Thank God for Homeland Security

|

Stephanie Willett ate a PayDay candy bar on the DC Metro and lived to tell the tale.

NEXT: The Last Picture Show

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. I guess you could argue that the Metro cops were fighting the War on Obesity by arresting her for eating a Pay Day candy bar. “Hey, it’s for the children – now children won’t eat candy bars on the Metro!”

    One of the interesting things about this story is that the woman actually seemed to make an effort to comply with the request – according to the article, she stuffed the last bit of candy bar into her mouth all at once to comply with the “no eating” request. Yet in spite of that, she was still “pushed against the wall” and arrested, presumably because the Metro cop was offended by her (reasonable) refusal to produce identification after the cop was pissed off at her for chewing a candy bar and demanding her ID.

    This story makes George Orwell look like a fucking genius! (He was pretty smart …) I mean, you would hope that this story could never occur in the US; it sounds like something out of Soviet Russia, or at least strict-authoritarian-no-gum-chewing Singapore. I’m flabbergasted at hearing this story, but unfortunately, not as surprised as I wish I were.

  2. Metro can’t officially endorse walking on the escalators because inevitably some dumb fuck will trip, get a boo-boo, and go to court (and will probably win).

    But there is a bigger safety issue of keeping people moving as quickly as possible to clear the platforms. Plus, let’s face it, some fatasses can really stand to lose a calorie or two by moving their feet. Seinfeld has a great rant about lazy fucks who don’t budge on moving sidewalks. Same principle.

    But all said, I do notice some of us natives pushing over tourist children on the left side who are holding their parent’s hand. Not cool.

  3. Oh, sorry, on topic: there is a picture of Ms. Willett in today’s Washington Post, and she looks very smug. My guess is two assholes got into a mix where neither side was willing to give ground.

  4. Well, it sounds like they finally got some of those escalators fixed.

  5. Farbstein said Willett violated the rules. “Chewing is eating,” she said.

    No it’s not. Who eats chewing gum and chewing tobacco?

    If they want to arrest people for chewing, then pass a law against “chewing” – but don’t call chewing “eating”.

    For example, I can chew on a transit cop’s arm – but that isn’t the same as eating a transit cop’s arm.

  6. I really wish the cops would do something about all the tourists/visitors in DC you consistently stand on the escalators on the LEFT side. There is nothing more annoying for this DC resident. I would be all in favor for Metro cops arresting every family from Ohio and Pennsylvania for this infraction!!!

  7. I really wish the cops would do something about all the tourists/visitors in DC who consistently stand on the escalators on the LEFT side. There is nothing more annoying. I would be all in favor for Metro cops arresting every family from Ohio and Pennsylvania for this infraction!!!

  8. The cops just must be bored because there’s so little violent crime in D.C. for them to worry about. Oh, wait.

  9. Derek,

    There was an article in the WaPo about it. Metro refused to put up “Walk to the Left; Stand to the Right” signs because you’re not supposed to walk on the escalator. Perfect =enemy of the good and all that.

  10. It’s a miracle, frankly, that (a) the escalators were working at both ends of the lady’s ride and(b) there was a trashcan available that was not full, neither of which was the case back when I rode the Metro every day (up until 10/2003 when I escaped DC for good). When I was riding daily, I would have preferred the Metro cops crackdown on standing on the left, sitting on the aisle when the window seat was open or theft in the parking garages (both theft from the garage by employees and theft from cars by ne’er-do-wells.

  11. I always had a sick little fantasy when I rode that big down escalator in Bethesda, standing on the RIGHT side of course (I’ve always liked escalators, for some reason). It went something like this: I stick out my left foot…

  12. It is perfectly understandable why eating a PayDay in D.C. would bring such a police reaction. The nutbars who run Washington can’t allow cannibalism!

    Seems like Ms. Willet has not kept up with the final decision in Hiibel v. Sixth Judicial District. Refusing to provide your name is verboten!

    http://supct.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/03-5554.ZO.html

    Kevrob

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.