OK, It's Not Really from Cosmopolitan


Are you a neocon? Take this Cosmo quiz to find out.

NEXT: Ironique, Non?

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  1. I also came up Isolationist, which is basically fine by me, except for the company I supposedly keep. Anti-globalizationists and Pat Buchanan are not my favorite people. Those are exactly the stasists I fear the most. Oh well.

  2. Joe – all of which goes to show that it’s difficult to pinpoint someone’s politics by looking at his/her views on a single issue. Furthermore, the neat “categories” of Liberal, Conservative, Libertarian, Green, Neocon, and whatever other label anyone wants to try and use don’t really work that well with real people, who may have a diverse set of views. I was deemed a “Liberal” by this little survey. Anyone who knows me knows that I may be many things but I am NOT a Liberal. However, on the issue of the Iraq war, I do stand with many Liberals in my opposition of it.

  3. Realist.

    I have to say that I bordered on the more hostile in many of my responses, though.

    For example, I do believe that petty dictators in that part of the world ONLY understand force, and I do believe that action in Iraq will help on that front (it is, in fact, the real reason for the war). I answered the related question regarding the palestinians situation in a more neutral way, because I do, believe that the US must act as an honest broker and that a Palestinian state is the only end game.

    Maybe the results would be better if you ranked them instead of choosing one exclusively.

    Now, fess up. Who here thought that the UN was humanity’s best hope for world peace?

  4. The lack of a category that allows for trade and immigration with people, without the need to drop bombs on, or subjugate, is a pretty big chasm.

    I scored Isolationist. Happy to be in the Silent Cal camp. But being tossed in bed with Pat ‘I am not a racist’ Buchanan makes one feel the need to shower.

  5. “The lack of a category that allows for trade and immigration with people, without the need to drop bombs on, or subjugate, is a pretty big chasm.”

    Reminds me of an argument I heard in school about whether Hitler was a globalist (he didn’t want to hide within his borders) or a Germany-firster.

    I started bleeding from my follicles.

  6. Come on Jason Ligon, you know the UN’s plan to bind the world in red tape and smother it in pointless reports is our last best chance for a lasting peace.

  7. >>I’m not anti-globalization, and am pro
    >>immigration (primarily for culinary reasons)

    exactly…I despise McDonalds personally, not for anti-globalization reason, but mostly because their “food” just sucks. The rest of the world knows how to eat, and in the interest of promoting American consumption of actual food, globalization/pro-immigration policy is a good thing.

    And yes, I’m an “isolationist” too…come on over and bring a favorite dish, but leave your militaries at home kinda thing.

  8. I squeaked by on the “free trade” thing by using the mental reservation that “protect American jobs” could include just ceasing to SUBSIDIZE the export of capital.

    But one of those questions had three answers with various degrees of interventionist sentiment (ranging from neocon to internationalist liberal); and the FOURTH answer, the only non-interventionist one, said the money spent on Iraq could be used for (gag) Universal Health Insurance. I refused to put down any answer at all for that one.

    One reason so many polls give misleading results is that the people designing them are such idiots. It’s like one of those Orwellian “personality profiles” the HR people give you–easy to ace just by figuring out what kind of pathetic, docile brown-noser they want.

    Some polls include an option “Don’t know/no opinion.” But I know damn well what my opinion is, it just doesn’t fit within the miserable range of alternatives provided. Why should I choose an answer implying that the fault is with MY ignorance or apathy, rather than with the intelligence of the person who designed the questions?

    The last time I got polled on the phone, I got into an argument with the pollster and he hung up on me.

  9. I came out as a Scorpio, with his house rising… oh wait, I took the real Cosmo quiz!

  10. John,

    Yeah, good company in hell! :-O

  11. Took it twice on schizophrenic grounds. Came out of the closet as a liberal realist.

  12. Before anyone complains: Yes, I know that this quiz doesn’t make room for people who are military non-interventionists but also support immigration and free trade. It’s still a neat little feature.

  13. Gee, I now know I’m a realist and in the same compnay as Colin Powell and Dwight Eisenhower. Then again they were both generals.

  14. Eeek! And I’m a liberal. I think that’s
    what I get for dating someone in international
    relations while I was in grad school.


  15. They called me a liberal, too. Maybe this quiz is for the position you most dislike?

    I mean, honestly, Jimmy Carter?

  16. Hey, I’m a neconservative! And a libertarian! Screw you, Raimondo!

  17. If this was a REAL Cosmo quiz, it would have at least one question about anal sex, at least one question about lesbianism, and probably at least two or three questions about abortion.

  18. Well, Jimmy Carter did experience lust in his heart…

  19. Fun stuff!

    I was correctly ranked as an isolationist.

  20. I came up as a “Liberal” (Woodrow Wilson?!?! *gag*), which I suspect is because my support for free trade kept me from scoring as an “Isolationist”.

  21. I test out as an Isolationist. The mind simply boggles. Didn’t see much free trade stuff in the quiz, actually.

  22. I’m like Ike, a realist. I’ll take that over neocon or a liberal. What I want to know is why did isolationists get their own mini-paragraph while the other 3 just had bullet points.

  23. I’m a “realist,” like Colin Powell and Ike. I think that pretty much says all that needs to be said about this quiz.

  24. Reason should come up with something like this. It can’t be hard to beat their accuracy.

    I took it twice; answering falsely the first time and as honestly as the quiz would allow the second. Both times I came up as the dreaded neocon.

    That I gave completely different answers, in letter and spirit, on both tests and received the same result, it seems like they were fishing for necons and were determined to find some one way or another.

  25. Isolationist for me and… Buchanan?!?! Great.

    I bet realist came in second for me; I’m not anti-globalization, and am pro-immigration (primarily for culinary reasons). I have no beef with other countries, I just think foreign policy should be limited to “Whadaya wanna buy” and “Whadaya wanna sell.”

  26. “…and am pro-immigration (primarily for culinary reasons). I have no beef with other countries…”

    Mmmmm – Indian food.

  27. Neocon, neocon, neocon.

    TR and Ronald Reagan. Not bad company for me.

  28. Next up, we’d like to see Cosmo magazine (and People, and Time, and Seventeen, and all the other slicks) post THIS QUIZ:


    (Makes a heck of a lot more sense.)

  29. Took Walter’s quiz. Now I’m a Libertarian. Mom will be so proud.

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