Tidy story

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Newsweek says Saddam Hussein put up a fight when captured, sort of:

The Special Forces commando had already pulled the pin. He was primed to toss the grenade into the "spider hole," a Vietnam-era nickname for lethal hiding places. But the man cowering inside did not use the pistol resting in his lap. He raised both hands in submission and, speaking in English, announced, "I am Saddam Hussein, I am the president of Iraq and I'm willing to negotiate."

As the story was later told, one of the Special Forces operators looked down at the disheveled, bearded, seemingly dazed man and replied, "President Bush sends his regards." And coming out of the hole, Saddam accidentally bumped his head. But a knowledgeable U.S. official told NEWSWEEK that it didn't quite happen that way. In fact, as Saddam was being handcuffed, he began to struggle with his captors. He spat at the soldiers. One of the commandos decked him, either with a punch or a rifle butt. (The military later tidied up the story of his capture for popular consumption.)

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  1. I captured him. I turned him over because I didn’t want him around the house, the smelly bastard.

  2. Where exactly did the White House lie, Joe? My understanding is that nobody on the government side has confirmed any of the urban legends now making the rounds, and military spokesmen have tried to downplay them.

    Or did you just mistype that, meaning instead to say “why do I have to lie about the White House?” Go back to DU, dickus.

  3. Don’t worry about Joe. Everyone knows he is a dickus.

  4. Whoa, so it didn’t quite happen that way. As he was being handcuffed, he spat at a soldier! Wow, that’s one fierce Arab.

    And of course the fact that this happened while he was being handcuffed means that before he was handcuffed, he couldn’t possibly have surrendered.

  5. He spat at the soldiers? Aha! A biological attack!

  6. WMD = Weapons of Moist Drool

  7. What exactly is “DU?”

    What exactly is a “dickus?”

    Why is the bleeding obvious pattern of White House massaging of stories from Iraq so difficult for you to see?

  8. Why is the bleeding obvious pattern of White House massaging of stories from Iraq so difficult for you to see?

    Because of the bleeding obvious pattern of the massaging of stories by every source that has ever had a story since stories were told.

    Except for the Guardian, of course. Straight from the mouth of the Lord comes that one.

  9. I thought the Kurds captured him. Or was it, the Kurds captured him, then drugged him and left him for the Americans?

    Then again, it’s all bull, because he was just spotted last Wednesday giving out “10 papers” to the sheik of the Bayt Habous mosque to be distributed amongst the poor Sunnis.

    Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  10. I dunno. . . can Saddam actually speak/understand english? All this jesting with american soldiers sounds a little urban legendy.

  11. can Saddam actually speak/understand english

    Nearly all world leaders speak English (the West educates them so that when they speak ill about the West, they do so without sounding like one of their illiterate subjects). They use translators as a diplomatic maneuver.

  12. If it proved to be true that Saddam took a rifle but to the head, I don’t think that would bother me – or very many ohters – all that much. So sanitizing the story wqs probably less about that than making Saddam come off worse.

  13. What’s the big deal either way? Being subdued by a single blow indicates there wasn’t much of a struggle, so what difference does it make?

  14. They should have just thrown the grenade down the hole and been done with the whole thing.

  15. Like the president’s travel on September 11, and deciding to make the cute blonde Jessica Lynch the hero instead of the guy who was actually a here, I don’t understand why the White House felt the need to lie. As if the American people would have been upset to hear that Saddam got hit by a rifle butt!

    Ever hear the phrase “too smart for your own good?”

  16. At least one of those capture stories is false. I’m not sure if it’s the easy capture story, or the butt-to-the-head story, or both.

  17. OMG! Saddam got hit by a rifle butt? That’s it, I demand a full investigation by Amnesty International!

    But seriously, I couldn’t care less if he got hit by a rifle butt. And I’m in the camp ardently in favor of giving him a fair trial (to make his guilt and our nation’s fairness abundantly clear to all the world, since I take it as a given that even in the fairest possible trial he’ll be convicted and given the maximum penalty). So if even wimps like me couldn’t care that he was hit by a rifle butt, why cover it up?

  18. A white house cover-up? Does anyone here know anything about how human beings really behave?
    “Yeah, I slugged the sumabitch!”
    Man, that story would be worth quite a few beers in the NCO club! Please, please, please use your imaginations once in while for something other than concocting conspriacy theories.

    And don’t worry about Saddam. I’m sure there was a tort lawyer somewhere in the vicinity. Maybe now he can pay for his last meal after he’s awarded.

  19. I don’t know why this has to degenerate into name calling. We’re all idiots or dickheads at various points in our lives, why point fingers.

    To quote G. Gordon Liddy, ‘gratuitous assertions may be equally gratuitously denied.’

    Whatever that means.

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