Kids Say the Darndest Things

Forget Chalabi, Allawi, Abu Ghraib. The strangest story in the news right now is this one:

A British teenager posed as an espionage agent in an Internet chatroom to persuade a friend to stab him to death in a complex and bizarre suicide attempt, a court was told on Friday.

"Skilled writers of fiction would struggle to conjure up a plot such as that which arises here," said the judge hearing the case at Manchester Crown Court, northwest England.

The would-be victim, aged 14 -- named only as Boy B -- invented a complex cast of fictional characters with which he communicated with his 16-year-old friend, Boy A, eventually exerting a huge degree of control over him.

The older teenager was eventually persuaded that he had been recruited by the British Secret Service to kill Boy B, after which he would be rewarded with a job as well as a sexual relationship with the 39-year-old female "spy".

It's wonderful to see young people being so creative. Speaking of which: Somewhere between freestyle and Freudian free association, there's this kid.

Comments

[JDM]

I'm not sure whether that video represents the end of civilization or the beginning. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Is that genius, madness? Proof that man has free will, or a total refutation of the same? Does this mean that there is a God, and that he speaks through pudgy white boy rappers from Westchester?

In short, that is the greatest work of art I have ever seen.

[OL]

Re: the video linked at the end of the post - Ohmahgawd! That is some of the funniest shit ever!

[Jeff Smith]

That is damn funny shit.

Jeff

[Pud-G]

"I wanna just say fuck it, mom, I don't wanna to go to bed!"

[X]

"I like funny words."

Yes you do, little man, yes you do.

[Paul Z]

Was that Boy A or Boy B?

[Todd Fletcher]

The real sign of decadence is that a 16 year-old would consider a woman of 39 a treat. Kids these days...

[jollyroger]

Greatest two-link post... EVER!

[LP MAN]

The Libertarian Party shoulda nominated the rapping white kid.

[cbk]

That video is proof that rap is bad for children and other living things.

I'm sending it to all the mothers I know as a warning to censor their children's music. Bring back the Jackson 5!

He wants daddy to give it to him in the caboose!?

It's what Dr. Seuss would be like if he were a sexually abused child with serious issues.

[JDM]

After watching the video, here's a couple of links:

http://www.angrynakedpat.com/network/icf/
http://www.observer.com/pages/story.asp?ID=7129

[Jason Ligon]

White kid ... friggin' awesome.

[Jesse Walker]

Thanks for the links, JDM. So he isn't a kid after all? I don't know whether I should be disappointed or even more impressed.

[JDM]

Makes it a little less funny, but much, much less disturbing. Probably a good trade off.

[ch]

Here's something left out of the above link:
Manchester Crown Court heard that John, who had fallen in love with Mark, also tricked him into performing sex acts on a webcam before tricking him into stabbing him twice in an alleyway at Altrincham on 29 June last year.

[MALAK]

That kid appears on the Jimmy Kimmel show on a regular basis. I sense a set-up . . .

[I hate the fat kid]

Am I the only one who found the video excruciating? Perhaps it's because I have some respect for the art of freestyling. The kid was terrible. End of story. That it's on the internet doesn't change the the fact.

I mean, I've heard plenty of terrible freestyling, and a rare bit of good freestyling. The kid sounds like every other terrible attempt, except that he doesn't give up. Bizzare sexual imagery is standard - it's very easy to come up with, very hard to break out of, and it get's people's attention. That's why surreal-sexual rap is of the lowest grade.