"Wow. I hope that doesn't get out in the media."—young DNC campaigner, on being told that John Kerry may be the wealthiest person to ever run for President

"There was one false alarm. Back on Sunday."—FleetCenter police officer discusses the full extent of security issues to date

"Ow yer goin', mite?"—Sean Hannity attempts an Australian accent

"There's not a liberal America and a conservative America—there's the United States of America."—Illinois Senatorial candidate Barack Obama. So why bother having an election?

"Barack Osama …"—CNN pundit misidentifies the Democrats' rising star

"This [convention] is a very, very important infomercial that every American should watch."—Al Franken

"With John Kerry as President, global climate change will begin to be reversed."—Teresa Heinz Kerry on the chilling effect of a Kerry presidency

"Teresa Keinz Hairy …"—Matt Welch misidentifies the First Billionaire

"I've got to do some work on CNN. They're famous."—James Carville brushes aside an interview with Australia's Bulletin magazine