By the Time I Get to Phoenix


I'm too big a Glen Campbell fan to view today's sad news with even an ironist's sense of fun. If he really did knee that arresting officer, I'm sure the policeman must have done something to deserve it.

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  1. Glen just can’t get it up any more — he tried to knee the cop in the balls and all he could reach was his thigh.

  2. Yeah, Glen used to say that Tanya Tucker deserved it, too…

  3. i want the version of “rhinestone cowboy” he sang in jail to hit KaZaa………

  4. I would have titled this piece “Witchita Can’t-Drive-in-a-Straight-Line Man,” but that’s just me.

  5. That’s why you’re in the comments section, Peter, and the pros are on the board….

  6. i hope they throw the book at him. you don’t treat officers of the law that way. you respect their authority even if they are part of a wasteful unionized bureaucracy that should long have been privatized.

  7. I hope Glen pays his ASCAP fees so Larry Weiss gets paid.


  8. I drank some wine, man, for the county
    Then I drive the main road
    Searching in that bottle for
    another overload

    And I need juice more than want juice
    But I want juice for all time
    And the Wichita Wineman
    Is still on the Wine…

  9. (To the tune of ‘Galveston’)

    Tanqueray, oh Tanqueray
    I still hear your spirits pourin’
    I still feel my courage soarin’
    I kneed a cop today, from drinkin’ Tanqueray

    Absolut, oh Absolut
    I still taste your Citron flavor
    How’d I fall so out of favor?
    Why’d they give me grief,
    When I asked to see the chief

    Cutty Sark, Oh Cutty Sark
    Don’t you know that I’m Glen Campbell?
    Drink and drive and drug and gamble
    I blew .21
    On the breathalyzer gun

  10. Excellent song, anon 0907!


    As much as I’d like to give the benefit of the doubt to anybody but the cop, it sounds like Campbell was staggering, falling-down shitfaced and a real unpleasant drunk.

    anon 0705,

    I can’t say I have any respect for cops’ “authority” (or that of anybody else, for that matter), but they’re doing a job that somebody would be doing even in a stateless society; and some of them, at least, are decent. Anybody driving around that drunk should be kneed in his own balls, not doing the kneeing.

  11. Anybody ever see that Kenny Rogers impersonator with the ventriloquist dummy? “I’m gonna drink this glass of strawberry Quik….” First time I saw that guy, I thought I’d have to buy a truss before I got done laughing.

  12. “Like a Wine Store Cowboy”

  13. Isn’t it a little bit trite to sing your own hit when you’re drunk and in jail?

  14. When you’re a former country star sitting in jail drunk, it’s a little late to worry about trite.

  15. Never cared much for Glen, nor for Kenny Rogers. Those two have bad karma, especially in comparison to Lester and Earl.

  16. Glen Campbell stole Mac Davis’ wife. When I was a very young girl I had a crush on Mac Davis. (Yes, really.) Ergo, Glen Campbell sucks.

    Is Mac Davis still alive?

  17. Glen and Mac of same ilk: cruddy karma.

  18. Haven’t heard anything about Mac Davis in quite awhile. Is he still in the music business? Or has he retired and never to be heard from any longer?

  19. Haven’t heard anything about Mac Davis in quite awhile. Is he still in the music business? Or has he retired and never to be heard from any longer?

  20. Mac Davis is way too cool. Glen Campbell sucks big time.

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