Satire as Prophecy

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Once again, life is imitating The Onion. At this point, I'm pretty sure the paper's hit rate is way above Jeane Dixon's.

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  1. Ben and J-Lo’s PR people need to realize that this relationship is not quite the marketing match made in heaven that they thought it was when they set it up. Ben has had a few good performances in his career, but it seems to me that J-Lo’s only qualification for her lofty status is that she has a big ass. And I have to ask, whose idea was it to cast Ben as an Italian?

  2. I thought I was at WSJ for a second.

  3. Everyone know’s Ben’s best performance was in Mallrats. He should stick to Kevin Smith films.

  4. I’ll be very disappointed if The Onion doesn’t feature a headline this Wednesday along the lines of “Arnold Schwarzenegger Enters California Gubernatorial Race”

  5. “It” girl to punchline in a matter of days…gotta love it.

  6. I do believe the terms here are “Regression to the mean” and the saying “Pride cometh before the fall.”

    Man, meteoric rises and slamming falls – even if you have to throw the sons of bitches down yourself – sure are popular. I’m not actually complaining, either.

  7. I have *never* understood Lopez’s popularity…not attractive, no talent, no class.

  8. I quote an earlier J.Lo post:

    NICE ASS, THOUGH.

  9. I have been enjoying the name “Bennifer”, as a way to refer to them. Classic.

  10. Brady: Just don’t ask me to JennAffleck in their prescence, o.k? Sorry, couldn’t resist.

  11. I hate to dissent from the J-Lo backlash cum ritual sacrifice. I’ve always hated her music, after all, and most of her movies are pretty crummy too.

    But she was pretty good in Out of Sight and The Cell. And, contra David, I think she’s rather good-looking.

    Besides: Does anyone really think Ben Affleck is any better? Honestly? Then how come there aren’t more nasty cracks about him?

  12. Probably because he isn’t going around saying stuff like “I’m still just Benny from the hood,” while acting like Leona Helmsley toward the production crew.

  13. Jesse:

    I would say that more people go after J. Ho because of her fake “i’m still ‘real'” attitude. she goes out of her way to say she is still the old person she used to be instead of just admitting that she is now an uber-Diva. Ben is a playboy and doesn’t apologize for it.

  14. Come on, guys. It’s right there in the song:

    “Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got
    She’s still she’s still Jenny from the block…”

    Because we all know that, even when she was Jenny from the block, she had an entourage that had to follow 12 steps in front of her to clear off odors that might unbalance her “Chi”, and then spray lavender after those scents are cleared.

  15. I liked it better when we seemed to burn through our celebrities at a faster rate than at present. Part of the Ben and JLo backlash isn’t that people dislike them, it’s that we’re just tired of them and they won’t just go back to their less “in your face” days.

    Or maybe it’s a case of technology. We seem to have more ability to choose what we want “in our face” and what we don’t, and these 2 seem to have gotten around that barrier, especially Jen.

  16. I am sick and tired of Jen and Ben. Those two deserve to be shipped to a lost Island and thrown together alone for 5-10 years..like the much loved film Swept Away. Talk about overexposre. Interesting thing that J-Ho fired her longtime manager Mr. Medina a couple of months ago because he warned her of overexposure/diva/backlash looming. He was right, and J-ho from the shit block should friggin disappear!

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