The Thin Blue Line That Separates Poland from Chaos

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On getting mugged in Warsaw.

NEXT: Lott: Unleash the Dogs of Torture

Books Editor Jesse Walker is the author of Rebels on the Air and The United States of Paranoia.

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  1. Gary Gunnels

    *chuckle*

  2. Paul Z

    What a nice piece of writing. Thanks.

    I remember just barely not getting mugged outside the Marriott in 1990 because I was able to convince my prospective muggers that I was East German, not American (which, of course, I am).

  3. KentInDC

    Gary Gunnels,
    I was just reading another of your postings:

    WAR EAGLE!

  4. Larry Edelstein

    That was MOTHERFUCKING awesome.

  5. Is that ‘separates’ from chaos, or ‘joins’ with chaos? What a story.

  6. Mr. Wilson

    That. Was. Beautiful.

  7. I’ve walked all over Warsaw alone, day and night, and not had any sort of problem.

    I’ve been to 17 countries, and if I had to live in Europe, Poland would be one of my top choices.

  8. sylvie chen

    I was accosted by two gypsy women outside the Marriott. They were able to reach inside my jacket and pull out my money in a pouch around my neck without my knowing it until too late.

    The police said I should not walk alone, even here.
    So much for post-communism.

  9. Warsaw Cop

    MOTHERFUCKING COCK FUCKING SONS OF MOTHERFUCKING BITCHES!

  10. Joe Majsterski

    That was a pretty great story, despite all the horrific police state issues it raises.

  11. Pavel

    I don’t know why you posted this Jesse, it almost seemed like it was for my own personal amusement.

    I grew up in Poland, left when I was little, but returned in ’88, ’91, and several times since.

    This is article is spot on about the the one beautiful thing about Poland that has always stuck in my heart. The spirit of pure anarchism.* You see Poland has never had any respect for authority. Not the man on the street, not even the MOTHERFUCKING Police respect authority. There is of course the Church. But keep in mind, under Soviet rule Catholicism was anti-authoritarian.

    Another point is the reputation of Warsaw. While the author is right on about people being typically afraid of the wrong things. He doesn’t mention that crime (esp. multinational crime) is heavily centralized there. When I visited there late ’80s and early ’90s, the gypsy population actually had sprawled across much of the central areas of the city. They were a cause of, at worst, petty crimes. Since the fall of communism, the political situation made Warsaw a haven for vice crimes (prostitution, major drug traffiking, etc.). And also probably the world center of car theft cartels. If I was a game design guru, my next project would be Grand Theft Auto IV: Warsaw.

    Major money involved meant major gangs. The street kids the author describes are the typical kind of bullying punks any Pole is quite used to. Seeing as how the budget of your average police unit is on par with your average street kid’s weekly allowance, it’s no surprise that that’s the kind of crime they’re going to motherfucking go after. Gotta make yourself feel useful somehow right?

    * footnote [Actually, a little known period of several hundred years called “The Golden Freedom” is widely argued to be the only historical example of functional anarchy as a system of government.]

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