Opinion Writer Humility Minute

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I do wonder, now and again, whether I'm not just doing this.

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  1. Worst of all, you bastards get paid for it!

    (Yes, I’m jealous.)

  2. Dogbert makes at least as much sense as many of the talking heads out there.

  3. This country is indeed consumed by partisan politics if even Dilbert has succumbed. On the bright side, maybe he can tweak some oppressive office issues, such as sexual harassment policies…

  4. More Dilbert, less chit chat!

  5. Dogbert for Governor!

  6. I say an even better idea is to blame this whole Homeland Security mess on Enron. Scientists are studying what role climate change plays in all of this. I’m in favor of GM foods for the WMDs, but only if it results in a cure for SARS and more SUVs on the road. Tax cuts for the rich are fine, but gay marriage would really cloud the issue. Of course, the end result of this is an obesity epidemic. Although, it’s unclear how all of this benefits anyone except for the wealthiest 1%.

    Is that enough sound bytes for ya?

  7. Is that enough sound bytes for ya?

    Oh, and I suppose we left-handed near-sighted Ukrainian-Canadian file clerks are left out in the cold once again. Hmph.

  8. If you’ve ever missed a couple days on H&R and try to look for a given post you notice, as I have that it’s scrolled off the main H&R screen almost as quickly as it came on. And regardless of how eloquent a post or sL0ppY 4 //R!t3R, it’s gonna be gone, forgotten and relagated to the same virtual garbage dump as sits the original MetaCrawler design. A bit nilistic? Screw off, this thread will be gone in 48 hours.

  9. I, for one, think the Raptor needs to base its stealth capabilities on buckyballs, so that it can provide better carrier-based close air support. There’s a revolution in military affairs, doncha know.

  10. Citizen, you weren’t listening! Sit up straight and pay attention this time:

    Hit & Run is a mosquito by day, and a fly by night.

    (Can’t change the world when you’re on the Run.)

    Hit & Run is a MOVING TARGET

    So good luck hitting anything.

  11. Textual Deconstructions: Cultural postdialectic theory in the works of Stone
    Stefan A. S. Cameron
    Department of Literature, Carnegie-Mellon University
    1. Contexts of absurdity
    “Sexual identity is part of the paradigm of art,” says Bataille. In a sense, Baudrillard uses the term ‘cultural postdialectic theory’ to denote a self-falsifying paradox. Lacan’s model of prestructuralist discourse implies that discourse is a product of the collective unconscious, given that the premise of the textual paradigm of narrative is invalid.

    “Reality is dead,” says Lyotard; however, according to Hubbard[1] , it is not so much reality that is dead, but rather the rubicon, and therefore the defining characteristic, of reality. It could be said that Marx uses the term ‘cultural postdialectic theory’ to denote the difference between sexual identity and truth. Several constructivisms concerning the failure, and eventually the fatal flaw, of neodialectic class may be found.

    However, Baudrillard uses the term ‘semioticist precultural theory’ to denote not, in fact, narrative, but subnarrative. An abundance of materialisms concerning prestructuralist discourse exist.

    In a sense, Debord uses the term ‘patriarchial narrative’ to denote the bridge between society and class. Sontag promotes the use of cultural postdialectic theory to analyse culture.

    But a number of desublimations concerning a predeconstructivist whole may be revealed. In JFK, Stone examines the material paradigm of context; in Platoon, although, he analyses prestructuralist discourse.

    2. Stone and postcultural nihilism
    The characteristic theme of Pickett’s[2] critique of neopatriarchial situationism is the role of the writer as participant. Thus, prestructuralist discourse states that the State is capable of deconstruction. The creation/destruction distinction intrinsic to Stone’s Heaven and Earth is also evident in Natural Born Killers.

    If one examines cultural nihilism, one is faced with a choice: either reject prestructuralist discourse or conclude that sexuality is part of the genre of narrativity, but only if sexuality is distinct from reality; if that is not the case, we can assume that reality comes from the masses. However, the main theme of the works of Stone is a mythopoetical reality. Any number of dematerialisms concerning cultural postdialectic theory exist.

    But the primary theme of Tilton’s[3] analysis of postsemanticist patriarchialism is not theory, as cultural postdialectic theory suggests, but pretheory. The premise of capitalist feminism holds that the law is fundamentally unattainable.

    Thus, the subject is contextualised into a cultural postdialectic theory that includes truth as a totality. The characteristic theme of the works of Stone is the meaninglessness of subdialectic society.

    But Lyotard suggests the use of postcultural nihilism to deconstruct capitalism. Sartre uses the term ‘the capitalist paradigm of context’ to denote a pretextual whole.

    3. Prestructuralist discourse and Sontagist camp
    In the works of Stone, a predominant concept is the distinction between feminine and masculine. Thus, in Heaven and Earth, Stone affirms postcultural nihilism; in Natural Born Killers he analyses Sontagist camp. An abundance of narratives concerning not deconstruction, but postdeconstruction may be found.

    Therefore, if cultural postdialectic theory holds, we have to choose between capitalist predialectic theory and Lyotardist narrative. Sontag uses the term ‘Sontagist camp’ to denote the paradigm, and subsequent defining characteristic, of textual sexual identity.

    However, Bataille promotes the use of neocapitalist narrative to read and modify society. Derrida uses the term ‘Sontagist camp’ to denote the difference between class and sexual identity. In a sense, the fatal flaw of cultural postdialectic theory which is a central theme of Stone’s Platoon emerges again in Natural Born Killers, although in a more mythopoetical sense. Lacan’s model of Sontagist camp states that class, perhaps surprisingly, has significance.

    ——————————————————————————–
    1. Hubbard, O. ed. (1975) Cultural postdialectic theory in the works of Spelling. Cambridge University Press
    2. Pickett, V. N. E. (1980) The Economy of Expression: The textual paradigm of narrative, cultural postdialectic theory and Marxism. And/Or Press

    3. Tilton, A. ed. (1998) Cultural postdialectic theory in the works of Mapplethorpe. Oxford University Press

  12. All right, I’ll talk! I’ll tell you anything you want to know, just make it sto-o-o-o-op!

    (Callapses, sobbing, onto floor).

  13. Joe, RTFA all the way through before you start complaining. You obviously didn’t catch all of the author’s intended nuances …

  14. The above essays were generated by one of my favorite software programs ever – the random post-modern essay generator. This thing is amazing. What the programmers have done is taken a bunch of post-modern essays and broken them down into sets of words, and assigned a probability to each set of words being associated with every other set of words. The essays that it generates are totally random and totally meaningless, but the irony is that they look a lot like an authentic work from any random post-modern scholar at any of our fine liberal arts colleges.

  15. No freakin way. Does it have a name, or is that randomly generated crap, too?

  16. Citizen – OH, HAPPY DAY! I found an HTML version of the random post-modern essay generator on-line! The URL is:

    http://www.elsewhere.org/cgi-bin/postmodern

    Enjoy!

  17. Wow Brad! I could have used that in college!

  18. I like Burroughs, too.

    Especially the Mars novels. Tars Tarkis rocks!

    Kevin

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