Edwards Not Dead Yet! Kerry Cops to Electoral Indigestion!

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From the AP, Boy Wonder Edwards does political calculus without a net:

Edwards pledged to stay in the race "until I'm nominated," but said in Ohio on Monday that he recognized that, "At some point, I've got to start getting more delegates or I'm not going to be the nominee."

Meanwhile, Kerry is starting to sound like an old man, repeating nonsense phrases (or maybe he's just having a Maalox Moment on the hustings):

"Boy, wait til you see the fire in my belly. I didn't win 18 out of 20 caucuses and primaries so far because I don't have the fire in the belly," Kerry told "The Early Show" on CBS. "And people who know me well know that fire is raging, and on behalf of the working people of America I intend to make sure that we restore fairness in our country again."

NEXT: sTopless Protest

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  1. What? I’m starting to cheer up about Bush’s prospects for re-election.

  2. I have a job. I work. I don’t want *anyone* to restore “fairness” in our country on my behalf. Fairness is such a nasty euphemism for equality of results anyway.

  3. “Boy, wait til you see the fire in my belly. I didn’t win 18 out of 20 caucuses and primaries so far because I don’t have the fire in the belly,”

    A Democratic Bob Dole. How wonderful for the lefties.

  4. rst,

    ouch. I hate to say it, but you seem to be on to something.

    War hero. Distinguished Senate career. Lack of charisma that occasionally grows into appealing anti-charisma. Running against the incumbent, more than running for something. Not beloved by the base.

    I can see your insight catching on.

  5. To hell with justice. We need “fairness”!

    New Pledge suggestion:

    “One nation under a mandatory deity, indivisible,
    with liberty and fairness for all.”

    That should satisfy the left AND the right.

  6. rst,

    Keen insight. I agree with you and joe. Do we get Kerry endorsements for pills that give you extra girth or something?

    “Lack of charisma that occasionally grows into appealing anti-charisma.”

    I like the turn of phrase, joe.

  7. Bob Dole for Commissioner of Baseball!

    “I sweart to God, Steinbrenner, you sign that right fielder and Bob Dole will put this pen right in your carrodid artery! Don’t ^@#$ with me: I’m Bob Dole! Whatever.”

  8. From his plastic surgery to trading in his first wife for a better model to voting liberal but not owning up to it, John Kerry is everything that disgusted me about the 1970s.

    I wish Dean would really stand up for America and put a stake through Kerry’s bioxin filled heart!

    But then you have the knucklehead who’s in there now, with his increased drug searches of school kids and talking to the voices he hears in his head.

    Harry browne, you have my vote! Where’s Jesse Ventura? can Arh-nuld run for president yet?

  9. “One of the most meaningful things that’s happened to me since I’ve been the governor?the president?governor?president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the same moment I watched him?get a Purple Heart for action in Iraq?and at that same?right after I gave him the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States?a Mexican citizen, now a United States citizen.”?George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 9, 2004

  10. Somebody should check that medal, I think I heard a loose nut behind the clasp while Bush was holding it…

  11. Ira–I have to know–how’s Lazarus doing?

  12. joe

    What was “distinguished” about Kerry’s Senate career? (Dole’s…for that matter?)

  13. A politician saying stupid things on the campaign trail? I’m shocked!

  14. What’s depressing is how much alike they are. Both have voted for more government spending than most of their senate colleagues and at levels that earn both of them “F”s from the NTU:

    Name: EDWARDS J
    Party: D
    State: North Carolina
    2002 Grade: F
    2002 Score (in %): 18%
    2002 Rank: 73

    http://www.ntu.org/main/components/ratescongress/details_all_years.php3?senate_id=150

    Name: KERRY J
    Party: D
    State: Massachusetts
    2002 Grade: F
    2002 Score (in %): 18%
    2002 Rank: 72
    2001 Grade: F

    http://www.ntu.org/main/components/ratescongress/details_all_years.php3?senate_id=54

  15. Sorry, didn’t mean to include Kerry’s 2001 grade. FYI. Edwards got an “F” for 2001 as well.

  16. Edwards is dead now…just quit.

    John Forbes Kerry is the man to beat.
    Somehow that is a scary thought.

    Kerry is for same sex marriage,
    tho he can’t say it outright.
    He is for states rights (0n this issue)
    which means that if one states says so,
    all the rest must go along.

    Kerry has started off on the wrong foot,
    making his speech, after introduction,
    with his back to the camera…then coughs
    to begin speaking.

    If he wins, I hope I can bear his voice for four years.
    It is a lot better than Liberman’s.
    Just once, I would love to hear Kerry go
    errrraaahhhaaaa!!!!

  17. Dole became Senate Majority Leader. Like him or not, that’s pretty impressive.

    Kerry has been the go-to guy on military matters for his party for a decade, and brought Iran Contra, BCCI, and CIA drug running into the daylight.

  18. KJ, the Noriega investigation.

  19. “….brought Iran Contra, BCCI, and CIA drug running into the daylight.”

    CIA drug running?

  20. Kerry being the ‘go-to’ guy on the military for his party is just another instance of why the Democratics have such a pathetic reputation when it comes to national defense, if indeed it is actually true. I would have thought that for much of the time Kerry has been in the Senate, Sam Nunn would have the the ‘go-to’ guy, anyway.

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