Paging Ooka the Wise

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Ooka the Wise was the feudal Japanese judge-hero of an old Scholastic Book of the same name. He rendered clever solutions to seemingly insoluble court cases. F'r instance, in one tale, a greedy restaurant owner learns that a poor student eats rice above the restaurant so that the smell of the good food makes his bland fare taste better. The owner demands compensation and Ooka solomonically (to switch cultural referents) decrees that the cost of "stealing" a smell will be the sound of money and commands the student to jingle his coins together for the owner.

Would that Ooka the Wise got to rule on this case out of Germany (no, not the consensual cannibalism one):

Woman Reports Neighbor for Disturbingly Loud Sex

BERLIN (Reuters)—A German woman took her male neighbor to court for noise pollution after he repeatedly kept her awake through half the night and had at least one four-hour sex session, a court spokeswoman said Friday.

"Four hours of sex noises. What was I supposed to think? It was nothing but groaning and banging," the woman told the judge, a Bild newspaper report said.

The woman told Berlin magistrates that her 25-year old neighbor Andreas G. was disturbing the peace by keeping her awake early in the morning.

Andreas said his 26-year old neighbor had complained in the past, calling at five in the afternoon, but that he had not felt obliged to respond. "I can have as much sex as loud as I want then," he said.

The judge dropped the case on learning that the man had since moved out of the apartment.

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  1. How is four hours of sex “efficient”? Two minutes sounds more efficient to me.

    According to Ricardo’s Law of Comparative Advantage, men like this guy should be getting the least sex.

    Hey Nick…if you were in a German Scheisse Video…you’d tell us, right?

  2. My neighbor in the apartment above me does the exact same thing. But since it turns my girlfriend on, who am I to complain?

  3. I don’t really understand why this is even worth noting. Anyone who has lived in an apartment complex has probably heard a neighbor having sex at one time or another (or a roommate for that matter). And I don’t see how this lady did anything odd about it. I mean, having really loud sex in the wee morning hours isn’t any different than cranking up the stereo, at least from the point of view of the person being kept awake.

    Just some monday morning humor for us?

  4. Hmmm…

    25 year old guy…
    26 year old girl lives next door…

    Maybe there’s a bit more history to this case than the article would indicate.

    Hmmm…

  5. or maybe it’s terribly fucking annoying to listen to 4 hours of screetching? hmmm?

    4 hours of sex is quite efficient, if you’re looking for a way to maximize good fun in four hours.

  6. Lets see.

    Neighbor makes a public complaint about a guy who does four-hour sex sessions.

    Women who are dissatisfied with fifteen-minute interludes perk up.

    Yeah, that’s the way to make the problem go away.

  7. How can I get a copy of the book “Ooka the Wise”? Amazon is out of them.

  8. since they’re germans, it was probably military manoeveurs.

    🙂

    Karl

  9. Let the jokes and stereotypical observations about German sex begin!

  10. und now ve vill engage in four hours of efficient cherman sex

  11. I don’t know, I kinda think of german sex as Bauhaus. Vanilla and sterile, but satisfying because it’s clean and fulfills its intent well.

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