There's No Sex in the Champagne Room at Clinton Library…


To paraphrase Chris Rock, there is no sex in the champagne room at the brand-spankin' new William J. Clinton Presidential Center and Park, just opened in Little Rock, Arkansas. Indeed, there may not even be a champagne room, or at least one that's open to the public.

But there is, in the words of the Star-Ledger, a "good-times museum," filled with, among other things,

a full-scale replica of the Oval Office as it appeared the day Clinton left office. It includes a replica of his desk, family portraits, a display of medallions from military bases he visited while in office and busts of Presidents John Kennedy, Harry Truman, Franklin Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln.

For those who are wondering, the $165 million library, blessedly built with private funds, "mentions [Monica] Lewinsky briefly, and says that Clinton in September 1998 'acknowledged that he had not been forthcoming about the relationship.'"

Whole story here.

"I never lied about my job," sez Clinton in the New York Daily News.

NEXT: Report from Section 9

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  1. What do you want, animatronics? It’s a presidential library!

  2. How about some aids for the autoerotic? 🙂

  3. Heh. A Monica machine under the desk fellating Felonious Bill as he speaks to congressmen about foreign policy – now THAT would be animatronics worth seeing.

  4. a full-scale replica of the Oval Office as it appeared the day Clinton left office.

    Well, I guess now we know where to look for the missing silver.

  5. you’re goddamn right joe, i want some fucking animatronics!

  6. Are the raft of scummy pardons mentioned in great detail in one of the library’s alcoves?

    Say what you will about George Will, but he was correct when he wrote that Clinton was not the worst President in our history, but he was the worst person ever to be President.

  7. i’ve never quite understood that, considering the private and public acts of past presidents. surely he’s not a worse person than andrew jackson, since he was far more into screwing exotic women than herding them off to die in the middle of nowhere.

    clinton was an unexceptional president living in relatively unexceptional times. much like bush is an unexceptional president in exceptional times.

  8. Say what you will about George Will…

    George Will is a pompous ass! Thanks for letting me vent, Snake!

  9. I was going to mention Jackson, too. You know why there haven’t been any Indian claims on lands in western Tennessee? Because all the Indians from western TN are dead.

    You know who owned a lot of land in western Tennessee?

  10. Mindless anti-Clintonites are on par with the mindless anti-Bushites.

  11. I just knew someone was going to start talking abour “race” in reference to the MNF dust-up:

  12. shit, i just saw that commercial. it was genuinely ha-ha funny. surprising.

    yeah, i think the racial thing might be part of why people are so upset. that and they’re dinks.

  13. Dungy: “I don?t think that they would have had Bill Parcells or Andy Reid or one of the owners involved in that.”

    Yeah, thank you for that. I’m going to go drink until the bad thinking goes away now.

    Bill Parcells. Ewwww.

  14. Jason,
    I think that had it been Favre, Manning or Jason Sehorn, there would have been zero controversy. There are commercials running during MNF that are more titilating than that promo was.

  15. Not sure how this thread morphed into the MNF stink bomb, but I am almost certain that without the interracial aspect of the skit, there would have been very little reaction to it. I am a little surprised, though, that Dungy has such strong feelings about it. Sexual predator? A naked girl comes on to you and you’re the sexual predator?

    Oh yeah, I’ve gotta believe that Clinton wasn’t the first president (possibly, not even the most recent) to have extramarital sex in the White House…and each one that did would have lied if confronted about it. Just my belief, I could be wrong.

  16. Jason Sehorn?

    Is he even playing anymore? He’s got all the star power of a lightning bug right now.

    Now, Brian Urlacher, there’s your guy.

  17. I mentioned Mr. Harmon because he’s an inexplicable NFL marketing god for his entire career. He’s pretty and white, which is about all he has going for him (unless you root for the team he’s playing against). He was last seen as a 2003 Rams safety, not sure if he has a gig this year.

  18. “You know why there haven’t been any Indian claims on lands in western Tennessee?”

    Yeah, because it’s too close to Memphis. Who the fuck would want to live there?

  19. Speaking of the MNF commercial thing – where can I find the video of it? The internet is not coughing it up as quickly as I’d like.

    Tara Reid’s tit flopping out, though, I found in about 2 seconds.

  20. Jackson’s biggest crime is that he was ultimately responsible for Paul Revere and The Raiders recording the song “Cherokee Nation”.

  21. “a full-scale replica of the Oval Office as it appeared the day Clinton left office”

    I wonder what a replica of the Oval Office as it will appear on the day Bush leaves office will look like. My guess is, a smoldering radioactive ruin.

  22. Lowdog-

    Since I never watch MNF, I would have had no idea that it happened if there weren’t prudes around to warn me about it.

    Thank God that His most devout followers pay close attention to cleavage on TV! The rest of us don’t have to search for cleavage, we just have to wait for an angry Christian to say something!

  23. I’m trying to take bets on when they will bust a couple who sneak over the ropes and try to recreate a Bill and Monica moment.

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