Hey Pat Buchanan, Whaddya Think of the RNC?

I ran into Pitchfork Pat—who, you may recall, has a history of running for president against guys named George Bush—on the stairway of the Garden after the Isn't She Lovely speech, and I can testify that he's one hell of a lot more popular here than Ralph Nader would have been in Boston. Delegate after delegate waited in line to shake the great man's hand, posing for one picture after another, saying things like "Keep fighting the good fight!" and (I swear) "Love your work!" When the greeting line ran out, he turned to me and said: "Take your picture too? HAH-hah-huh-huh-huh!" I asked him what he thought of the event so far.

Buchanan: It's a perfect convention. I'll be honest, I did not hear the First Lady, but they were really helped by the (chuckles) McCain versus Michael Moore contrast. I think Karl Rove's sitting there, (bends knees, makes card-dealing motion, adopts a high-pitched attempt at a Texan accent) "you want some tickets here, Michael!" HAH-hah-huh-huh-huh!

And watchacallit; Giuliani did a tremendous job last night. Poor Kerry! The mockery, made a fool of him. Then Arnold's up there; and he's almost an authentic celebrity star as well as political star, you know, and he hammered home the message for President Bush.

Me: You don't think the Disgruntled Conservatives are gonna be getting wobbly?

Buchanan: No, no, they're not gonna get wobbly, because they know the alternative if you get too wobbly. HAH-hah-huh-huh-huh!