Yushchenko Poisoned…Or Not

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It was biological warfare!

Doctors at Vienna's exclusive Rudolfinerhaus clinic are within days of identifying the substance that left Mr Yushchenko's face disfigured with cysts and lesions, Nikolai Korpan told The Times in a telephone interview.

Specialists in Britain, the United States and France had helped to establish that it was a biological agent, a chemical agent or, most likely, a rare poison that struck him down in the run-up to the presidential election, he said. Doctors needed to examine Mr Yushchenko again at the clinic in Vienna to confirm their diagnosis but were in no doubt that the substance was administered deliberately, he said.

"This is no longer a question for discussion," Dr Korpan said. "We are now sure that we can confirm which substance caused this illness. He received this substance from other people who had a specific aim."

No, it was sushi!

[Rudolfinerhaus director Dr. Michael] Zimpfer rejected as "entirely untrue" a story in Wednesday's edition of the London daily The Times, which quoted Dr. Nikolai Korpan—the Rudolfinerhaus physician who oversaw Yushchenko's treatment—as saying the Ukrainian candidate had been poisoned and the intention was to kill him.

Hours after the newspaper report was published, Korpan denied making the remarks.

"The suspicion of poisoning has until now neither been confirmed or excluded," Korpan was quoted as saying by the Austria Press Agency.

NEXT: Half Nelson

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  1. It could be reported that, according to sources, someone administered an agent either deliberately or inadvertently or that there was no agent whatsoever and no one administered anything at all.

    …with absolute certainty.

  2. Having seen his face, I’d really like them to identify it. I don’t care WHAT it was, I just want to stay the hell away from it.

    That wasn’t bad sushi, that’s for sure.

    On the other hand, it’s not like the Ukraine is an enviromental paradise either.

  3. I’m not saying Dennis Hastert had anything to do with this. All I’m saying is, I don’t have any evidence, one way or the other.

  4. Joe’s getting ready for Howie Dean’s DNC Chairmanship, his post was almost exactly Dean’s NPR interview formulation about W. having advanced knowledge of September 11.

    Maybe Yushenko just had a bad case of chicken (small) pox during the election campaign?

  5. “…his post was almost exactly Dean’s NPR interview formulation about W. having advanced knowledge of September 11.”

    It was actually, and please correct me if I’m wrong joe, a parody of Dennis Hassert’s infamous comment suggesting ties between George Soros and drug traffickers.

  6. Maybe Yushenko just had a bad case of chicken (small) pox during the election campaign?

    …and maybe Putin can blame it on Al Qaeda and use it as an excuse to occupy the Ukraine.

    …maybe it’s of alien origin!

  7. Snake, I see what you’re saying, but it wasn’t “almost exactly” like what Dean said.

    Dean on NPR:

    “The most interesting theory that I?ve heard so far?which is nothing more than a theory, it can?t be proved?is that he was warned ahead of time by the Saudis. Now who knows what the real situation is? But the trouble is, by suppressing that kind of information, you lead to those kind of theories, whether they have any truth to them or not, and eventually, they get repeated as fact. So I think the president is taking a great risk by suppressing the key information that needs to go to the Kean Commission.”

    I think he should have dismissed the theory outright, but point he was (clumsily) making is that when the President is such a pussy about providing the public with information, claims like that (baseless though they may be) only gain strength.

    Ken is right in that Joe’s comment actually is “almost exactly” like Dennis Hastert’s regarding George Soros.

  8. Ken,
    I’m not joe, but I’m certain that was his intent.

    And he succeeded in making me chuckle.

  9. I think he should have dismissed the theory outright, but point he was (clumsily) making is that when the President is such a pussy about providing the public with information, claims like that (baseless though they may be) only gain strength.

    Oh come on. The point he was making is that he wanted to keep the “Bush knew about 9/11 beforehand” meme in the public mind. That’s why he described it as “the most interesting theory” he’d heard. If he’d used the word “ridiculous” or “crazy” in place of “interesting”, then maybe I’d buy your spin.

    Kerry never released his full medical records from his Vietnam service. Imagine if some Republican had said the following:

    “The most interesting theory that I’ve heard so far — which is nothing more than a theory, it can’t be proved — is that back in 1970 Kerry caught the clap from a 14-year-old Vietnamese girl he had raped. Now who knows what the real situation is? But the trouble is, by suppressing medical records, you lead to those kinds of theories… (etc etc).”

    Would you have honestly accepted the explanation “oh, I was just saying he should release his medical records”?

  10. I’m not saying that people here are deliberately misrepresenting joe’s intent. They could just be genuinely confused. Either way, I’m just saying ;->

    Maybe Yuschenko just studied for his advancement to candidacy exam? In Ph.D programs, after a couple years you give a talk on your research thus far and what you plan to do next. Your committee quizzes you, and then you get a Masters degree and the title “Ph.D candidate.” When I prepared for mine a few years ago I stressed out so much that an old chicken pox scar came back to life on my face and looked pretty disgusting. Worse yet, the infection spread to my eye. NOT fun.

  11. There’s a pretty important distinction here – Dean had a legitimate point to make, that the Bush Whitehouse is too secretive. Maybe he’s right, maybe not, but it’s certainly a legitimate, non-pretextual issue worthy of discussion. He raised the conspiracy theory as an example of what happens when there’s too much White House secrecy.

    Hastert raised his conspiracy theory, that Soros gets his money from drug gangs, to make the point that Soros gets his money from drug gangs. He didn’t back away from the idea, or identify its existence as a problem. He pushed the idea itself as an issue to be discussed.

    That’s a pretty big difference.

  12. You’re right joe, Hastert wins the King Moonbat prize here, but Dean is still a moonbat. In any case, his kind (and yours) will raise these kind of conspiracy theories in ass-covering language regardless of anything Bush does.

  13. Les, that argument is laughable. There are as many different “standards” about the “proper” level of WH “secrecy” as there are critics on the issue. (quotes for effect, i.e., on this issue these terms have malleable definitions)

    To build on Dan’s excellent hypothesis, the notion that the Bushhitler crowd would happily discontinue the despicable rumormongering if W. wasn’t such a “pussy” (as you eloquently expressed) re: disclosure is a willful rejection of reality.

    It’s hard to question your own assumptions, Les (Nessman), but try it.

  14. Sorry to break the thread on moon bats, but IMHO, I really don’t think chicken pox, or herpes, or sushi, or anything else but some sort of poison could have caused what has happened to him. While the Times Online is the first place I’ve heard report that Yuschenko had internal lesions, which automatically casts doubt on its veracity, other reports have confirmed the rapid progression of the disease and the mysterious back pain (which is unclear if its spinal, muscle, or kidney pain), which should not be occurring in the previously mentioned diseases.
    Just wondering, Thoreau et al with the reoccurrence of chicken pox, did yours flare up in a short amount of time with back pain? If not, then that might rule out those sorts of infections.
    While it may not be as fun as making theories of how either the remnants of the KGB or Yuschenko’s hygiene may have caused his affliction, I think the best thing here is some well placed skepticism of all claims until the Rudolfinerhaus officially comes out with its report.

  15. Frank-

    I wasn’t proposing it as a serious medical proposal. I was mostly saying “Hey, looks like a stressed out grad student!”

  16. I’d just like to point out that Anderson’s rather frank assessment doesn’t rule out the alien origin theory.

  17. Sorry, I wasn’t meaning to grill anyone. I was just trying to ask a straightforward question.

  18. Good point Ken. Mars bugs sound just as plausible right now.
    Also, nice pun.

  19. “In any case, his kind (and yours) will raise these kind of conspiracy theories in ass-covering language regardless of anything Bush does.”

    Sadly, Todd, your kind will interpret any criticism of Bush’s military, security, and secrecy policies as “conspiracy theories in ass-covering language,” regardless of their actual content and legitimacy.

    Sort of like your kind’s compulsive need to read references to chimps and Hitler into any Bush-related complaint.

  20. So exactly when did you stop beating your wife, joe?

  21. There’s a pretty important distinction here – Dean had a legitimate point to make, that the Bush Whitehouse is too secretive

    So it’s ok to falsely accuse someone of complicity in mass murder, so long as they’ve been “secretive”?

    This from a guy who spent three solid months with his panties in a bunch over the Swift Boat ads?

  22. Morat speaks only truth:

    “Having seen his face, I’d really like them to identify it. I don’t care WHAT it was, I just want to stay the hell away from it.”

    Amen.

  23. Free the Ukraine! Orange, orange, free the Ukraine!

  24. ‘So it’s ok to falsely accuse someone of complicity in mass murder, so long as they’ve been “secretive”?’

    Dean did no such thing; he identified the existence of this charge as a problem to be solved.

  25. Yushchenko’s Austrian docs are now touting dioxin as the poisoning agent. They seem pretty certain.

    http://apnews.myway.com/article/20041212/D86UAFK00.html

    Kevin

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