The Matlock Network?


The American Association of Retired Persons is getting into the TV production biz. AARP sez there is no good reason why most TV shows target younger viewers. Dag-gumit.

NEXT: An Ephedra Issue

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  1. Don’t mock. I, for one, am looking forward to “Colostomy Cops: Back To Class, The Sequel” and “When Wilford Brimly Attacks”

  2. PS. If advertisers hated the old folks, why do I still have this line ringing in my ears:

    “I’ve Fallen! And I can’t get UP.”

  3. – I, for one, am looking forward to “Colostomy Cops: Back To Class, The Sequel”

    And its spinoff: “Colostomy Cops – Miami”

  4. I have a great idea for a slogan:

    “We’re old…and the world owes us a living.”

  5. “We’re old…and the world owes us a living.”

    It’s been done. See Social Security Act, 1935.

  6. Haven’t they heard of the rather puzzlingly named “Arts & Entertainment Network”?? It’s like non-stop Murder She Wrote and Matlock marathons on there.

  7. Obviously they don’t watch CBS.

  8. From the article:

    ‘”It’s simply crazy for ad agencies to buy time based on an arbitary cutoff age, as though once you reach your 50s you might as well be dead,” said Dick Kurlander, who has signed up as head of TV program development for AARP.’

    Yes, I’m just amazed that the advertising industry knows so little about advertising. That’s why it’s been making so little money and there are hardly any ads any more. If you want to know the *proper* way to advertise, ask the AARP!

  9. On a related topic, how many are eagerly anticipating listening to every word from the pirate radio station the NRA plans to set up?
    To my mind, guns and geezers are one thing. Sex and violence another.
    I’m an AARP geezer opting for the latter set.

  10. Could this have anything to do with campaign finance reform? If so, it is just one more reason to be livid with Bush for signing that piece of legislation.

    “I’ll just sign it, because it’s unconstitutional anyway and the Court will throw it out.” Wink, wink.

    Good plan.

    One thing we need more of is Andy Griffith. He has a Christmas album out.

  11. Incidentally, anyone have any theories as to why old folks love mysteries and cop shows so much? (Based on my empirical observation). I figure:

    1) straightforward linear narratives
    2) no sex or nudity
    3) lots of no-good young punks being tossed into jail by the elderly

  12. If my father is any indication, all the cottontops are watching Fox (“Why do they hate us?”) News, all day long, over and over and over and over…

  13. i think the AARP is secretly designed to make anyone under 50 want to assassinate the elderly.

  14. Matlock is so bad I even have trouble sleeping through it, that awful music they use for the breaks keeps waking me up.

    Hawaii Five-O, now there’s a show that works better than a sleeping pill every time.

  15. Grampa Simpson said it best…


  16. Maybe if they have their own network, there will be less _Matlock_ and _Murder She Wrote_ on uhhh… mainstream networks.

    Or maybe the AARP is segregating older people from the rest of society… and they are planning on building a compund in TX… where they intend to defend themselves against an attack by a government intent on homogenizing American society by any means necessary.

    You never thought of that possibility, did you?

  17. EMAIL:
    DATE: 02/28/2004 06:01:28
    Have no friends not equal to yourself.

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