The Best Reason To Elect John Kerry…


…is Teresa Heinz Kerry, of course. Via Drudge comes her latest bon mot, served up in an interview with USA Today, where she disses Laura Bush thus:

"She seems to be calm, and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good. But I don't know that she's ever had a real job–I mean, since she's been grown up."

Whole thing here.

Sure, Laura Bush has killed a man (which may explain why Dubya is so jumpy and especially why he walks like he's just heard an angry car door slam behind him). But THK promises to bring an Eva Gabor level of laffs cum hijinks to the White House. Is there any way she can become First Lady even if Frankenstein Jr. goes down the crapper, as the polls are currently predicting?

NEXT: More Liberal Political Advice for Libertarians

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  1. Looks to me like decades of drinking and/or pill popping are catching up to her. I base that on nothing but looks (swollen face), her sporadic off-color remarks, and of course her being frighteningly rich. All the proof I need:) (Rush Limbaugh fails my test on two out three counts)

    I’m not sure if she is more of a reason to vote against Kerry or a humorous consolation prize for the Kerry-haters should Kerry pull it off.

  2. Here is another reason to vote for Kerry courtesy of Steve Moore and Club For Growth.

    Hat Tip to David Nott

    apologies if this was already posted somewhere near here and I missed it.

  3. Be nice to have the link too. Sorry.

  4. So I’m the only one who remembers Frankenstein Jr.

  5. It’s pronounced “FRAHNK-en-steen.”

    You’re joking.



    It’s pronounced “Eye-gore.”

    They told me it was Igor.

    Well then, they were wrong, weren’t they?

  6. I can see it now.. THK going on a booze-soaked rant during the lighting of the national Christmas tree, and then stumbling off the podium after telling Sam Donaldson to “kiss my ass”.

    My finger will be hovering over the “Kerry” lever come election day..

  7. I remember Buzz’s magic ring.

    RealClearPolitics isn’t looking at the state polls. has a questionable predictor result, but his daily tallies are top notch.

  8. “But I don’t know that she’s ever had a real job”

    Well, she doesn’t know much then, does she. Laura was a Librarian (not to be confused with a Libertarian) which is, I understand, a real job sometimes even involving a thing THK wouldn’t know about called a pay check.

  9. “even involving a thing THK wouldn’t know about called a pay check.”


    All THK knows about is marrying rich men and inheriting piles of money. Sweet deal if you can pull it off – but it’s not to be confused with any actual work.

  10. The Kerry Campaign is throwing gifts into Rove’s lap: 1) Cheney’s daughter 2) global test 3) THK dissing Laura 4) Edwards/Chris Reeve….and there appears to be another one coming down the pike re: the UN and American soldiers.

    Why isn’t Bush up 10 by now? Looks like that right/wrong track number is a huge drag.

  11. Has THK ever had a real job? Not that it matters, just curious if anyone knows.

    She is funny, hilarious actually, but I think the laffs would wear off after having to see more acutal photos of her. Then again, maybe she could set a new fashion trend, ala Jackie O, for burkas.

  12. Regarding your last sentence, Nick: Maybe we could make an amendment to the Constitution such that the wife of the losing presidential candidate(s) becomes the concubine of the winner. And maybe the loser’s adult female children too. This would ensure a THK in the White House next year no matter what, and would bring a nice “barbarian conqueror” feel to the presidential campaign.

    I guess the above should be recast to allow for the fact that we’ll probably have female presidential contenders soon. But the prospect gives me a headache, so let’s stick with the ultra-sexist assumptions above for now.

    The potential impact this would have as an incentive/disincentive for running for the office of U.S. president is left as an exercise for the studient.

    Make it effective upon the date of the presidential inauguration. We have until then to push this amendment through.

    (Always thinking.)

  13. Well, Stevo, this thread’s done. VBG

  14. ‘Sweet deal if you can pull it off – but it’s not to be confused with any actual work.’

    Golddigging is full time work – but a lot of it is done laying down.

  15. “even involving a thing THK wouldn’t know about called a pay check.”

    “Has THK ever had a real job?”

    She worked at the UN in the 1960s. So she did get a paycheck. Whether anyone here considers it a real job is another question.

  16. “…an Eva Gabor level of laffs cum hijinks…”

    Didn’t we have eight years of cum hijinks a while back?

  17. “Didn’t we have eight years of cum hijinks a while back?”

    I come to H&R for the articles, I stay for the comment humor. That was hillarious mark.

  18. THK doesn’t really bother me, but I liked her more when I knew almost nothing of her.

  19. I am reminded of the Ezra Bowen quote: “If you marry for money, you will surely earn it.”

    Somehow, I think Johnny has to work harder for it than Teresa did.

  20. Hey, she apologized!

  21. There are no reasons to vote for Kerry, only excuses.

  22. She’s at least mastered the art of speaking as though there is a reason people should listen. If that is an art.

  23. Better than when it comes to prediction is !

  24. Stevo,

    I think McCain’s already got dibs on Jenna. Every time I see a photo of them together, he’s pawing her. I wonder exactly what price Dubya had to pay for his endorsement….

  25. Hmm. I’ll be keeping my eye on that lascivious McCain from now on. Actually, I’ve got dibs on Jenna. With reluctance, this libertarian is voting for W in November. This is my price.

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