot of time at their house, and in their pool. She must have had 20 or 30 pictures of Jane cavorting around the pool in what must have passed for a hot bathing suit at the time.This was less then a year before "The Outlaw" and she is magnificent. I begged a photo from her and it hangs today over my desk.

[Evan Williams]

"...we just don't have the full-figured gals Hollywood needs ..."

AMEN! Sing it loud.

While giggling in with glee at the Family Guy dvd's a few days ago, I saw soem fun-nee-shite that I had forgotten about since I last saw the ep. Chris becomes an avante-garde artist in Manhattan, and Kate Moss is his new girlfriend. Typical famguy hijinx ensue. Chris says to Peter, "don't say anything bad about her; she might be here right now", referencing the fact that she is so thin as to be only viewable in 2 dimensions. (Which, being Calvin & Hobbes disciple, reminds me of the time Calvin turned 2-d, but I digress...). During the episode, she falls through a crack in the floorboard, and then is blown out the window by a gust of wind. Also, when she appears out of nowhere (because of her 2-d existence), Chris asks, "are you the matrix?"

Had to toss that in there. One of the funnier criticisms of hollywood's "thin=pretty" obsession.

[Lowdog]

Yes, amen to the full-figured gals, indeed.

And Evan - that's some great stuff. While I still think The Simpsons is better overall, TFG is so close to make them co-owners of the best TV show ever, imo.

[Mark Borok]

When Jennifer Connelly appeared in "The Rocketeer" (which also had a bit with Howard Hughes in it) her nose cones looked plenty ample. Of course they weren't real, but what is nowadays?

[joe]

Maybe they should start passing out Monster Thickburgers at cast parties.

[E. Steven]

I think the reason you don't see those kind of women in movies anymore is the same reason why Russ Meyer's career kind of tanked in the 70's. Namely, the rise and mainstreaming of XXX media. The raison d'?e [i.e. spank material] played by bosomy actresses in Hollywood films during the 50's - 60's got supplanted in the 70's by their hardcore sisters. I mean, seriously, once the market began providing a limitless parade of buxom lovelies doing everything you'd ever want to imagine [and a few you wouldn't] them doing and having done to them, who was gonna be satisfied by the mere presence of some busty dame in a low cut dress?

[isildur]

The day Christina Ricci got breast reduction surgery was a sad day, indeed.

[Dave Straub]

Mark Borok: Do you have any substantiation of Ms. Connelley's assets being bogus?

I have no issue with Kate Beckinsale - her looks certainly helped me through Laurel Canyon - but she's no Ava Gardner, to be sure.

[mojoe]

Check out Jennifer Connelly in the horrendous "Hot Spot" She's topless, they're real and they're magnificent.

[Warren]

joe,
Ha! Thickburger, good one. (Are you feeling all right?)

E. Steven,
I don't buy it. Hollywood (and all other media) is slinging out the sex more than ever. Probably for the reasons you list. But whether it's in-your-face, or more in-you-endow (hee), I still don't understand how the Auschwitz look came to be accepted (by heterosexual males especially) as the feminine ideal. Give me the pin-up queens and sweater girls of the 40's and 50's.

[Mark Borok]

True, but not as ample as in "The Rocketeer". I think. She was playing a character based (in the excellent original comic book) on Bettie Page.

[AJS]

Warren, amen to that. "Thin (i.e. anorexic) is in". Balls to that, says I.

[Tim Cavanaugh]

Give me the pin-up queens and sweater girls of the 40's and 50's.

Yeah but without all the rouge, lipstick, mascara, foundation, etc. That women are no longer expected to be made up like drag queens is a distinct improvement.

[E. Steven]

Warren,

If you look back on those 'golden age' Hollywood films you will generally notice that the 'serious' actresses [i.e. ones that could be considered dramatic or romantic leads in A pictures] tended to be of a more slender variety than the B movie sweater girls. Having said that, the slimmer gals did seem to start taking more and more prominence in the 70's as the once B movie quickie morphed into the modern blockbuster. Hence, the roles traditionally taken by bombshell types [horror, action, sci-fi, etc.] have been supplanted by more more mainstream actresses with less exaggerated measurements. I'd say the area where this is most regrettable is the comic book film. Talk about being unfaithful to the source material! I mean, not to begrudge Kirsten Dunst, but she doesn't exactly look like the Mary Jane Watson I grew up with. If some genius ever convinces Hollywood to do a Black Cat vehicle with an actress who actually looks like the Marvel character, I'll be first on line to watch that spectacle.

[kid rock]

"skinny models you can keep those, I like big corn fed midwestern ho's"

[Warren]

"If you look back on those 'golden age' Hollywood films you will generally notice that the 'serious' actresses...tended to be of a more slender"

"more slender"? Maybe, but not skinny. I can think of three 'serious' actresses from that period off the top of my head. Katherine Hepburn (best ever!), Lauren Bacall, and Judy Garland (more serious as a singer, but still). Who are these svelte pursuers of stagecraft you speak of?

[E. Steven]

Funny, I would classify Hepburn and Bacall as pretty slim. In fact, I believe, Bacall's nickname was Slim [or at least Bogie kept calling her that in To Have And Have Not]. Now, Rita Hayworth, there was a woman you could sink your teeth into [at least Orson Welles did], but she was more of a song-and-dance glamour girl than a actress.

[Warren]

Well, I think that makes my point. Hepburn and Bacall were slim in their day. But heavens, they were positively rotund compared to today's girls.

[Warren]

Oh and, Rita Hayworth -- Yum 🙂

[pococurante]

I suspect there aren't enough naturally big-breasted actresses, a la Jane, in H'wd. But a bigger problem would be finding someone with a facial resemblance to JR (not that the Aviator casting directors were evidently interested in verisimilitude, seeing as they made some odd choices). Almost any actress could be made to sport a mammary resemblance, thanks to Wonderbras. (Does Gossard/Wonderbra owe a debt to Hughes's above-mentioned cantileverers?)

The day Christina Ricci got breast reduction surgery was a sad day, indeed.

Not for her. She's the one who had to carry them around, and obviously didn't want to.

[E. Steven]

Hm, maybe Bacall, but Katherine Hepburn looks pretty damn skinny to me. BTW, when it comes to those ultra-thin sirens of years past I'd have to put Veronica Lake at the top of my list. Damn, was there ever a woman like Veronica Lake?!

[E. Steven]

Actually, there is one actress I can think of who has that voluptuous retro appeal. Laura Harring from Mulholland Drive. However, her credits haven't exactly been burning up the screen in the same way as her skinnier co-star Naomi Watts.

[Jesse Walker]

This might be the appropriate place to point out that, in his review of Ghost World, John Simon of National Review complained that Thora Birch was "overweight."

I didn't realize, by the way, that Ricci had gone under the knife. I thought she was on some kind of emaciating diet. I guess the two aren't mutually exclusive.

[stubby]

As a matter of fact, I am recovering from breast reduction surgery. I'm very uncomfortable but it's so worth it - wish I'd done it years ago. Many of my less-endowed buddies made the standard jokes ("Mine cost me $6,000 and you want yours cut off??" etc. etc.) and we all decided that one day, medical science will come up with a safe (as opposed to silicon) boobie transplant operation.

[Ken Shultz]

Ricci in "Monster" just wasn't the same Ricci I remember from "Buffalo 66".

...That was Ricci in Buffalo 66, right?

[McClain]

Thora Birch was HOT in "Ghost World."
And "American Beauty."
Mmmm...Thora....
If movies we're designed just for straight guys, we'd see more womanly rather than just girlish actresses.
In fact, in porno, one often does.

[Bern]

isn't this the movie with that pinko-commie, dicaprio?

[Ken Shultz]

"isn't this the movie with that pinko-commie, dicaprio?"

...And here I thought we were talking aesthetics.

[Artie Shaw]

You guys are just jealous because you never got to nail Lana Turner and Ava Gardner.

[wing tong]

Christina Ricca, Jennifer Connelly and Drew Barrymore have all gone under the knife to reduce their gorgeous big breasts. 'Tis sad, indeed.

[Jon]

"Christina Ricca, Jennifer Connelly and Drew Barrymore have all gone under the knife to reduce their gorgeous big breasts. 'Tis sad, indeed."

Did Connelly have them surgically reduced, or did she just lose lots of weight?

She looked very, very thin around the time of that crazy Russell Crowe movie.

And I don't recall Drew Barrymore *ever* being particularly busty.

[Amy Alkon]

Regarding the temptation to have breast reduction surgery, for girls with huge hooters, a big part of the problem is ill-made American bras. Empreinte is a brand sold in France and England (in Paris at Le Bon March? is where I buy them). They're $70-plus with the euro being what it is, and worth every damn cent. FANTASTIC ENGINEERING. A number of them are nylon-stocking thin -- sexy yet steely with support -- and comfortable, too. I think of Howard Hughes and aircraft engineering many a time when I put one on. $70 is a small price to pay if it helps you avoid a $6,000 surgery. PS Title9Sports.com in the USA has great running bras.

Victoria's Secret bras are not bras for girls who have anything that actually needs holding up -- they're fabric pasties. Ridiculous. Wacoal, yeah, yeah...whatever. Compared to Empreinte...forget it.

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