Virginia Is For Lovers (Some Restrictions Apply)

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Virginia's anti-gay law called strictest in nation

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
RICHMOND, Va.—Gay activists in Virginia are toying with a new motto for the state: "Virginia is for lovers. Some restrictions apply."

Gays and lesbians are angry and even threatening to leave the state over a new law that will prohibit civil unions and could interfere with contracts between same-sex couples….

Edna Johnston, a lesbian who has scuttled plans to move her historic preservation consulting business from Washington to Virginia, said: "It's not a signal, it's a message: 'You're not welcome.'"

The new law is an amendment to the state's 1997 Affirmation of Marriage Act, which prohibits gay marriages. The amendment extends that ban to civil unions, partnership contracts and other "arrangements between persons of the same sex purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage."

Some legal experts say the law is so vague it could interfere with powers of attorney, wills, medical directives, child custody, property arrangements and joint bank accounts.

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  1. Well, maybe the preference for “missionary” is a desire to keep sex as boring as possible. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

  2. Simple.

    1) It’s one of the most boring positions. Way less sensation than most other positions. It limits the fun and pleasure.

    2) Failure to and even prohibition against exploration of the human body. Christian biology cliffnotes: “The human body is icky, gross and sinful. Don’t do anything that could make you think otherwise.”

    3) Sex should be, from a pure Christian perspective, unpleasant. Its only function is to create more Christians. Thus, apply 1 and 2.

  3. What’s with all these clunker slogans the gay movement keeps coming with? Don’t they have any poets over there?

  4. Douglas Fletcher…

    You’ve got a point there. As much as I sympathize with their cause, I must admit the old “We’re here… We’re queer… ” family of slogans doesn’t inspire me to action.

  5. Mark S.,

    My favorite is: “Only 365 More Shopping Days Left To Piss Off The Religious Right.” 🙂

  6. How about “Regarde la vie autrement”?

    Ah, where’s Jean Bart when you need him?

  7. What do you expect? They named the place after “the virgin queen.”

  8. Fornication is illegal in Virginia too. That’s a much bigger exception to “Virginia is for Lovers” than the sodomy laws.

  9. So much for the liberty of contract.

  10. I love my Commonwealth, but I fear my government.

  11. “Virginia is for married, heterosexual couples who use the missionary position exclusively” probably won’t fit onto a bumper sticker.

  12. That’s our general assembly for you! In the midst of an unprecendented budget crisis they still found the time to stick it to the gays.

    Gotta love them!

  13. “heterosexual couples who use the missionary position exclusively…”

    Forgive my ignorance, but what is the fundie obssession with the missionary position all about. Besides the obvious male-domination-of-women angle, is there actually a biblical prohibition against other positions?

  14. …and forgive my spelling/grammar errors. Here’s the corrected version:

    Forgive my ignorance, but what is the fundie obsession with the missionary position all about? Besides the obvious male-domination-of-women angle, is there actually a biblical prohibition against other positions?

  15. Maybe they like that position because no other land animal except Bonobos mate with the partners face to face? It’s what seperates us from the animals.

  16. Mark S.,

    As far as know the position relates to Victorian (or even earlier) sexual sensibilities; there is nothing in the Bible which mandates it as far as I know. However, since a major theme historically of Christianity has been a hatred of both women and lust, a position which dominates the former, and curbs the latter does make some sense.

    Witness St. Jerome’s attitudes towards women; who he blames for the fall from grace. Indeed, he states that the only means by which women can redeem themselves is either by childbearing, or by remaining virgins:

    You have with you one who was once your partner in the flesh but is now your partner in the spirit; once your wife but now your sister; once a woman but now a man; once an inferior but now an equal. Under the same yoke as you she hastens toward the same heavenly kingdom. – St. Jerome, Letter to Lucinius, ? 3. (Lucinius and his wife had made a pact to remain abstain from sex.)

    Say to yourself: ‘What have I to do with the pleasures of sense that so soon come to an end? What have I to do with the song of the sirens so sweet and so fatal to those who hear it?’ I would not have you subject to that sentence whereby condemnation has been passed upon mankind. When God says to Eve, ‘In pain and in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children,’ say to yourself, ‘That is a law for a married woman, not for me.’ And when He continues, ‘Thy desire shall be to thy husband,” say again: ‘Let her desire be to her husband who has not Christ for her spouse.’ And when, last of all, He says, ‘Thou shalt surely die,’ once more, say, ‘Marriage indeed must end in death; but the life on which I have resolved is independent of sex. Let those who are wives keep the place and the time that properly belong to them. For me, virginity is consecrated in the persons of Mary and of Christ. – St. Jerome, Letter to Eustochium, ?18.

  17. Madog,

    Amongst the Greeks the common sexual position was from behind; if you do any work in ancient Greek pottery, when sex is protrayed on them, it is the dominant position. Anyway, your argument does not explain why a woman on top, yet still face to face, is so unacceptable to certain segments of Christianity (or perhaps other religions, or the Soviets for that matter).

  18. It’s long gone now, but there was this one fellow who proudly declared himself a “Christian fascist” who posted a web site featuring his fundamentalist political/religious view, his eternal admiration for Mussolini and Idi Amin, and the “Rules Of Sex.” From memory, they were.

    1. Sex shall only be permitted among married Christian couples.

    2. Sex shall be for reproduction only.

    3. The missionary position is the only acceptable style of sex.

    4. The woman shall not be brought to orgasm.

    He also featured an enemies list: Public enemy number one (right below NAMBLA) was the Libertarian Party.

    The whole thing could have been one big joke designed to satirize fundamentalists On the other hand the world IS full of nutjobs.

  19. Whoops! I meant to say “right above NAMBLA.”

    Either way, I don’t think anyone wants to be either position with that bunch.

  20. I’m not sure but I think he’s turned into Gary Gunnels.

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