Geoffrey is a Giraffe…

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Geoffrey will make you laugh.

Apparently, with nitrous oxide, airplane glue, or some other naughty inhalant.

Geoffrey is, of course, the Toys 'R' Us mascot. He made the faux pas of sucking helium from a balloon in a recent TV ad, thus drawing the ire of federal drug warriors, who really have too much time on their hands.

??Any portrayal of inhalant use is bad, especially when we're reaching out to younger children who are at most risk of abusing inhalants," Charles Curie, administrator for the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, said."

"And what did you do during the drug war, Daddy?"

"I busted the chops of fake giraffes, junior."

Whole sad story here.

[Link via Dong Resin's Joint]

NEXT: Did Somebody Say McSensitive?

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  1. If that is all it takes to be the administrator for the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, maybe Geoffrey should be the head and Charles should be a department store mascot.

    ‘Night all!

  2. I did not realize helium was an inhalant. Drinking water might look suspiciously like drinking other things, and what about mommy’s “vitamins”? Where are the people with the guns and plastic handcuffs when school’s not in session?

  3. They should throw the book at the damned giraffe. Tommy Chong got 9 months for bongs; what’s the penalty for selling huffing gear?

  4. I’m inhaling a mixture of nitrogen and oxygen right now.

  5. When I was a kid, we used to get high by hyperventilating. I guess we can’t have any of that either…

  6. I am holding my breath until I pass out.

  7. Hyperventilating? What do you call that, a McHigh?

  8. Who couldn’t see this coming. This is just the next step in what is a blatant attempt to undermine the very fabric of society. I mean come on people… A talking giraffe? What kind of sickos would select an anthropomorphized, fur bearing, animal as their corporate spokesman anyway? I think we all know the answer to that.

    http://pressedfur.coolfreepages.com/press/vanityfair/

    What sickens me most is that the Geoffrey ads are targeted directly at our children. When will we ever start caring enough to protect the children!?

  9. That’s not a real giraffe?

  10. That’s it.

    I am no longer going to bitch about the stupidity of the drug war in all its manifestations. I am going to encourage it at every possible opportunity.

    Let’s get these guys going after as many talking plush toys as possible, staging gestapo raids on high schools as often as possible, and throwing as many productive members of society in jail as possible.

    Then…MAYBE…everyone might start to catch on that this was a bad idea.

  11. I think you might be on to something Brian. Rather than on something, that is…

    🙂

  12. “Toys ‘R’ Us takes the safety of our guests very seriously…”

    Cripes, if I shop in they’re grubby toy store I’m a “guest”???

  13. : Cripes, if I shop in they’re grubby toy store I’m a “guest”???

    An invitee, if we’re talking legal standing.

    – Josh

  14. “When I was a kid, we used to get high by hyperventilating. I guess we can’t have any of that either…”

    Well, let’s hope not. I knew a kid who went into a coma after doing that and later died. One of those things you probably shouldn’t do, like sniffing glue.

  15. Mr. Fletcher,

    Do you also know any kids whose eyes stayed crossed when they were hit in the back while crossing them?

  16. When will they make America safe from Redi-Whip?

    I saw a lot more teens sucking the nitrous out of Redi-Whip cans while working the night shift in the dairy section than i ever saw huffing helium at toys-r-us

  17. I am still holding my breath, it takes a long time to pass out.

  18. They better round up all of the Sit-and-Spins…. Personally, I still like to spin and spin in place until I get real dizzy. Yeah, real dizzy.

  19. Remember in the 1980s when Reverend Donald Wildmon claimed that Mighty Mouse was snorting cocaine?

  20. Remember in the 1980s when Reverend Donald Wildmon claimed that Mighty Mouse was snorting cocaine?

  21. That commercial should be criticized – every idiot knows that hot air balloons do not contain helium!!! They float because they are filled with HOT AIR.

  22. I guess none of you got Gillespie’s point: “drug warriors, who really have too much time on their hands. (Way too much, and funded by YOU.)

    So why waste yours on such rot?

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