This Is Cuddly Bear Penguin Is at Large and Dangerous…


If you spot this plush toy, please do not try to apprehend yourself and especially don't try to unfasten "the green plastic button on the backpack, [which] is attached using only thread and could be ingested by oral-age children."

Instead, contact your nearest class-action lawyer, hysteria-mongering media outlet, and/or the folks at W.A.T.C.H. ("World Against Toys Causing Harm"), who have recently released their dreary annual list of the "10 Worst Toys" in time for the Christmas shopping season. Joining "Dress Me Paz" on the least-wanted list are the dreaded "Air Burst Rockets" and "Megabuster Battle Weapon," none of which rises to the level of meance of, say, of the old Saturday Night Live skit in which Dan Aykroyd pushed plastic bags as space helmets for kids.